And now for something completely different... - Page 6

rgcraig · #51 10-26-2010, 05:15 PM

Without reading the other answers, here's mine (today's anyway - it could change).

I think you can be friends with a single guy, BUTyou have to also be aware that if there is chemistry, it will at some point be more than friends. You have to know that up front and decide if you'd be okay with the relationship developing.

As for me - - I just don't want to have to cook dinner every night ever again - - if I want a bowl of Lucky Charms for dinner, I want that option. LOL!

Pro31:28 · #52 10-26-2010, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizzyde

No, no you're not! That is why I put this out there, I really need feed back. You know me, know my life, I am not someone who just lets everything "hang out" so to speak, it was somewhat risky for me to even post this. But I really don't have have anywhere else to go with this, to get somewhat unbiased and truthful advice.

Bottom line is that I really like this person as a friend, and I have begun to suspect that if I let myself I could feel more. And it truly would not be anything remotely resembling convenient for that to happen at this point, for a number of reasons.

And I don't really know if he even would want it.

But I have had some questions about whether or not I am short-changing myself.

So this is all very helpful actually in giving more information to process the situation mentally.

And; you have a beautiful marriage, anyone would be lucky to have what you have (and I am well aware that it doesn't happen by accident, lots of work has gone into it) Kudos to you guys!

Well, I say (and of course I am not sure I could do this), BUT- if you have made the decision to choose dropping the friendship as one of the options, I say lay it all out there, what do you have to lose?

Tell him how you feel, that you have a lot of plans, you are not looking for love, you appreciate the friendship and given the right circumstances, you could be more interested. But for now, you need to do what is most important to you. If he cares enough (as friend or otherwise) he will want to be around to see all of the amazing things that you are gonna do- if its superficial, he will be gone. It is not like you are racing a biological clock or anything,

And thanks for the sweet words... on here he seems like a tough guy, but at home he is a snuggle-bug who would whip the whole world for me

Pro31:28 · #53 10-26-2010, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Without reading the other answers, here's mine (today's anyway - it could change).

I think you can be friends with a single guy, BUTyou have to also be aware that if there is chemistry, it will at some point be more than friends. You have to know that up front and decide if you'd be okay with the relationship developing.

As for me - - I just don't want to have to cook dinner every night ever again - - if I want a bowl of Lucky Charms for dinner, I want that option. LOL!

dizzyde · #54 10-26-2010, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Without reading the other answers, here's mine (today's anyway - it could change).

I think you can be friends with a single guy, BUTyou have to also be aware that if there is chemistry, it will at some point be more than friends. You have to know that up front and decide if you'd be okay with the relationship developing.

As for me - - I just don't want to have to cook dinner every night ever again - - if I want a bowl of Lucky Charms for dinner, I want that option. LOL!

EXactly!!!! Huge part of the equation!!

dizzyde · #55 10-26-2010, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pro31:28

Well, I say (and of course I am not sure I could do this), BUT- if you have made the decision to choose dropping the friendship as one of the options, I say lay it all out there, what do you have to lose?

Tell him how you feel, that you have a lot of plans, you are not looking for love, you appreciate the friendship and given the right circumstances, you could be more interested. But for now, you need to do what is most important to you. If he cares enough (as friend or otherwise) he will want to be around to see all of the amazing things that you are gonna do- if its superficial, he will be gone. It is not like you are racing a biological clock or anything,

And thanks for the sweet words... on here he seems like a tough guy, but at home he is a snuggle-bug who would whip the whole world for me

Thank you sincerely for all of this!!!

Praxeas · #56 10-26-2010, 05:21 PM

Guys today are more sophisticated than before and can make a mean bowl of lucky charms

dizzyde · #57 10-26-2010, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas

Guys today are more sophisticated than before and can make a mean bowl of lucky charms

rgcraig · #58 10-26-2010, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizzyde

Exactly!!!! Huge part of the equation!!

I know and I have had the same exact thoughts you are experiencing (yet, without a guy as a part of the equation).

I had someone ask me if I thought I'd ever marry again. I said, probably not, but then I feel selfish saying that. Would I like to have someone to share things with, yep, but I'm also very happy right now in my life too.

My problem is.....do I say I won't because I THINK I couldn't? So, it's safe to say it first - no, I won't - then I'm not going to be disappointed. Know what I mean? I completely understand your "daughter" theory. There are tons of people out there available much more attractive than me, but I am fun - - ha!!!!

However, I went on to answer that person - - I like coming and going as I please, not fixing dinner all the time, sleeping in my big soft bed without worrying about getting in someone else's space, not looking "good" all the time if I don't feel like it, not talking if I don't feel like it or hanging on AFF when I do feel like it.

Dunno, the guy would have to look at me like I'm the best thing since sliced bread and mean it to make be consider it.

rgcraig · #59 10-26-2010, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas

Guys today are more sophisticated than before and can make a mean bowl of lucky charms

You are right Prax!

My SIL has the perfect setup - - he loves to cook and spoils her and gives her space to do "her thing", but he's there for her and loves her dearly.

Praxeas · #60 10-26-2010, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas

A lot of times,I think, he sends a friends/flirtation stuff because he is interested and testing the waters but there's something holding him back from going further like other interests, thinks you aren't that interested (thats why he's testing the waters) etc, and kinda hopes being friends might open the door to something more

Personally, even if I was not serious about a more than friends relationship, I would not flirt unless there was something about you I found attractive. So there must be something he sees in you if he is flirting

Bump