HELP...What's a Church To Do?

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by lilanastasia

It has been diagnosed by a doctor, but he refuses to take the medicine (old school mentality I suppose).

The pastor is the type of pastor that will not allow "dual" control, and the son knows this and will not take the church. Believe me...we would have wanted that.

Then the church board and/or the son needs to contact the district board, if the local presbyter won't do anything. Letters from saints (especially anonymous emails) probably won't accomplish anything. There will have to be names and faces attached. And lengthy, factual explanations with evidence to back up what you're saying.

Keep praying, and encourage others to show love and respect for the older minister, regardless of what he says or does. There is no way to get around hurting his feelings, so its best to make sure everything you and other saints do is completely upright, respectful, kind & considerate. I don't even know the family, and it hurts me to think of hurting the pastor (and his wife) in this way.

[commonsense]

No great words of wisdom, but have had relatives that were diagnosed with dementia. It's a tough call. They can be combative and unpredictable, even though that was not their true personality. Usually need medical care!

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by commonsense

No great words of wisdom, but have had relatives that were diagnosed with dementia. It's a tough call. They can be combative and unpredictable, even though that was not their true personality. Usually need medical care!

Me too.

[Elizabeth]

This is really a sad situation, it's really hard to make any kind of judgment call without knowing these folks, it's impossible to know what the man could be thinking and feeling.

As stated above it has to be handled with kit gloves and a whole lot of love. My bet his family will play a big part of what happens, patiences is indeed a virtue.

[CC1]

Originally Posted by Felicity

Pray!

I agree.

I also agree that if the church is affiliated that the District should be contacted although upon doing that the person or persons doing so should be prepared to leave the church if need be since many times preachers stick together and the District might just think these saints are just disgruntled troublemakers.

[lilanastasia]

Originally Posted by CC1

I agree.

I also agree that if the church is affiliated that the District should be contacted although upon doing that the person or persons doing so should be prepared to leave the church if need be since many times preachers stick together and the District might just think these saints are just disgruntled troublemakers.

This is true...it's possible that the church board members may have this mentality that no one will "touch" the situation because of who the pastor is and because of the ties he has with many, many ministers.

We just keep praying and hoping that his wife will talk him into retiring but it doesn't seem like that's in the near future. She seems as stubborn as him...ha!

Originally Posted by lilanastasia

Has anyone ever been in the following situation:

• Church is UPC and affiliated...

• Pastor is currently 78 and suffering from dementia...

• Church does not have an Assistant Pastor, by choice from the pastor...

• Church does have a board, but ultimately does not have any "power"...

• Pastor's son has approached the pastor about his condition and the
concerns with the church - pastor rebuked the son and told him not to
disrespect him again...

• Church has lost of couple of families, but for the most part, everyone is
still there. Saints want to be loyal, but are getting edging and don't
know where to turn...

• Because of the pastor's dementia, there are times when speakers,
service leaders, specials, etc. are double booked...

• Pastor's wife supports the pastor, even though it is most likely in the
worst interests of the church body...

• Pastor continually chides and "puts down" the church body, even after
a tremendous worship service or an outpouring of the Spirit...

That is not all that happens, but it paints a good picture.

Help...looking for some suggestions on how to keep up morale, where to go from here, anything...

THANKS!

Find a new church.

Call the presbyter, that's WHY the church is affliated.

[Jehoram]

If this is who I think it is, I can say that this church wouldn't even exist if it weren't for the efforts of this pastor to rescue it about twenty years ago. He stepped in at a very dark time.

How soon we forget!

I will continue to pray for your situation.

[deltaguitar]

This is typical. We went through the same thing less than a year ago. Result. Church of 200 split right down the middle when the elder pastor's family decided that things hadn't been done right.