Pornography and Disability

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by pelathais

Ya know? It's "Indian Summer" around here right now. It's a great time to be out of doors, walking or hiking, soaking up the rays before the long shadows of winter over takes us.

These "sex threads" just make me want to go and enjoy the sky, the earth and the sun. I've some sort of aversion to pondering the philosophical complexities of "sex with the disabled." It reminds me too much of a joke I heard when I was young about a midget and a Las Vegas hooker.

And Aquila... I want to say something... but how about if you just fast forward to the ending dialog of Men In Black II? That pretty much sums it. Go get 'em tiger.

LOL

Pel, you're too much bro! lol

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by notofworks

I read it and it's very good. The point I'm trying to make is this....porn leads to a variety of problems, and it doesn't just shut people down sexually, although it can certainly do that. The domino effect of it is horrific.

Another problem that is surfacing rapidly is porn addictions among females. I read a study recently that said that up to 30% of porn addicts are female. This is a brand new problem that was almost non-existent two decades ago.

Romance novels have been big with women for decades. I think it's just become visual recently. Of course, if a woman draws a quiet bath, lights candles, and reads a romance novel, ... we give her some privacy. But... if a man browses at something we string him up. lol

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Socialite

Wow... touchy, touchy! Brave and honest yet so defensive. Sheesh!

You had regular interaction with porn (graphic images) you said. Maybe I jumped the gun, but let's not split hairs over how many times a week equals "addiction." I'll instead retract.

"Healthy young man" is how you describe that? Sounds worldly reasoning to me. I'm not attacking you, because we've all dealt with stuff like this, but your response and explanation of it is baffling. Just a man?

I get your question to Coadie, btw. I wasn't debating any of that.

It's all good bro. I say healthy because I think it's healthy for a male to desire a woman, be curious about women, and yes... think about women. Of course if it becomes obssessive or compulsive, we have a serious problem.

However, no one is answering the question. Biologically speaking, if the release of endorphins during visually beholding a picture and experiencing release is like a drug... what's the difference between beholding your wife regularly and experiencing the release? I'm only talking about on a biological level.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Socialite

Still touchy, Aquila. Who has called for anyone to admit anything? You admitted first, now you feel vulnerable and you are going off on everyone. Calm down a bit.

What's the "addict" level? One porn movie a day? Twice a day? Every other day?

Who is pulling the self-righteous card? I think you got your feelings hurt.

I thought you called me an addict. lol

Besides, that was years ago, so no hard feelings really.

I would define addict in terms not specifically related to frequency... but functionality. If it is hindering relationships, work, church, time with family, shaping how one interrelates with the opposite gender... it's obviously a serious problem. But twice a week? Sinful maybe... but not an addict. Just my opinion.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Socialite

Please state your thesis in a single sentence... that it's not sinful to have sexual fantasies about another person who is not your wife?

I'm not sure if I'd go that far. A thought is just a thought. A fantasy... eh, that's a little more involved. I'm primarily thinking about singles, divorcees, widows, and the disabled. A fantasy is merely a fantasy. The lovers in the Song of Solomon fantasized like crazy before they were married. It's normal. However, I think we all can agree that fantasy become "obssession" is a serious problem.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by notofworks

Yeah, and then there's Michael the Arch Angel, or whatever he is, who says that the Apostle Paul said that if a person looks at porn, he can't go to heaven.

lol

We know Paul never said that. Paul said that if a person "cannot contain" it is better to marry than to "burn with passion". If one struggles with their sexual needs either because of the need for release or guilt over it... I agree with Paul. Pray for and seek a spouse.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I think there are a lot of men (and maybe women, too) who minimize how hurtful this is to their spouse. If you're unfaithful with your heart, it's damaging to your relationship. If you do something that hurts your spouse on purpose (meaning you know in advance that they will be hurt by it), even if you feel like it's acceptable, you are damaging your relationship.

I agree. I think that it's important for couples to get counseling. Men and women don't see sex or experience sex the same way. Sometimes women feel a man doesn't "love" them if he has a problem. If the male mind is understood, it can help the wife understand that she truly is his love... he's just struggling with an issue that needs prayer, counsel, and attention.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by notofworks

And it seems so innocent in the early stages.

James talked about having a "Circle of confession". I wish "The Church" were a culture where men (and women, it seems) could be honest about this and be able to say, "I have a problem" without the "Michaels" of this world saying, "You're going to hell."

We need a place where people can be open and honest without being condemned and sat down in our churches.

I've seen that environment in House Church. One meeting I attended the elder asked everyone present to close there eyes and raise their hands if their lives had been touched by the adult entertainment industry... EVERYONE raised their hands. It was an interesting meeting with confessions, affirmations, prayer, and a restoration of a desire for healing.

[Aquila]

I mentioned in a post above that I've been in a meeting where the small group was asked to close their eyes and raise their hands if the adult entertainment industry had touched their lives. To the astonishment of those present, everyone raised their hands.

I wonder how many of us posting here have the scars of having delt with this in our lives? How many are still struggling? How man are struggling and pretending that they aren't?

For me, being single again has opened up a world of struggle I hadn't experienced in years in many areas. It's not easy living holy. Within the past year I've had good days and bad days.

What prayerful, heartfelt testimonies, advice, and comfort can we offer those struggling with this almost universal human issue? How can we view it in a healthy and balanced manner without hyper-spiritualizing and moralizing? How can we offer practical help, prayer, grace, love, and healing to one another and those we might meet in the future who struggle in an area like this?

[Truthseeker]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

Has anyone read "the alter of sexual idalotry"?? I've had the book for a very long time just now started reading it.

Good book so far. Some here woouldn't like some parts dealing with certain things