Then how about lying? If he breaks his vows to his new wife then that is a lie... And theres no way to get around that. Should he lie in order get right with God?
Bro. Frog,
Here's my analogy. Take it for what its worth.
You enter a contract to sell your home. Prior to completion of the sale and transfer of ownership you get a better offer on your house. So you sign another contract to sell your home without being able to void the first one. Which contract is valid. Your original marriage is a contract "until death do us part" because you got a better offer doesn't change the terms of your original contract. You have no business entering into the second marriage. It is unfortunate that the second spouse has been an innocent victim of sin.
“3The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9And I say unto you (THE PHARISEES), Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” - Matthew 19:3-9
The Pharisees asked this question because they were putting their wives away for just any cause and remarrying a “newer model”. Jesus tells them that according to the Law (remember all of this was said under the Law) that if a man puts away his wife for any other cause other than fornication (sexual uncleanness) and marries another, he commits adultery. And whoso marrieth her which is put away for another other cause commits adultery. Jesus wasn’t giving a didactic teaching of the church. His words were a rebuke of their own carnal practices.
Paul said,
“8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. 9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” – I Corinthians 7:8-15
Paul illustrates that there are exceptions to the rule spoken of by Christ under the Law. Essentially if an unbelieving (be they unbelievers or backslidden from the faith because this is unspecified) spouse wishes to divorce, we are to just let them go. A brother or sister isn’t bound to remain single and reconcile in such cases.
We have to have wisdom and grace in these matters.
It appears to me the pharises were looking to justify there illegitimate marriages not the other way around.
Exhibit A would appear to reinforce my position.
1 Cor 7 says a spousse is not bound but there is no implication that remarriage is accepted. That is an argument from silence.
I want the wisdom of the book and I don't want to have more grace than God
...King David was a man after God’s own heart. King David committed adultery with Bathsheba, Uriah’s wife. Afterwards, she discovered that she was with child. King David then had Uriah killed so he could marry Bathsheba. David was both an adulterer and a murderer. David was rebuked and suffered tremendous loss as a repercussion of his actions… but God continued to bless and USE David. In addition God continued to bless the nation for his servant David’s sake for several hundred years afterwards. Even in the book of Revelation Jesus is related to David as both the “root” and “offspring” of David.
...
In Acts 13:22 and 36 David is mentioned favorably by Paul. He mentions God's commendation (not condemnation) of David as a man after God's own hear who "shall fulfill all my will." He also says "served his own generation."
As you mentioned, David committed adultery and then had the husband killed to try to cover up his sin. I'm sure he repented. Psalms 32 and 51 are considered his psalms of repentance. He did not divorce Bathsheba but kept her as a wife. Then, he passed the kingship on to one of her sons instead of to one of his other sons who was born before Bathsheba's son.
Every so often a preacher or singer who has been prominent falls. What do we do? Never listen to their music or never let them preach again? Some believe that they can be restored with God but never used publicly again. I don't believe it that way. Even though they may have caused great scandal and reproach to the name of Christ and to Christianity in general, I think that if God forgives them we should also. I also believe the gifts and callings of God are without repentance and God does not rescind the gift or calling. Even though it may give us a black eye in the sight of the world, I believe these "failures" need to be restored. How does this fit in with "having a good report or reputation from those outside the church"? I'm not sure.
__________________
Sam also known as Jim Ellis
Apostolic in doctrine
Pentecostal in experience
Charismatic in practice
Non-denominational in affiliation
Inter-denominational in fellowship
“3The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9And I say unto you (THE PHARISEES), Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” - Matthew 19:3-9
The Pharisees asked this question because they were putting their wives away for just any cause and remarrying a “newer model”. Jesus tells them that according to the Law (remember all of this was said under the Law) that if a man puts away his wife for any other cause other than fornication (sexual uncleanness) and marries another, he commits adultery. And whoso marrieth her which is put away for another other cause commits adultery. Jesus wasn’t giving a didactic teaching of the church. His words were a rebuke of their own carnal practices.
Paul said,
“8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. 9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” – I Corinthians 7:8-15
Paul illustrates that there are exceptions to the rule spoken of by Christ under the Law. Essentially if an unbelieving (be they unbelievers or backslidden from the faith because this is unspecified) spouse wishes to divorce, we are to just let them go. A brother or sister isn’t bound to remain single and reconcile in such cases.
We have to have wisdom and grace in these matters.
Jesus was asked about whether it was OK to put away a wife for every cause. This reflected different teaching among the Jews. Deut. 24 allowed divorce if a man found "an indecency, a matter" in his wife. From my understanding there were two reasons given there:
1. an indecency
2. a matter
Some rabbis followed Shammai who said it meant "a matter of indecency" and some followed Hillel who said it meant "an indecency or a matter" i.e. "an indecency or any other matter." Those who followed the teaching of Hillel said that the "matter" could be that her voice could be heard by a neighbor or that the husband found someone he liked better.
Jesus quoted the remark of Moses in Genesis 2:24 where he said that a man should leave parents and cleave to his wife. Jesus said that the original intent of God was for one man and one woman forever.
They challenged Him on this and quoted Deut 24 and asked Him why then did God give the option of divorce. Jesus stated it was because of the hardness of their hearts or (in my opinion) human weakness or the fallibility of humankind. In other words, Plan A was one wife and one man forever. Plan B was, well human's may not live up to Plan A so God will allow divorce as Plan B.
Notice that in Deut. 24 the previous spouse is not still called a spouse but a former spouse or we would use the term ex-spouse. Notice also that when Jesus spoke to the woman at the well, He did not say "You have (present tense) 5 husbands" but "You have had (past tense) 5 husbands and the guy you are living with right now is not your husband." He did not tell her to go back and seek reconciliation with husband no. 1 nor did he tell her to either move out or marry the present guy. She was the first person to whom He revealed that He was the Christ/Messiah and she brought about the conversion of most of the town where they knew her.
How do I believe about divorce and remarriage?
Plan A is one man and one woman forever.
Plan B is divorce.
If we fail plan A, we can go to plan B.
It's God's second choice but it is not unforgivable and eternally fatal.
Marriage is a commitment between a man and a woman. It may comply with the civil laws or not. If a man and woman are living together, I think it would be best to go ahead and make it legal because of the laws under which we live regarding property and inheritance and hospital privileges, etc.
That's my opinion.
__________________
Sam also known as Jim Ellis
Apostolic in doctrine
Pentecostal in experience
Charismatic in practice
Non-denominational in affiliation
Inter-denominational in fellowship
I spent several years under a pastor who used the "judgment must begin at the house of God" provision as he understood it (ref 1 Peter 4:17). This is also used by others. The idea is that when you receive the Holy Ghost, it is a new start for you. If you come into the church single (either never married or divorced), that is your status and you can marry if you wish. If you come into church married, you must remain with that spouse. If there is a divorce because the spouse is unfaithful, you can marry again. If the divorce is not because of the spouse's infidelity, you cannot remarry while that former spouse is alive. You must remain single (a eunuch for the kingdom's sake per Matthew 19:12).
Here's a situation we had in our church.
Woman A and man A were married to one another and both had the Holy Ghost. Man B moved into their house as a boarder. He did not have the Holy Ghost. Woman A and man B became lovers and Man A was run off the property. There was a divorce. Man A would be allowed to remarry because his wife was unfaithful. Woman A and man B got married. Man B got baptized but did not receive the Holy Ghost. Woman A was considered guilty of adultery and was "sat down" i.e. could not take any active part in the church or church service, not even testify. Since man B came in (or at least partially came in) married, he was OK and could take part as much as anyone without the Holy Ghost could.
Take into mind that Paul is writing under Roman law which prohibitted polygamy and often pressured the Jewish people who did to abide by Roman law. Paul doesn't make moral declarations against the men of the OT but admonishes Christian leaders to be husbands of one wife. It would appear that Paul's admonishion was according to the "law of the land" not Law of God.
Just a few random thoughts.
More like ramblings, If a man is to leave his father and mother and join with his wife and become one flesh. Can he then become one flesh with more than one woman? Is not the joining of a man and woman bringing back the unity of that which God took from man to make woman? By adding more than one wife the man would be adding to his flesh not completing his flesh.
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