Have you ever been mad at God?

[Mercy]

I think about that sometimes....how would he had lived had I died and he was spared. Would he had been able to just live without all the "stuff" and grow up normal.

I know Jesus cares....and I know He is patient and merciful since I am still here, cuz he could have given up on me a loooonnnggg time ago.

Just difficult to develop a "relationship" with Him. Not as an excuse (cuz I am not one of "them") but I grew up in a very strict pentecostal atmosphere, and I was never taught how to have relationships (with any authority figure)...just to obey the rules. So its hard to view Jesus as a friend, because he is the ultimate authority, ya know? And since I know He knows all that is within me it makes it even more difficult to think we can have a real relationship. Does that make sense? Would you try hard to befriend someone that really didnt like you? (just an analogy...I like Jesus )

We'll see.

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Mercy,

Your fiance who died; what would he tell you? There is a best friend closer than he was...Jesus also has a word for you...when you are ready to let me heal you.

Praying for you,
Rhoni

[Mercy]

Ok I responded to the other one before I saw this one. You can PM me. I think I am sweating with all this transparency myself.

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Mercy,

Healing is a process...I know you know this...I have read your posts and you have a lot of insight. Many times we fail to see what is right before our eyes because we have a pre-conceived expectation as to what our healing, and what God will do, and it is not really what God wants or has in store for us.

I don't know if God deals with you as he does with me, but when I pray about a situation he immediately slams doors in my face. He does it because I am so stupid sometimes and if he doesn't just get in my face I will fall into a pit out of naivity, or slip into the pit because someone pushes me into it. Then again I get so tired of waiting that I demand to be put into a pit by a wrong choice that I purposely make.

I could give you an example: Never mind. I will do it privately if you want it. Those who would have my head on a platter would get too much mileage out of my transparency so I shall refrain.

Look outside your box. Trust God even if it doesn't look like you expect it to look.

Blessings, Rhoni

[Rhoni]

Mercy,

Many of us are Recovering Ultra-conservative Apostolics.

[Mercy]

Funny.

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Mercy,

Many of us are Recovering Ultra-conservative Apostolics.

[Rhoni]

[nahkoe]

Um yeah. I'm a current vote. And it's stupid. But it's what it is. This isn't the first time I've been mad at God (although possibly the stupidest reason...really) and I'm sure not the last time.

Originally Posted by Rhoni

One of the things that it took me so long to admit [why I was so long in therapy] was that I was mad at God. I was taught never to question men of authority and absolutely never to question God.

My male therapist [graduated to a male therapist as I healed] asked me almost every session if I was mad at God and I would vehemently say, "No, I am not mad at God, if it hadn't been for Him I would have died, or at least sank into extreme depression." After badgering me with this question time and again; I finally said, "You are darn right I am mad at God. He could have fixed this and He didn't."

[Mercy]

Its funny cuz when ever I talk about being mad at God when I have to say it out loud I say its stupid...but that never stops me from being mad. Weird huh?

Originally Posted by nahkoe

Um yeah. I'm a current vote. And it's stupid. But it's what it is. This isn't the first time I've been mad at God (although possibly the stupidest reason...really) and I'm sure not the last time.

Originally Posted by Rhoni

One of the things that it took me so long to admit [why I was so long in therapy] was that I was mad at God. I was taught never to question men of authority and absolutely never to question God.

My male therapist [graduated to a male therapist as I healed] asked me almost every session if I was mad at God and I would vehemently say, "No, I am not mad at God, if it hadn't been for Him I would have died, or at least sank into extreme depression." After badgering me with this question time and again; I finally said, "You are darn right I am mad at God. He could have fixed this and He didn't."

when I was a child and being abused I would pray for God to show me a sign that He was there, and to help me, but nothing changed, so I didn't believe He existed or if He did he didn't care about me!

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Mercy,

Many of us are Recovering Ultra-conservative Apostolics.

Isn't it wonderful....I thank God everyday that I was set free!

[Mercy]

Would you share how you "changed your mind" about Him being there? If you dont want to I understand. It is encouraging to hear people speak of overcoming more than Jesus paying your bills.

Originally Posted by Sister Truth Seeker

when I was a child and being abused I would pray for God to show me a sign that He was there, and to help me, but nothing changed, so I didn't believe He existed or if He did he didn't care about me!