I agree with D4T that consistency is KEY!!!! No matter how you discipline--if you're inconsistent, your children will be constantly pushing the boundaries--because they're confused as to where those boundaries actually are!
Pick your battles wisely--but IF and WHEN you pick one--make sure you win it.
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
I agree with D4T that consistency is KEY!!!! No matter how you discipline--if you're inconsistent, your children will be constantly pushing the boundaries--because they're confused as to where those boundaries actually are!
Pick your battles wisely--but IF and WHEN you pick one--make sure you win it.
This is quite probably the most important part of parenting. No matter how you discipline, no matter what you allow or don't allow, you MUST be consistent.
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You become free from who you have become, by becoming who you were meant to be. ~Mark from another forum I post on
God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ. ~Romans 3:24 from The Message
Levi got into this thing at bedtime where he would really spin out of control, crying until he got sick. of course this was after Jack came along and generally Jack was asleep when it happened so the double trouble was dealing with a tantrum and dealing with him waking the baby and dealing with a crying baby all rolled into one.
somewhere along the way, I came on a unique solution.
When Levi started that, I would take him to the laundry room (farthest place from the sleeping baby in the house) put him on one 12'x12' tile and told him that was his "Cry Spot"
I sat in the kitchen in his view and let him know that he was not in trouble but if he needed to cry, he needed to stand in that one spot until he finished and that I would be right there (always where we could see each other) when he finished his crying.
first time he was able to cry for a couple of minutes. he tried to sit down, but I would make him stand up in that one tile and not move from it.
Next time, it lasted 30 seconds, after that he would start, i would say "lets go to your cry spot" and he would be done crying.
It worked great for us, but that only works at home....hope that helps....
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
Levi got into this thing at bedtime where he would really spin out of control, crying until he got sick. of course this was after Jack came along and generally Jack was asleep when it happened so the double trouble was dealing with a tantrum and dealing with him waking the baby and dealing with a crying baby all rolled into one.
somewhere along the way, I came on a unique solution.
When Levi started that, I would take him to the laundry room (farthest place from the sleeping baby in the house) put him on one 12'x12' tile and told him that was his "Cry Spot"
I sat in the kitchen in his view and let him know that he was not in trouble but if he needed to cry, he needed to stand in that one spot until he finished and that I would be right there (always where we could see each other) when he finished his crying.
first time he was able to cry for a couple of minutes. he tried to sit down, but I would make him stand up in that one tile and not move from it.
Next time, it lasted 30 seconds, after that he would start, i would say "lets go to your cry spot" and he would be done crying.
It worked great for us, but that only works at home....hope that helps....
Actually Ferd, that was wisdom imparted. I appreciate you sharing that bit of experience. LOL!
Good stuff Nahkoe! My 3 1/2 yr old started the "terrible twos" at 18 months and still can throw a doozy. I like to think I'm still a decent parent!
My 18 month old is coming into his own now and can really let it fly when he's angry!
They are little people who don't know the proper outlet for thier frustrations yet. Nothing wrong with you Dad! I'm sure you're doing a great job Bro. Eastman!
Quote:
Originally Posted by nahkoe
Nah...throwing fits is pretty typical no matter what. My 4 year old *still* throws those spectacalar fits. He's more stubborn than your average bear though.
And, a toddler always wanting to get his way is typical too. That's what toddlers do!
At 2, he's just starting to figure out he's a separate person. This concept is blowing his little mind. He's gotta check this out, how does this work? Why does this work? It's probably kind of scary too, to realize he's not really just a part of you and mama. And overwhelming. Change always is...
Calm consistency is the key.
He asks, you say no. He throws fit. Whatever you do, DO NOT GIVE IT TO HIM NOW! lol You will live to regret that if you do.
A lot of the time, distraction is the key. "I know you really want X. You can't have X right now. Would you like A?" Or if he can have it later, but not right now..I'd use "first, then" to explain time. "First, we have to pick up your toys, then you can have a piece of candy."
And about distraction? Seriously..."Wow...did you see that airplane in the sky!?!" can be a lifesaver! lol Sometimes they just get "stuck" on something and need to be jump started to get out of it.
There's also a saying, HALT. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Most tantrums fit into one of these. Figuring out which one can help you figure out how to solve the problem, or even minimize how often it's happening if you get really good at keeping track of those needs. A lot of the time I'd sit down on the couch and snuggle while we watched a movie (reading a book works too!) when the fits were really bad. Sometimes we'd snuggle and they'd get back up to play and be happy for hours. Sometimes they'd fall asleep while snuggling and wake up in a much better mood. I'd usually throw a snack in too, they're not usually allowed in the living room so it was a novelty and would make sure they weren't hungry and flipping out cuz their blood sugar was low. I never have figured out a quick trick for angry though.
Good luck! Toddlers are awesome little peoples. Exhausting creatures though. lol
__________________ Mrs. LPW
Psalm 19:14
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
Levi got into this thing at bedtime where he would really spin out of control, crying until he got sick. of course this was after Jack came along and generally Jack was asleep when it happened so the double trouble was dealing with a tantrum and dealing with him waking the baby and dealing with a crying baby all rolled into one.
somewhere along the way, I came on a unique solution.
When Levi started that, I would take him to the laundry room (farthest place from the sleeping baby in the house) put him on one 12'x12' tile and told him that was his "Cry Spot"
I sat in the kitchen in his view and let him know that he was not in trouble but if he needed to cry, he needed to stand in that one spot until he finished and that I would be right there (always where we could see each other) when he finished his crying.
first time he was able to cry for a couple of minutes. he tried to sit down, but I would make him stand up in that one tile and not move from it.
Next time, it lasted 30 seconds, after that he would start, i would say "lets go to your cry spot" and he would be done crying.
It worked great for us, but that only works at home....hope that helps....
__________________ Mrs. LPW
Psalm 19:14
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
Levi got into this thing at bedtime where he would really spin out of control, crying until he got sick. of course this was after Jack came along and generally Jack was asleep when it happened so the double trouble was dealing with a tantrum and dealing with him waking the baby and dealing with a crying baby all rolled into one.
somewhere along the way, I came on a unique solution.
When Levi started that, I would take him to the laundry room (farthest place from the sleeping baby in the house) put him on one 12'x12' tile and told him that was his "Cry Spot"
I sat in the kitchen in his view and let him know that he was not in trouble but if he needed to cry, he needed to stand in that one spot until he finished and that I would be right there (always where we could see each other) when he finished his crying.
first time he was able to cry for a couple of minutes. he tried to sit down, but I would make him stand up in that one tile and not move from it.
Next time, it lasted 30 seconds, after that he would start, i would say "lets go to your cry spot" and he would be done crying.
It worked great for us, but that only works at home....hope that helps....
I am so going to use this one day!
It also foreshadows an important attribute about our GOD!
While we're done crying, Our Father is right there and He will be there for us once we're done crying.
__________________
"The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character."
That's what toddlers do! 
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