Why am I labeled backslid and unusable by God

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Let's just play this game.

PO - - you wake up tonight and God has visited you in a dream and revealed to you that cutting your hair is okay. So, tomorrow you go cut it and show up at church Sunday morning with your new do.

Sis. Sour comes up to you crying and just heartbroken that you've done this and says, "you know you've been taught better than that. I can't believe you are willing to go to hell over your hair. Since you've chosen this path, my husband and I can no longer fellowship with you - you are a backslider and light and dark can't have dinner together anymore."

God let you know what you are doing is okay with him - you have peace about that.

You've said nothing to Sis. Sour to make her upset with you. Yet, she's cut you off.

Cut it short or trim the ends? LOL! I would never cut my hair short and remain in a church that taught against it. Why would I do that? It would bring on so much confusion and hurt.

We went through a church split years ago and had to take a stand against the pastor, who was in sin. 70/30 slit. We were in the 30.

My best friend's husband said this about me, "I am very disappointed in her. I thought she was more spiritual than that." She took her husband's side.

It cut me to the quick! I couldn't eat lunch after the Sunday morning service, I was sick at my stomach. I went into the bedroom to pray and God gave me a song. I said, "God, I don't know all of the words. Would you please show me the whole song?"

That Thursday morning, at Ladies prayer meeting, our speaker said, "God gave me this song on the way here today and I want to sing it to you." It was the song God had given me that past Sunday morning. I can't remember it today, but all it does is show that when we are walking right, God will never leave us.

Don't know why I wanted to tell that.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

So what did he do 'wrong' in your critical estimation: talking about it? Complaining to us? Leaving in the first place? Not sure of the ire he's drawn from some of you. As much as you question him, I question that all the more.

Originally Posted by 192281

This is true you dont know, possibly because you have not read this thread. I only came here to vent because I wanted to make sure i didnt let it build up and let it out to someone at the church. I have only confided in my wife over my feelings...and obviously that is ok.

I would never want to show disrespect to my Pastor or the church. NO matter the feelings they have towards me I very much love them. The UPC church I attend currently has given me an amazing foundation that I will always cherish and be grateful for.

If you say that you have talked to no one and have only come here, than I must believe you or I'd have to say that I don't believe you. And I certainly wouldn't want to have to do that.

[192281]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

If you say that you have talked to no one and have only come here, than I must believe you or I'd have to say that I don't believe you. And I certainly wouldn't want to have to do that.

Again not being disrespectful but it’s not a matter if you believe me or not. I just want you to understand my shock is not at their feelings but more so their actions and the way they are handling their feelings toward me.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Lol - - if this was an isolated incident I would agree with you, but PO - - it's happened to me and I've seen it happen to many others. I've just witnessed it between two UPC churches - one has been forbidden to have anything to do with the other because some the ladies in one church wear pants and cut their hair.

Of course, it's passing judgement. You no longer believe like we do, so you are lost. What else would you call it?

Misdirected concern?

You've reversed it - - 19 hasn't told them they are wrong - he's just saying it's not right for him. They are the ones telling him he's lost now.

My point is that if these people believe this is truth to them, how can that be passing judgment? How can they NOT think he is wrong and not share that with him? He's family, as has been stated? Right? Families can get really angry over stuff. lol

They aren't allowed to say that they think he is wrong? Why not?

He told them they are wrong by leaving. He doesn't have to say it.

I'm not saying he is wrong for leaving. He should leave, but I think it's ridiculous to think someone isn't going to get upset over it, especially, since he was a leader and had been with them for any length of time.

I think people should be understanding and compassionate, but when someone feels strongly that you are wrong, they are just going to voice that and they are going to be upset. It's a no-brainer.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by 192281

Again not being disrespectful but it’s not a matter if you believe me or not. I just want you to understand my shock is not at their feelings but more so their actions and the way they are handling their feelings toward me.

So, at the root, why are their feelings toward you like this? What is going on in their minds?

[192281]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

So, at the root, why are their feelings toward you like this? What is going on in their minds?

NO NO NO....not why do they feel the way they do but why in the world do they as "heaven bound Christians” publicly bash me and my family for our decisions. It’s ok to disagree with us but it’s not ok to say hurtful and mean things to us, others in the church, and to my family. If you dont like what we are doing that is fine but I can’t imagine God being ok with the way they are handling it...GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY for us if you are that worried...Don't go tell my aunt, cousin, pastor, neighbor and whoever else that Im going to Hell and God will never use me at a different church...

and if they think Im wrong with what Im doing thats fine but how can they look in the mirror and think what they are doing is ok???

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by 192281

Ok if you want to use the word disappoint then that is the one I will use.

I am so disappointed that the people I love and hold very dear to my heart would treat me like someone who has murdered their children and condemn me to a life of Hell because I MIGHT chose to live a life differently than them.
I understand their feelings and I understand they are confused by what Im doing but Im just DISAPPOINTED they would take it to the level of publicly bashing me and saying hurtful things to me and my wife.

This is a good post. Yes, being disappointed hurts and it hurts bad.

And, yes, they are confused and hurt by your decision. Things they hold dear are not important to you and your wife anymore. They can't fathom that. They can't see living any other way. It's just what it is.

Time will go by, you will live, things will fade, you will find new friends and life will go on.

[mizpeh]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

It's a no-brainer.

Yep.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by 192281

NO NO NO....not why do they feel the way they do but why in the world do they as "heaven bound Christians” publicly bash me and my family for our decisions. It’s ok to disagree with us but it’s not ok to say hurtful and mean things to us, others in the church, and to my family. If you dont like what we are doing that is fine but I can’t imagine God being ok with the way they are handling it...GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY for us if you are that worried...Don't go tell my aunt, cousin, pastor, neighbor and whoever else that Im going to Hell and God will never use me at a different church...

and if they think Im wrong with what Im doing thats fine but how can they look in the mirror and think what they are doing is ok???

Again, it is a hurtful time for you. You have made a decision to follow another way. Go and do it. Just remember that for these people, this is shocking because it's a heaven or hell issue for them. That's intense.

They are going to be upset about it. And some are going to get really ugly, which is also unfortunate. You aren't going to change them. Not everyone that goes to church has a prayer life, but I'm sure you already found that out. LOL!

If you grow in more patience and understanding through this, as I am sure you will, and some on the other side will too as time goes by, you will have all gained in some way. Some won't learn a thing, but that can't be our worry.

[POWERUP]

19,

I will be honest with you. I was not shocked at people being upset about my leaving or stepping down. But, I was a little surprised at the attitude of some of my family.

What was funny, was that my cousins were badmouthing me behind my back, and
they were doing the same things I was doing!!

We played in the choir together, traveled together to minister and sing. All of this
for 20 plus years!

My first step was I finally got the nerve to go and talk to Pastor. I will never forget
that day. When I left his office I thought I had been shot by a missle in the Gut! I
remember getting back in my company truck, and just crying like a baby! a big Baby!

We had a good conversation. He asked me why all of a sudden the change. I told
him that I didnt believe in the traditional standards.

And it was not over night. About 6 yrs. to be exact! Before I left I asked him to show
me where it was a sin.

He couldn't. He is no dummy either. In reality, no one can show you. He just said, thats
the way it is.

He didnt ask me to step down. I stepped down on my on. Sit on the pew for about 4
months, while praying for God to give me a plan.

I couldn't get on the platform, but they sure asked me every service to pray for someone.

Me and Pastor get along to this day. He is my moms brother...........Didnt see that
coming did you?

I have visited a few times since I left(3 to be exact) He always ask me to testify(Thats
irony Huh?)

If you do leave. Don't leave with a bad spirit. Hold your head up whether they give
you thier blessing or not. Don't be cocky!

Trust me. I don't regret my decesion.