Funeral denied

[Real Realism]

Originally Posted by strait shooter

I pastor a church....and to be honest with you our building is not a public venue that is up for rent or use by the community. We dont rent it out or let folks use it for weddings, services, funerals, or anything for that matter. It is for church use and church use only. The only weddings, funerals or whatever that are allowed there are of folks that are members.

I am sorry if folks dont like that but it is too bad. I learned a long time ago that if you let it be used for all kinds of things, all kinds of things will go on in it. It is not a funeral home, a wedding chapel, or a rental hall.....it is an Apostolic, Pentecostal Oneness church and that is what it is going to be used for.

Now as far as the situation that was mentioned here, since I dont know all the facts....and there are always other sides to a story...I am not willing to pass judgment on this mans humanity or his pastoring.

What about the possibility of ministering to the family members and friends of a "non-member" in their time of loss? What a great excuse to gather a bunch of non-believers in one place and teach them about Jesus and his sacrifice. It can be done in a tasteful way, without completely co-opting the funeral service.

My current church is "Apostolic Pentecostal Oneness", and we have funerals for anyone loosely associated with the church who's family desires it. Our ministers see it as an opportunity to show love, compassion, and Jesus to the hurting of this world.

What's more important? Keeping your building full of "holy" people? Or making it a venue for the lost to find Jesus? Hmm....

[allstate1]

Originally Posted by strait shooter

I pastor a church....and to be honest with you our building is not a public venue that is up for rent or use by the community. We dont rent it out or let folks use it for weddings, services, funerals, or anything for that matter. It is for church use and church use only. The only weddings, funerals or whatever that are allowed there are of folks that are members.

I am sorry if folks dont like that but it is too bad. I learned a long time ago that if you let it be used for all kinds of things, all kinds of things will go on in it. It is not a funeral home, a wedding chapel, or a rental hall.....it is an Apostolic, Pentecostal Oneness church and that is what it is going to be used for.

Now as far as the situation that was mentioned here, since I dont know all the facts....and there are always other sides to a story...I am not willing to pass judgment on this mans humanity or his pastoring.

So if one of your long time members child dies you would also deny funeral??

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Real Realism

What about the possibility of ministering to the family members and friends of a "non-member" in their time of loss?

This was the whole point to me. Her poor mother was turned away by her own church and pastor in her time of need.

[allstate1]

I always thought the church building was a tool for ministry. My grandfather was a pastor for years, I have 6 cousins who are pastors, 5 are Pentecostal and 1 Baptist! I have never heard of a funeral service being denied! The post about the church being used as only a church seems as if someone fell in love with a church building instead of Jesus!!

[Steve Epley]

Honestly I have never heard of denying a funeral. I have preached multitudes of funerals for non members of relatives through the years. Now weddings are different I am not performing weddings for anyone not members or allowing them to use the church.

[deacon blues]

Funerals and weddings are some of the best opportunities to reach people who would never come to hear preaching in a regular church service. We've had people join our church as a result of allowing funerals and weddings in our building. We also host early voting in our area and we have literally tens of thousands of people walk through our doors to vote. We have had people visit and join as a result. I see our building as a multiple-purpose, multiple-function facility that is for use to as many as we can offer it to. We don't charge for funerals but we do charge rental fees for nonmembers for weddings or other functions. We have said no to other functions that were a stretch, but those are few and far between. Anytime we can get people in the doors we feel like there's a chance we can make some kind of impact. They walk in and see our posters and flyers and ads for upcoming events etc. Sometimes they show up later. Missed opportunity to say no in my opinion.

[n david]

As was mentioned, it's certainly within his purview or right to make the decisions regarding funerals or marriages to non-members. Should he have done this out of respect to the deceased's mother who was a member? Perhaps. However, I'm not going to speak ill of the man, say he's a sorry human being for denying the funeral, or hope the church he pastors goes under.

My Pastor has officiated funerals for non-members in the past. Just a few months ago, a local public elementary school we sponsor asked if he would meet the family of a child who died. None of them were members or had ever come to the church. My Pastor met with them, officiated the funeral, opened the church to the family and friends for the post-funeral gathering and had several men and women from the church make food for them. I thought it was an incredible gesture of love and compassion.

But again, I'm not going to fault this Pastor's decision; neither should anyone else.

[Real Realism]

Under what circumstances should we fault pastors for poor judgment and displays of behavior that lack compassion?

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Real Realism

What about the possibility of ministering to the family members and friends of a "non-member" in their time of loss? What a great excuse to gather a bunch of non-believers in one place and teach them about Jesus and his sacrifice. It can be done in a tasteful way, without completely co-opting the funeral service.

My current church is "Apostolic Pentecostal Oneness", and we have funerals for anyone loosely associated with the church who's family desires it. Our ministers see it as an opportunity to show love, compassion, and Jesus to the hurting of this world.

What's more important? Keeping your building full of "holy" people? Or making it a venue for the lost to find Jesus? Hmm....

I would say it's up to a given pastor and the convictions God has given him for that specific congregation.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by ILG

This was the whole point to me. Her poor mother was turned away by her own church and pastor in her time of need.

It certainly might look that way and might be the case here. However, a church can support a grieving family member in other ways without hosting the funeral itself.