I love how we all want to tell people the fix though, instead of relating to their pain. I've been through this. I WAS a primary leader. I "knew." But I didn't really. I didn't realize how ugly the whole ordeal could be. I got plenty of crotch kicks by people like Ferd. Insensitive, skeptical remarks. For some reason, I had to have a full jury to explain my situation. It was ALL MY FAULT. I was given good advice on how to go forward, and I had to be reminded from time to time, because the pain of the situation was sometimes overwhelming. God had to remind me I wasn't alone. Everyone was so defensive for this church. Even those who were trying to help, there was always some slant and inquisition about things.
I just find it outrageous to start off a response to this brother with "You are silly. I don't believe you. Man up."
Many of us have been in this situation. The funny thing is is how angry "we" can get over the way we handled it at the time. Once your a few years past the ordeal "we" can start giving ourselves Denozo head slaps for not "manning up" ourselves and actually standing up to most or all of the intimidation and for letting it bother us in the first place. It falls into the "If only we knew then what we know now" catagory. I believe some of us are just giving advice based on the way "we" wished we would have dealt with our own situation.
Let me give a tid bit of advice. Wherever you decide to attend church. Do it with
all your heart!!
Trust me. There will be people out there hoping you fail. So they can stand over
you and gloat!!
You will then hear those famous words................I told you so.
So my advice to you............Don't look back, and don't get bitter!! Also
if you are waiting on them to understand you.............It will never happen.
MissPalindrome, would you go another step and think that they are lost or even worse say it to others? I hope that you wouldn't. No one knows what is going on in a persons heart/mind. Sometimes one has to fake until they make it, but faking it can become reality if the fake is on too long. You can fake yourself into thinking things are great then one day you wake up and you are not the same authentic person you should have stayed.
I'm not a gossip, so the answer is an emphatic no. However, I have expressed concern for people before, mostly to my husband. Obviously people can do things that make you fear they're on the wrong track. I'm not really sure about your point, but generally there are things people can do that can make others concerned about their ultimate salvation. Sometimes those things are obvious, and other times it can be subtle. Of course I have expressed worry about people. Is there something wrong with that?
Quote:
I was a youth pastor and the leadership asked me to teach about standards and I told them that it wasn't my job but the parents job to do. My job as a youth pastor is to echo what the parents teach....
I totally disagree with your stance on this. If you are representing the church, then your job is to represent the doctrines and teachings of the church. If something the church teaches is out of line with what parents teach in their home, it is their job to clarify it to their children. If the church asks you to teach something that you can't in good conscience pass along, then respectfully declining is the way to go.
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
Exactly! I know what worked. He helped me through it too! But I also know how helpless someone can feel in the moment. I've never said he should return anyting with evil, so where did you interject that from?
Regarding emotions, I guess I disagree. The whole "mood is a choice" has some truth, but read about color and music pyschology, there's plenty of subconcsious factors at work about our subconscious mood. It's a choice once I'm aware. Ever been angry and lashed out? A few moments into the lashing you realized you were being an idiot then you changed your approach? That's a choice.
Like I said, the emotion is involuntary, but the reaction can be chosen.
in·vol·un·tar·y [in-vol-uhn-ter-ee] Show IPA
–adjective
1.
not voluntary; independent of one's will; not by one's own choice: an involuntary listener; involuntary servitude.
2. unintentional; unconscious: an involuntary gesture.
3.
Physiology . acting independently of or done or occurring without volition: involuntary muscles.
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
Yes and thats fine but its in how they handle it that matters.
If you understand that they think you are lost by going to a church that doesn't teach the same doctrine, then perhaps, you can look past some of the things they say, knowing why they say them, and show them love and pray the very best God has for them. You have to give an account for your attitude and actions not theirs.
__________________
His banner over me is LOVE.... My soul followeth hard after thee....Love one another with a pure heart fervently. Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?
To be a servant of God, it will cost us our total commitment to God, and God alone. His burden must be our burden... Sis Alvear
However, I have expressed concern for people before, mostly to my husband. Obviously people can do things that make you fear they're on the wrong track. I'm not really sure about your point, but generally there are things people can do that can make others concerned about their ultimate salvation. Sometimes those things are obvious, and other times it can be subtle. Of course I have expressed worry about people. Is there something wrong with that? 
My soul followeth hard after thee....Love one another with a pure heart fervently. 
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