Quote:
Originally Posted by Pressing-On
I don't think I agree with his premise about lust and desire. I think you can have both in your marriage. Lust being defined as "intense sexual craving".
There are times that you can feel so full of love you desire your spouse and other times it's just an intense sexual craving. Just normal human emotion and feeling, IMO.
He is equating "lust" with something you crave outside of marriage - always. I don't agree with that. It doesn't always have to be that way.
My two cents.  |
I agree. "Lusting" after your spouse is NOT bad, and shouldn't be characterized as if it is. Sometimes it's romantic and "desire"...other times...well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timlan2057
I think this is the other extreme from these simpleton preachers always harping about "sex curls", seductive long fingernails and wearing red.
They're as obsessed with sex as any convicted pervert.
But ... while there is nothing wrong with teaching that sex is good and wholesome from a christian point of view - this business of "have sex all seven nights this week" intrudes too much into the bedroom too.
Preachers should stay out of the married bedroom, period.
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I agree with this, too. He would be better served to
recommend that couples try having sex more often. But to give it a set time frame or number of times is just too much. Relationships are too complex to have that simplistic a solution. For one thing, women need to be "warmed up", and if a man is just going to say, "Hey, it's day 2, let's go," and expect something fantastic to happen in his marriage because of it--well, he's just delusional.
On the flip side, there is something to be said for setting aside private time when kids, jobs, and other obligations get in the way of intimacy. Sometimes a spouse may not be in the mood, but once you get alone and start spending time together, that can change FAST!
If he recommended that couples spend, say, 1 hour a day alone, without the tv or cell phone or computer, just talking or having fun, the rest would probably take care of itself.
It IS refreshing to see pastors finally trying to address sex from a Christian perspective, but there are still boundaries. I would be afraid that some men in particular would use the pastor's strong suggestion to pressure their wives in a way that would not only be unhelpful, but would have the reverse effect.
That said. Jeff and I agreed when we got married that we wouldn't take grudges to bed with us, and that we would NOT use sex as a weapon against each other, and both of us have kept that commitment. I have ZERO patience with women who say, "Okay, buddy, no sex until you toe the line." No, work out the problem so you CAN have sex. Don't use it against your husband as a way to control him. And since men do (generally) have a greater sex drive than women, then it should be a given that sometimes there needs to be sex when he's the only who is in the mood.
As for men...well, it's cliched but TRUE...sex starts in the kitchen.
Preach it sista!!!!
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