Educated Less Likely to Divorce than Evangelicals

[ILG]

Originally Posted by A_PoMo

Well, I'm no James Dobson...but with my boys I've tried to be very open about sexual issues from the start and not shy away from them. I figure if I'm open and frank and put it in its proper perspective then it won't be the mysterious unknown when the hormones kick in. I had the birds and bees and adam and steve talk w/my oldest son when he was 7(?) as soon as I found out he'd seen some questionable pictures at a neighbors kid's. I answer any questions he has from time to time w/out getting nervous or act like it's a taboo subject. I don't oversexualize them, I just don't avoid it and treat the subject as if it's something that's all that sensitive. Hopefully when the hormones kick in and he's faced with sexuality in his peer group he'll have a more well rounded, more informed and balanced understanding of sex and sexuality. I kinda wonder if we try to be hush hush about it and/or focus on it too much that we give it too much power and influence in our thinking. Kinda like talking about the devil too much instills fear in people. So far I think his view of sex is pretty mature and well balanced.

Thanks. I know my husband and son have had a few "talks" as have my daughter and I.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by A_PoMo

Have you seen good results in your boys by taking this approach? It's a new approach for me, my parents pretty much a 'don't ask, don't tell' approach to it.

Ironically, in my experience, the holiness churches I grew up in were much more sexually charged than my 'worldly' and evangelical experience as an adult. And if you're a man reading this then you know it's not merely a stage of life or hormonal thing. Know what I mean?

This is quite mystifying. But from what I have seen, I concur.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

I think I've had very good success. Of course, I have no way of knowing what my teenagers do every moment of the day, so far I've found no evidence of their involvement with pornography, no hint that they are involved in premarital sex, or any of the other things our parents worried so much about with us.

We have Covenant Eyes on our computer. When we first got it, I was freaked out by the results and thought everything was porn. That wasn't good. The "naughty" smiley on AFF shows up on there. I'm afraid I overreacted and regret that. I did find a rated R movie on a thumb drive once and took the thumb drive away. Sometimes, you wonder if you are just keeping things at bay until POW! they move out and then, uh-oh, every temptation is wide open. I really hope there are things going on internally and not just externally.

[A_PoMo]

Originally Posted by ILG

We have Covenant Eyes on our computer. When we first got it, I was freaked out by the results and thought everything was porn. That wasn't good. The "naughty" smiley on AFF shows up on there. I'm afraid I overreacted and regret that. I did find a rated R movie on a thumb drive once and took the thumb drive away. Sometimes, you wonder if you are just keeping things at bay until POW! they move out and then, uh-oh, every temptation is wide open. I really hope there are things going on internally and not just externally.

Yeah, it's the real world experience when kids leave home that is real test.

[Hoovie]

No offense to anyone - but it's not my education, money or church affiliation or lack of it that comes to mind - but the fact my parents taught me I would burn in hell if I divorced my wife.

[nahkoe]

Originally Posted by Stephen Hoover

No offense to anyone - but it's not my education, money or church affiliation or lack of it that comes to mind - but the fact my parents taught me I would burn in hell if I divorced my wife.

I grew up being taught this. It nearly destroyed me when my ex left me. I will *not* teach my children the same thing.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Stephen Hoover

No offense to anyone - but it's not my education, money or church affiliation or lack of it that comes to mind - but the fact my parents taught me I would burn in hell if I divorced my wife.

So fear is what comes to mind? It's kind of nice that education keeps people married for other reasons maybe. Maybe it's prestige or power or money that keeps them married. Or, maybe education helps them understand how to treat each other with respect and learn some of the differences so they can work through them better. I don't know. Maybe it's a little of both.

My parents never taught me I would burn in hell for divorcing. But I have always had a strong desire to keep my marriage intact. I think the church has helped with that desire, but it wasn't a salvational fear that kept me there. I'm not even sure I can say it was a salvational fear that kept me doing standards. I had great fear but that was more something in my head that was sown there by preachers who taught legalism and was more psychological than anything.

[Hoovie]

Honestly... I was using a bit of hyperbole ladies. The fact is I learned by example. Divorce was just never an option around the dozens of families I grew up with.

ILG, I do think Godly influence is primary (and missing in many Christian homes) but I am very much in favor of education. I am contributing to my three girls' college funds.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Stephen Hoover

Honestly... I was using a bit of hyperbole ladies. The fact is I learned by example. Divorce was just never an option around the dozens of families I grew up with.

ILG, I do think Godly influence is primary (and missing in many Christian homes) but I am very much in favor of education. I am contributing to my three girls' college funds.

I think that's great!

I was mostly around my Dad and his family when I was young (Mom's family was far away). My grandma and grandpa were divorced. My great uncle was on his second marriage. My grandpa was married three times altogether. My grandpa wasn't my Dad's father anyway. Two uncles divorced. One aunt divorced I think three times. My Dad and my other aunt remain married. I think my Mom was a great example in that. My Mom and Dad were going to get divorced but my Dad quit drinking and so my Mom stayed. As I mentioned in another thread, in my Mom's family all 14 children remain with their original spouses and were raised in a strong Catholic family.

[jaxfam6]

Originally Posted by cneasttx

I guess I don't find it interesting because I know statistics can be manipulated.

Now Cindy you know they would NOT do that. you uneducated person you