HELP! What does it mean to turn the other cheek???

[OneAccord]

No, I think its very RIGHT to say something. Often, a person doesn't know their actions or words are offensive. They don't know they might be hurting someone. By speaking up, you not only stop them from hurting you, but you make them aware of their words and/or actions. Keeps them from continuing the trend. I actually think its more wrong to "suffer in silence" then it is to allow the person to continue what they are doing.

Originally Posted by Jeanie

In so many words you agree that there is nothing wrong with saying something-

This is a good way of doing it though.

[RevDWW]

In my little one room school of thought, I believe Jesus was teaching a principal with the "turn the other cheek" lesson, that would help us understand that we determine our response to the things that come against us and not let the circumstance or natural reflex determine the reaction.

[OneAccord]

And I think you have a very big school of thought. Very good point!

Originally Posted by RevDWW

In my little one room school of thought, I believe Jesus was teaching a principal with the "turn the other cheek" lesson, that would help us understand that we determine our response to the things that come against us and not let the circumstance or natural reflex determine the reaction.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Jeanie

This is really good. thanks.

That last statement sums it up pretty good, especially using the word "martyr" really makes me think.

I guess as a "sympathetic" listener I can only tolerate hearing all the verbal abuse that is flying around this person for so long, (umm 13 yrs.) Its like come on already....why not say something in return?

Especially when this person gets sick, depressed ect.

But thanks, you can not force someone, I am going to drop it.

I hear you. One of the most irritating things can be listening to someone complain and vent and cry about their troubles, and then when you offer a real solution, they back off, defend their abuser, and minimize what is happening.

I don't think its really all that noble to martyr yourself just for the sake of doing it. Its almost like doing penance for something. I'm not sure I buy that its out of obedience to God, either (at least, not in every situation). I would be of the opinion that its fear--of losing the relationship or something similar.

Now, here's something you can do...if hearing about it is stressing you, you can choose to have a different conversation, steer it in a different direction, invest your sympathies and wisdom elsewhere. Or you can just take the position of being a listener, and don't waste your creative juices. Some folks do just need to vent, and it can keep them from going insane while they take years to figure out what to do. It can also make their friends go insane. LOL.

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by revrandy

Jeanie...

Some people will never change...and we can accept them or ignore them...

I would encourage the hurt one to ignore...because you and I both know (I think) the sum of an apology is a sign of weakness to both parties... and neither would come close to admitting they were weak...

and that is a weak spot with both parties concerning their character...

imo...

You think, instead of letting the words of you know who to you know who should just be taken with a grain of salt then?

Randy it just seems like common sense if someone says to you "Your an idiot" to respond "that wasnt a very nice thing to say"

Instead of getting sick, saying "I have to pray" or "God is working on me- wouldn't the above be a whole lot easier?

But yes sometimes you just got to ignore some folks.

[RevDWW]

Originally Posted by Jeanie

You think, instead of letting the words of you know who to you know who should just be taken with a grain of salt then?

Randy it just seems like common sense if someone says to you "Your an idiot" to respond "that wasnt a very nice thing to say"

Instead of getting sick, saying "I have to pray" or "God is working on me- wouldn't the above be a whole lot easier?

But yes sometimes you just got to ignore some folks.

Nothing wrong with telling someone "that wasn't a nice thing to say", and doing so with a postive attitude and showing love toward the offending individual.

By the way 'love' does not necessarily equal 'like'. There can be folks that are loved, but not liked very much.

[revrandy]

Originally Posted by Jeanie

You think, instead of letting the words of you know who to you know who should just be taken with a grain of salt then?

Randy it just seems like common sense if someone says to you "Your an idiot" to respond "that wasnt a very nice thing to say"

Instead of getting sick, saying "I have to pray" or "God is working on me- wouldn't the above be a whole lot easier?

But yes sometimes you just got to ignore some folks.

Yes... I have found many times a Non-Response is the best response... somethings when you get to a point of understanding who the person offending is...just isn't worth worrying about.. Pray for them... but distance is best... because unless God intervenes they will never change...

What I have seen of late is they are waxing worse & worse and will probably drive everybody away from them... and maybe then and only then in their loneliness they may come to understand the problem wasn't everybody else but themselves... but it will take time...

and they may never change...

Bitterness always begats Bitterness...

Brush it off..Appreciate what God has given you.. and get on with Life... is my advice...

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I hear you. One of the most irritating things can be listening to someone complain and vent and cry about their troubles, and then when you offer a real solution, they back off, defend their abuser, and minimize what is happening.

I don't think its really all that noble to martyr yourself just for the sake of doing it. Its almost like doing penance for something. I'm not sure I buy that its out of obedience to God, either (at least, not in every situation). I would be of the opinion that its fear--of losing the relationship or something similar.

Now, here's something you can do...if hearing about it is stressing you, you can choose to have a different conversation, steer it in a different direction, invest your sympathies and wisdom elsewhere. Or you can just take the position of being a listener, and don't waste your creative juices. Some folks do just need to vent, and it can keep them from going insane while they take years to figure out what to do. It can also make their friends go insane. LOL.

Exactly, that is what I call regilous thinking. To make someone else's ill manners some sort of spiritual purification on another person is just pure rubbish.

We all need to vent time to time, I do my self and many times people dont want a "fix" they just want to be heard and sympathized with.

Many habits we have dealing with relationships is passed down from generation to generation and has never been dealt with, talked about and confronted as probably not the best way to live our lives.

When we lose sleep, throw up all night long have no peace something is wrong!!

But if no one will talk about it, how can insanity stop??

If it does come up again, I am going to handle it a different way for sure.

You have a lot of wisdom for your young age!

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by RevDWW

Nothing wrong with telling someone "that wasn't a nice thing to say", and doing so with a postive attitude and showing love toward the offending individual.

By the way 'love' does not necessarily equal 'like'. There can be folks that are loved, but not liked very much.

I agree!

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by revrandy

Yes... I have found many times a Non-Response is the best response... somethings when you get to a point of understanding who the person offending is...just isn't worth worrying about.. Pray for them... but distance is best... because unless God intervenes they will never change...

What I have seen of late is they are waxing worse & worse and will probably drive everybody away from them... and maybe then and only then in their loneliness they may come to understand the problem wasn't everybody else but themselves... but it will take time...

and they may never change...

Bitterness always begats Bitterness...

Brush it off..Appreciate what God has given you.. and get on with Life... is my advice...

That is what is happening.

No one wants to be around that person from what I understand.

I personally do not have any problems with this person and actually like them-

They just have a poor way of resolving issues--but you know you are probably right this person isnt going to change so why let them make you sick.