For sale: Braille dictionary

[edwina]

For sale: Braille dictionary; like new; must see to appreciate.

[Jack Shephard]

LOL you are just plain mean.


I like it!

[edwina]

Patsy Cline sang "I fall to pieces" and boy did she mean it.

[edwina]

NOW THIS IS DRUNK
>
>
>
> A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His
> friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says NO -- he only lives a mile away.
>
> About five blocks from the party, the police pull him over. They check his license and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line.
Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house around the block. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they'll be right back and they run around the corner to the robbery.
>
> The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who
might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.
>
>A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. Smith is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been there all day.
>
> The police still have his driver's license. They ask to see
his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage. She opens the door. There sitting in the garage is the police car, with all its lights still flashing.
>
>
>
> True story; told by the driver at his first AA meeting

[tstew]

Originally Posted by edwina

NOW THIS IS DRUNK
>
>
>
> A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His
> friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says NO -- he only lives a mile away.
>
> About five blocks from the party, the police pull him over. They check his license and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line.
Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house around the block. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they'll be right back and they run around the corner to the robbery.
>
> The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who
might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.
>
>A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. Smith is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been there all day.
>
> The police still have his driver's license. They ask to see
his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage. She opens the door. There sitting in the garage is the police car, with all its lights still flashing.
>
>
>
> True story; told by the driver at his first AA meeting

You can't give that guy a ticket...that story's too good.

[edwina]

"Try this on for size, your mother is dead."

"What?! Dad, are you serious?!"

"No, she's not really dead, we're getting a divorce. It's a business tactic, you drop the bomb, then you let 'em off easy."

[edwina]

I'm pretty sure the members of the band The Doobie Brothers aren't really brothers. More proof, none of the band members have the last name "Doobie" so I'm really not sure how they came about that name.

[edwina]

I will ask this question here because I know this is where all the smart people hang out.

Why do we call a hayride a hayride when we always use straw to sit on????