Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron1710
I think you have a misunderstanding of what a real man is. I am not soft and neither is my son, the boys will be boys attitude is an excuse for bad behavior. A man controls himself, he doesn't manipulate others for his own pleasure. A man gives up his seat for a lady. And if another person of the male species mistreats a lady a real man is there to defend her. A man treats a lady like a sister until he is ready to make some sort of commitment to her, certainly a Christian young man should not be casually planting his lips on any female who comes along. The boys will be boys attitude is why they hand out condoms and birth control in public schools.
I don't think he should wait until he is married to kiss a girl, but neither do I think he ought to be taking it lightly.
|
LOL
Here’s the deal bro. I know you’ve never been a player. And that’s a good thing. But I think those who don’t know what I’m talking about easily get the wrong idea.
Look, this isn’t a “potion” that turns women into mindless objects to kiss. No technique on earth can get a kiss from a woman if they don’t like you. It’s not so much about a technique as it is “confidence”. It’s the confidence generated in a young man who understands girls and his own masculinity. I know kids that are cowering nerds in the wake of confident and poised girls. It shouldn’t be that way. Our boys need to have confidence in themselves and not be afraid of girls. It’s not so much manipulation that can get a lady’s affection, it’s the confidence. I fully agree that a man gives up his seat for a lady. I also believe that a man defends a lady. No one is saying otherwise. But it’s not all about being “Mr. Nice-Guy”, the nerdy little, “do gooder”, who’s always wishing he had a date on prom night while the young men who know how to
also entertain a young girl’s affections have a date. The most charming gentlemen in the world can also know how to sweep a lady off her feet.
Also, a young man who is confident with women can be choosy. A young man should be taught to be very “selective”. When I was younger I saw awkward young men who just didn’t have confidence with girls fearing to just talking to them…or jumping at the first girl who said, “Hi”. It’s a whole different world when you walk into a room and feel like…they’re just girls. I can talk to any girl I choose whenever I want. There’s no hurry, no rush. So I too believe that no young man (Christian or not) should be casually just kissing any young woman that comes along. With confidence a young man can be selective.
What I’m saying is that we as fathers and men need to teach young men how to be confident and in control with young ladies. Many of the young men I see have NO shared understanding from their dads on this.
And yes, it would be nice if we could somehow get a young man to see every young lady like a sister until he’s ready to make some sort of commitment to her. But I have this sneaky suspicion that the reality is that most young men discover a certain young lady that just seems to be more than a sister and no matter how hard they try, they just see her as more. And so with confidence they break the ice and talk to her and affections start between the two. Most likely there’s a kiss and they realize…they want to commit to more. And then a love develops and blooms into a romantic friendship, then an engagement, and then a marriage.
NOBODY said anything about allowing “boys to be boys” involved anything that would require condoms. Talk about racing to the gutter. Maybe some guys here can’t conceive of kissing a woman without going that far…but most of us can.
But you still agree in the end. Our young men will most likely not wait until marriage to kiss a girl, and that’s normal. My primary point was just that as a father I want my son confident around young ladies.
I learned most of what we’re talking about from my buddies in the military outside of the context of also being a gentleman (though I was…most of the time). You know, I sometimes wonder if I’d have fewer regrets if I would have learned most of these things and forged my identity as a man from my dad.
I'm fully confident that the ladies here understand what I'm trying to say.
Linear Mode
