Divorce and Remarriage - Page 12

1ofthechosen · #**111** 07-31-2018, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by berkeley

I motion to go on record and state that I did not send a pm to Aquila. I think it is evident by my posts that I do not like him. That being said, chosen was out of line as his post implies that Aquila knew his ex wife was a swinger before they got married. The tests is quite dramatic and paints quite a picture, typical for REDACTED |||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Ok bro what does this mean "My ex-wife wanted an open marriage."
I don't know about where your from but that's "code"for hey I'm not going to be faithful. And usually when people do say things like that, they tell you ahead of time.

So if I'm wrong, ok. But this topic didn't need to be shared here, anyway. But now that it is, I can understand why he feels the way he does about a civil Union, although if you go into a multi million dollar building deal, and hire a dry cleaner to do the job, you can't be mad it doesn't turn out right. That's all I'm saying.

Evang.Benincasa · #**112** 07-31-2018, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apostolic1ness

I dont think i've ever heard this before.

They aren't fathers in the sense of rulership. We call no man father but Jesus Christ. Who is the head of the bride. We are all brothers as siblings, we interact like a body which when one brother is in pain, we all feel it. When one brother gets honor we rejoice with him. So as an eldership we are treating one another by submitting to one another. Under the headship of our father, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Aquila · #**113** 07-31-2018, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evang.Benincasa

Bro, by your own words we are not to believe you. You posted that you've seen people lie to justify what they went through. Chris, you are a pro and double speak, and sticking your foot in your mouth. Hence my plea for you to quit while you were ahead.

I'm pretty sure that those who aren't caught up in the illusions you're in can understand what I'm saying rather clearly. Perhaps they would be willing to explain it to you.

Evang.Benincasa · #**114** 07-31-2018, 11:28 AM

Husband is a higher position being that the husband is the sole leader in his home. The male ministry preaches and teaches the husbands, the husbands make the decisions at home as to how to implement what their take away was from what they were taught. No man can put asunder what God has joined together, so I have zero right to hold authority over anyone's wife or children. That's the husband and father's job. If there is an issue I must go through the door which is the father and husband. Use to be like that in cultures all over the world including America.

Aquila · #**115** 07-31-2018, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evang.Benincasa

Dude, in the same breath it would disqualify you from being a husband. Since father, and husband are way higher than apostles, prophets; evangelists; pastors and teachers. Because they are patterned after the organization of a household, as siblings under the FATHER Jesus Christ.

A man can be a husband and a father and not even be a believer, EB.

You're grasping, itching to find a scratch. Coloring the waters. Drawing false dichotomies to the extreme. And, you think no one will notice.

Evang.Benincasa · #**116** 07-31-2018, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aquila

I'm pretty sure that those who aren't caught up in the illusions you're in can understand what I'm saying rather clearly. Perhaps they would be willing to explain it to you.

Chris, no illusions, I even asked you to stop. Because it was so fragmented that it made no sense. Logically, you are painting a picture which puts yourself in the trick bag. Also didn't I post you didn't OWE US ANY EXPLANATIONS????
But, you paid no never mind and therefore created more questions than you answered. To top it off you said that there is no innocent party, and then you said we are not to believe anyone who claims innocence. Got the idea?

1ofthechosen · #**117** 07-31-2018, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aquila

My ex-wife and I were high school sweethearts. We married immediately after graduation and I joined the military. We had never known any other. We played by the rules.

We were in church, serving faithfully, for 13 years together before things began to go South.

She was in no way immoral when we were married.

This makes no sense with what you said earlier and what you always claim about her cheating on you. If she was "in no way immoral while you were married", then how do you rectify getting a divorce from her?

Evang.Benincasa · #**118** 07-31-2018, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aquila

A man can be a husband and a father and not even be a believer, EB.

Yes, a man can be an unbeliever and a father. That is why Peter wrote the women if any man be not a believer she was to win him through her CHASTE BEHAVIOR 1 Peter 3:1-2.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aquila

You're grasping, itching to find a scratch. Coloring the waters. Drawing false dichotomies to the extreme. And, you think no one will notice.

It is the Bible. Sorry.

Evang.Benincasa · #**119** 07-31-2018, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by n david

I had to stop here and ask a question, so if this is addressed in the remaining couple of pages, I apologize.

If all divorce and remarriage is a sin, regardless of circumstance; and if all who are participants in divorce and remarriage commit sin, regardless of circumstance...

How do you reconcile Paul writing "shall we continue in sin?"

If remarriage is a sin, then it's a sin. A person can't commit a sin, ask forgiveness and then continue in the sin. Right?

Think this logically.

A person can't commit fornication with someone, ask forgiveness and then keep doing it.

As Paul says, "God forbid!"

By claiming that remarriage is a sin, but it's okay to continue in it if you ask forgiveness is no different than sleeping with the woman next door, going to church to ask forgiveness and then going back to her after the service.

Thank you

Aquila · #**120** 07-31-2018, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1ofthechosen

Ok bro what does this mean "My ex-wife wanted an open marriage."
I don't know about where your from but that's "code"for hey I'm not going to be faithful. And usually when people do say things like that, they tell you ahead of time.

So if I'm wrong, ok. But this topic didn't need to be shared her. But now that it is, I can understand why he feels the way he does about a civil Union, although if you go into a multi million dollar building deal, and hire a dry cleaner to do the job, you can't be mad it doesn't turn out right. That's all I'm saying.

No, I get your point. And you're right.

But we married right out of high school. We played by the rules, and served the church for 13 years before a storm blew in and we found ourselves disenchanted with our leadership and outside of church. It was during this wilderness period of being backslidden that she made friends at her work that were into the lifestyle. She got involved with a woman and her husband before I knew anything was going on. When I caught wind of it and she tearfully opened up to me, confessing everything, pleading for me to be patient and forgiving... I was. I loved her. She wanted an open relationship. I didn't know what to do. I was young and stupid. I thought I could be patient, kind, loving and lover her back home. I was wrong. When I finally demanded that everything come to an end and we return to church for pastoral counseling, she decided to tell me that she loved her lifestyle... and that she wanted a divorce.

When we married, I had no indication that she was into swinging. She was only 20 and I was 21. We were young and stupid. Each our first love.

My point in sharing this was that things can be tremendously complicated in divorce. Those who have never been through it often think it is so easily defined and sorted out. It isn't. In light of this, exception clauses that allow the "innocent party" to remarry without penalty or limitation in leadership cause me pause. There is rarely an "innocent party" in a divorce. And, there are often so many lies, accusations, and distortions throughout the process, I wouldn't ever expect a church to be able to sort through it all and establish an "innocent party".

This is why I believe it best to just classify divorce and remarriage as sin. It is adultery in that it adulterates the first indissoluble union by adding another indissoluble union. Now, this isn't the unpardonable sin. I believe that couples in second marriages can receive restorative and sanctifying grace and mercy, and their second marriage become more blessed than the first. However, I don't believe there is any entitlement to leadership. A man who has been married to two women is clearly not the husband of one wife.