Your experience when you dropped "dress standards"

[Blubayou]

Thank YOu HO for addressing the struggle with judgeing people by thier outward appearance. I to struggle with this. I spent my formative years as a young apostolic in a very judgemental atmosphere. Therefore it became ingrained in my thought patterns. Several years ago, God began to deal with me about judging others and the damage it could do to me and others. I have prayed about it and really worked hard to overcome it. To some extent, I have had some success, but I still find myself judging someone that professing the apostolic experience and not having all of the standards. It happened today!!! I will continue to battle with it. Thank you for your courage in addressing it.

[CC1]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

Mine was about 2 yrs ago, but maybe closer to 1 and 1/2 yrs. It started when for me to be an issue years before though I still followed them out of fear. I did alot of personal devotions and prayer. There was no big flash of light or anything, but just woke up one day put on a pair of shorts and did not feel bad about it. Now I am wearing shorts around my UPC pastor...he does not care too much either. I do go to movies and things, but nothing too much different that before. One thing is for sure that when I started not following the 'dress code' I had to rely on a me and God walk not a me my pastor and God. It was not the easiest of choices, but it certainly was a good one. I wish I could say I feel a ton different and I really don't except for the mindset. I do have a more person walk with God and I do not feel that I have to measure up to anyone but the Lord. I don't have to measure to what some thinks the Lord said, but to what the Lord tells me through prayer, scriptures and revelation from prayer and scripture reading.

Your post made me remember when I first left the UPC after moving to that city with the large exUPC church. I remember the first time I wore a pair of shorts to a church work night where we were working on the video and audio ministry pulling cables, etc. I didn't think anything about it until the famous pastor I held in high esteem showed up and I had a sudden anxitey attack about having shorts on. It was all in my head of course as he didn't give it a second thought. It was truly another instance where my psycholigical conditioning had kicked in big time!

[OneAccord]

Not saying anyone here is judging, but... just a comment from one whose opinions carry about as much weight as helium.

Judging is s real problem... in the ways that you are thinking, and in ways you may not have ever thought of....

I've told this here before... bear with me (this is for the newbies). I was out work one time when a mann had a sizure. A crowd gathered around and a few stooped down to help the man. I was in the back of the crowd and thought how good it was for those men to help him. I judged them to be the "good guys". I was wrong.

Turns out they were only helping themselves- to the mans wallet and other personal belongings. Judging is a two edged sword. We "judge" people as holy who are, in reality, anything but. And we judge people as unholy who may very well one day become Peters assistant at the Gate who says, "No... he/she judged me, Peter, I think they need to spent some time in Purgatory" (As if there is a purgatory)!

I go back to Dr. Kings dream of a day when his children would be judged by the content of their character and not by the color of their skin. I, too, have a dream that one day we (....no, I) will get to the place when we (I) won't judge people at all! I got a long way to go! But, I'm learning, at least, to wait before I judge. I wait for their words, because, it's from the mouth the heart speaks. Our words, not how we look, reveal whats in our hearts.

I disagree with some folks here. I think they are way yonder to liberal on some things. But I don't judge them on that basis. I've read and seen some things outta some of these so-called liberals that show a godiness and a holiness that I only hope and pray to attain someday. The same goes with those who are more conservative than I. That godliness and holiness doesn't come from them- any more than godliness and holiness come from the strickest of the strick ultra-cons. That godliness, that holiness comes... well, we all know Who it comes from!

[freeatlast]

A very wise minister stated, concerning how people dress...it's none of my business.

It's none of your business..it's between God and them.

There is not one STANDARD of modesty.

It's a little different in each one of our minds.

I came from 2 of the most judgmental churches in Pentecost. for closeto thirty years i judged the worth of a sister buy her dress lngth and hair length......I have cried God forgive me.

Today, as the worship leader at our church, I have girls and women on my platform as praise singers with cut hair/ modest amounts of jewelry/ sleeves would be considered not long enough by some and neck lines to low.

I've had female guest singers in slacks.

In the hearts of these people is a great love fr God and thank God, they don't know the judgementalism of old time pentecost.

I and my pastor both wear shorts (knee length) when it's hot and humid

and next time I play Monopoly I'm throwing out my "pentecostal spinner" and rolling the dice. ;-)

[Pragmatist]

Originally Posted by Blubayou

Thank YOu HO for addressing the struggle with judgeing people by thier outward appearance. I to struggle with this. I spent my formative years as a young apostolic in a very judgemental atmosphere. Therefore it became ingrained in my thought patterns. Several years ago, God began to deal with me about judging others and the damage it could do to me and others. I have prayed about it and really worked hard to overcome it. To some extent, I have had some success, but I still find myself judging someone that professing the apostolic experience and not having all of the standards. It happened today!!! I will continue to battle with it. Thank you for your courage in addressing it.

I struggle with this also. I look at people in church and think their clothing is too tight. I was thinking the other night that it looked like one of the ladies trimmed her hair. Now, I trim mine on a regular basis, so why do I care?

[jaxfam6]

One Accord, thank you for your post. That touched me, as many have on this thread.

When it comes to 'standards' I would like to remind everyone of ACTS 15 and especially the following verses.

28For it seemed good to the Holy Ghost, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things;

29That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well.

and also of Philippians 2

12Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

13For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

I think if we all keep these things in mind we will all be able to walk our own walk with God and get along with others too. With my physical family I do not always agree but I still love them and associate with them because they are my family. The same goes with my spiritual family. I may not always agree with you but I love you and will associate with you and will one day spend an eternity giving God praise and glory with you.

[jaxfam6]

Originally Posted by freeatlast

A very wise minister stated, concerning how people dress...it's none of my business.

It's none of your business..it's between God and them.

There is not one STANDARD of modesty.

It's a little different in each one of our minds.

I came from 2 of the most judgmental churches in Pentecost. for closeto thirty years i judged the worth of a sister buy her dress lngth and hair length......I have cried God forgive me.

Today, as the worship leader at our church, I have girls and women on my platform as praise singers with cut hair/ modest amounts of jewelry/ sleeves would be considered not long enough by some and neck lines to low.

I've had female guest singers in slacks.

In the hearts of these people is a great love fr God and thank God, they don't know the judgementalism of old time pentecost.

I and my pastor both wear shorts (knee length) when it's hot and humid

and next time I play Monopoly I'm throwing out my "pentecostal spinner" and rolling the dice. ;-)

Thank God cause I don't think we would want to see you in short shorts.

[HeavenlyOne]

Originally Posted by Blubayou

Thank YOu HO for addressing the struggle with judgeing people by thier outward appearance. I to struggle with this. I spent my formative years as a young apostolic in a very judgemental atmosphere. Therefore it became ingrained in my thought patterns. Several years ago, God began to deal with me about judging others and the damage it could do to me and others. I have prayed about it and really worked hard to overcome it. To some extent, I have had some success, but I still find myself judging someone that professing the apostolic experience and not having all of the standards. It happened today!!! I will continue to battle with it. Thank you for your courage in addressing it.

It's difficult to talk about because I don't want people to misunderstand me. I don't want to be this way, but I can't help it. In fact, I don't even consider myself saved right now because I'm not 'living right'.

I long to attend a church where I can worship God in complete freedom and liberty. Right now, I can't. People just want to pray me through (not that I don't need it anyway).

The UPC is all I know. To me, going elsewhere isn't going to save me. In my mind I think that anyway. It's difficult to explain unless you come from where I come from, right?

I attended a local church I thought was non-denominational but later found out it's Baptist. Anyway, I had a good time, loved the service, the people were wonderful, warm, and welcomed me and my friend that accompanied me, but I never went back. It's like I feel I'm worshipping the trinitarian god or something...and the women with short hair and pants on....like me...well, it's hard for me to take in a church setting where all my life I was taught those people weren't saved.

[StMark]

Originally Posted by HeavenlyOne

It's difficult to talk about because I don't want people to misunderstand me. I don't want to be this way, but I can't help it. In fact, I don't even consider myself saved right now because I'm not 'living right'.

I long to attend a church where I can worship God in complete freedom and liberty. Right now, I can't. People just want to pray me through (not that I don't need it anyway).

The UPC is all I know. To me, going elsewhere isn't going to save me. In my mind I think that anyway. It's difficult to explain unless you come from where I come from, right?

I attended a local church I thought was non-denominational but later found out it's Baptist. Anyway, I had a good time, loved the service, the people were wonderful, warm, and welcomed me and my friend that accompanied me, but I never went back. It's like I feel I'm worshipping the trinitarian god or something...and the women with short hair and pants on....like me...well, it's hard for me to take in a church setting where all my life I was taught those people weren't saved.

why can't you just wear your hair up and wear a skirt? is it such a big price to pay to be
apart of a fellowship that you long to be apart of???
I don't advocate hypocricy, but since you only attend the church and are not active,
who is going to know you are wearing pants when you are in the woods hunting ???

[HeavenlyOne]

Originally Posted by StMark

why can't you just wear your hair up and wear a skirt? is it such a big price to pay to be
apart of a fellowship that you long to be apart of???
I don't advocate hypocricy, but since you only attend the church and are not active,
who is going to know you are wearing pants when you are in the woods hunting ???

I cannot wear my hair up. For one thing, it's not long enough. For another, my medical condition won't allow me to wear anything on my head. It gives me headaches, even tiny clips and barrettes.

And that's part of the reason why I don't bother going to church. Don't you think that's sad, Mark? Don't you think it's sad that since I cannot 'pay the price', I feel I have to just avoid church altogether?

I'm not worried about wearing pants when hunting.