Just Wondering.....

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Michlow

I would like to chime in with a few thoughts on this subject, as we all know that not to long ago I was in a pretty dark place.

In a way, I agree with all of you. Whereas I agree that living in bitterness and dwelling on past hurts is not a good thing in the long term, I think sometimes we try to rush people to heal on our time schedule. Sometimes it's easy for us on the outside to see the right answers, and we know how much better off they'll be when they are able to move beyond their painful experience.

I was in so much pain, I was hurting so much, and sometimes it took everything I had to keep from giving up. It scares me now to think how close I once was to that, I just wanted the suffering to end. And yet somehow, someway, I held on.

Regardless of the good intentions of others, every time I was told to move on, get past it, to suck it up, or quit whining, all I heard was "Your pain is unimportant. Nobody care's about your suffering. Your experiences are nothing."

Can you see how that would add insult to injury?

In a way, it's the opposite end of the same coin that has frustrated you. You have fought many battles for your faith. You have passed through many obstacles, and suffered your own pains. And to have someone demean that, and make it into nothing, is the worst of insults.

It is in this that I can truly see the miracle that has occurred in my own life. It is why I wouldn't for all the money in the world change one single step of my spiritual journey.

It is God through His Spirit in me that led me, and taught me, and gave me revelation, that saved me from the brink. It is God, through His Spirit in you that led you and gave you strength and perseverance.

I got all caught up in how happy I am now, that I have forgotten what the point of this post was (if any)......(to be fair, I am at work, and have gotten interrupted about 12 times). I suppose I could delete it (which I end up doing 90% of the time), but I think I will just post it and hope that it makes any lick of sense at all

Makes perfect sense. It is like grieving...many people can tell you, "Oh, it's been a year you need to get over it..." But any grief, loss, or hurt is an individual thing and the timing is up to God and the individual. What others assume is "holding onto the pain of victimization" is just letting it out so the healing can continue until personal closure..


Relationship has to be more than forum posts but many years of knowing an individual before one can offer "the truth in love". More damage is caused by offering advice and your opinion without the relationship.

In the course of counseling; the first thing that must be done is securing a relationship with a client before embarking on the journey of pain, acceptance, and resolution.

Blessings, Rhoni

P.S. BTW Mich, the post is awesome!!

[Sister Alvear]

Rhoni, good to see you posting today.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

Rhoni, good to see you posting today.

Thank you. I slept well last night. I know the prayers were covering me.
Thank you for praying.

Love & Blessings, Rhoni

[HeavenlyOne]

I think there is a big difference in telling someone to 'get over it' if their situation is fairly new, but when that person goes on and on and on and on for years and years and years, clearly refusing to 'get over it', well, I say it's past time to forgive and move on.

I've known people who live that way and they are people I can't be around for long because they refuse to take advice or get help or anything else. It's almost like they thrive on the constant 'I feel sorry for you, you poor thing' responses they receive from others.

I just can't do that but for a little while.