Ministering to the Transgendered

[AreYouReady?]

If I were a male and married what I thought was a woman, and assuming she did not tell me that she used to be a he and is now a she, I would consider that to be deception on the he-she's part.

This next portion is just my thoughts, not being critical nor accepting of this situation.

I cannot imagine the shock the husband felt when he found out. I cannot imagine the pastor's shock when he was told what the couple's issues were.

I would think that if the husband could not come to grips about his "wife's" original male gender, it is quite possible that he learned it after marriage. Had he learned it before, perhaps he would not have had the issues he currently has or may have just realized the predicament they are spiritually in. It is quite possible that before they come to know Christ, he thought nothing about it, but became convicted of the entire nature of this situation after his conversion.

I agree with CC1 that I highly doubt that the surgery could be reversed as I think that the one having the surgery is counseled beforehand by the physician that it would be permanent.

A biblical marriage (what God hath joined together) and a legally binding marriage are two different things. Back in biblical times, a marriage contract was made between families and government had nothing to with it. Once a man and woman had sexual relations, they 'consummated' their marriage and it was final. For divorce, all that was required by Moses was a writ of divorce into her hand from the husband. Today, a couple must go through the government's legal steps application (permission or license) to marry or to the courts to obtain divorce. In the government's legal process, God has nothing to do with it's laws concerning marriage. A couple could go through the biblical method of marriage, but the property they acquired during the union would not be subject to legal marital protection once they decide to split unless deeds and property were in both names. Sad, but true.

So the question would be for this couple....did God join these hands together in marriage?

Now I would think that if the husband found out after they married that she used to be a he and he was having issues with the marital bed and just could not reconcile himself to that thought or act once he knew the truth, then why should any pastor counsel for them to remain legally married when originally she was a he and did not tell her mate beforehand? Why should a man be bound in a marriage that started out deceptively in the worse way? I am thinking that genetically, she still is a he and is only considered by a secular court to be female through artificial means. (estrogen, surgically altered)

Is a person bound by a marital vow in the eyes of God that was deceptively and subtly and for lack of a better word, coerced? (Somebody please provide a better word) Is it really a vow if he was under the impression that he was marrying a genuine female?

If it is a case where he had no strong feelings about it and knew he would be marrying a transgendered person, then became spiritually convicted after his conversion, would God hold that against them if they divorced? That would be something that the two of them, along with prayer to God would have to seek His face about what to do. No man put them into this situation and no man can counsel them out of this situation.

[canam]

start a transgender church watch it double eevry year

[ILG]

I would not blame a person for divorcing in this situation. I think it should be their choice.

[AreYouReady?]

What a mixed up world we live in.




http://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/t...legal-planning

[Titus2woman]

Originally Posted by ILG

I would not blame a person for divorcing in this situation. I think it should be their choice.

I do not blame anyone for divorcing ever. It's again one of those things that they have to reconcile with God not with me. If someone seeks my counsel about divorce that has not yet taken place I try to help them with the biblical view of divorce, then they must decide. If it has already taken place and reconciliation is not possible there is forgiveness at the cross.

The deception is huge on many levels if this husband was not aware before the marriage but there are just so many things we do not know such as was this person willfully transgendered or did she undergo an operation or series of operations in childhood to turn her genitalia into something recognizable as female gender from something neither male nor female? Either way the husband had a right to know and for me the deception is a much larger problem then the genitals.

Sadly I've met a young woman who was not told by her parents until just before she was to marry that she had been surgically resexed to female in childhood, when she disclosed to her fiancee, he left her.

This is not nearly so rare as many people think.

[AreYouReady?]

What a sad situation for this person not to have known before she fell in love. This was way beyond her control. But, she did the right thing by telling her fiancé before they married. And now she needs the time to sort out her own feelings.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by houston

Um... do you really want to know?

The penis is inverted. Nerves are kept intact. The intimacy is "real." Adams apple is shaved.

Want more details?

That wasn't necessary. Good grief.

[Dordrecht]

A "transgendered" person is someone who is undergoing the change from one sex to another. They have either completed the process, or are in the middle of a series of surgeries to complete the process of changing from one gender to another.

With that said...

A pastor friend of mine shared with me a time when he was approached by a couple on his church who had been faithful members for a number of years. This couple was a model example of Christian virtue. They were active in the church, and well respected.

One day, the couple come to the pastor for a private meeting. In this meeting it is revealed that Mrs. So-And-So is really a man who went through a change several years prior to being a woman. This was a secret that the couple had for a number of years.

As to when the husband found out that his "wife" used to be a guy was not relayed to me, but the pastor did tell me that the couple were having issues, because the husband could not come to grips with the fact that his wife was a transgendered person (used to be another man). Now, the couple was locked in a legally binding marriage.

You came up with this story for discussion sake, right?
Because I don't believe this really happened.
Sorry.

[Titus2woman]

Originally Posted by Dordrecht

You came up with this story for discussion sake, right?
Because I don't believe this really happened.
Sorry.

Do you often call people liars? Generally if someone poses a question about something just for conversations sake they say so...

Also this happens all the time. If he had replaced pastor with 'psychiatrist' would that have made it more real?

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

I do not blame anyone for divorcing ever. It's again one of those things that they have to reconcile with God not with me. If someone seeks my counsel about divorce that has not yet taken place I try to help them with the biblical view of divorce, then they must decide. If it has already taken place and reconciliation is not possible there is forgiveness at the cross.

The deception is huge on many levels if this husband was not aware before the marriage but there are just so many things we do not know such as was this person willfully transgendered or did she undergo an operation or series of operations in childhood to turn her genitalia into something recognizable as female gender from something neither male nor female? Either way the husband had a right to know and for me the deception is a much larger problem then the genitals.

Sadly I've met a young woman who was not told by her parents until just before she was to marry that she had been surgically resexed to female in childhood, when she disclosed to her fiancee, he left her.

This is not nearly so rare as many people think.

Yeah. Sad.