I want to testify of the power of your prayers that brought deliverance and revelation from the Lord that was so unexpected.
As many of you know , I shared that I have a terminal illness, but what you didn't know was that I had pretty much thrown in the towel. I isolated myself from everyone even family members.
The devil knew that I was beginning to break out of my imposed prison of loneliness when I found GNC and then later AFF. When I posted this thread, I never imagined that some would use it for attacking my character and making unfounded accusations. I was flooded with the sense of despair, but instead of crawling back into my loneliness, I began to seek after the Lord and listen
for his voice.
The next evening, Sis. Fella sent an email where she wrote that perhaps God wanted to use me and this experience to help others. My faith was still not able to receive that word, so I just kept on praying. I repented of the things that God had showed me that I harbored against others and then the Lord starting unraveling the revelation that he wanted to show me.
The revelation was I saw the weapon/tool that Satan used against me when I was the most vulnerable. I saw the times in my life how it was the same tactic, the same weapon used the same way that kept me from seeing Christ in me.
The fear of rejection was the tool Satan used to disassemble my spirit and hope from a young boy and throughout my whole life. It had proven to be very affective in destroying my hope and faith and confidence I needed in order to become the overcomer that God created in me.
What the devil didn't know was that this time I wouldn't slip back into my despair and God was about to do something that would break the stronghold of fear of rejection in my life. What I've experienced these last several days was God ordained.
For weeks the Lord kept putting a minister's name in my head that I knew from years ago. He was a prophetic man who would speak faith to me and told me that God was going to use me. I couldn't remember his last name, but I knew his first name was Johnny. I didn't see it at the time that God was leading me somewhere and it had something to do with Johnny.
I hadn't seen him or thought about him in well over a decade. But as last week drew to a close, I remembered his last name. I turned on the computer and within minutes was able to locate an article of him preaching a crusade in Pakistan. I was so happy that the Lord was using him in such a mighty way. I followed some links until I found some articles on his website.
The first one that caught my eye was
"When Wounded Men Rise" and as I read the article the Holy Ghost moved on me and breathed life back into me. Hope began to swell within me and I could hardly read for the tears that flowed. I knew that it was my carnality that made me vulnerable to be wounded by the words of men. God confirmed that he used imperfect men to fulfill his plan: Men that others would say were disqualified for being the instrument of God. After all that had been revealed and the tears stopped flowing, I went to the next article,
"The Three Anointings".
When I read about the first anointing and how it was given to the leper, I wanted to run around the house. Glory to God!!! I saw myself as a leper, so unclean, so ashamed, only God knew that was how I saw myself. Oh, praise the name of the Lord! I declare that I haven't felt this joy, unspeakable joy, for such a long, long time.
I have been singing all day and just basking in this new found revelation. Here I was planning my death and and now I'm planning my life. I'm trusting in God's word and his promises.
If those brothers and sisters hadn't reacted to my thread the way they did, my deliverance would have been jeopardized. He used each of you to bring me back to the fold and I thank God for you. Who knew that AFF would be a soul winning website?
God did!
I just read the last couple of pages of this thread tonight when I logged in to see if Rhoni was back. The one thing that popped out from the pages that confirmed what has happened was the comment that Margie wrote on post # 425. She wrote, "And even if he doesn't want out prayers - prayer is a VERY effective tool!!! It may just be that GOD is truly to reach him through our prayers".
What she wrote was prophetic and a confirmation of what the Lord has done. My heart is so full of thankfulness to Jesus and you, his servants.
With much gratitude,
Kenneth
http://www.spiritled.org/Fresh%20Manna/01-99.htm wounded
http://www.spiritled.org/Fresh%20Manna/11-99.htm three anointings
http://www.spiritled.org/Fresh%20Manna/6-98.htm eagle vs vulture
By the way, Rhoni, I have a pretty good idea where the Lord wants me to worship. I struggled at first because I know that it is a conservative church, but I won't question the Lord. I know there is one person here that attends that church. If that person happens to read this, keep an eye out for a white skinny visitor and come up and say hello.
I'll share more with you later.
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