The thing that has me troubled is if she actually didn't shave her legs before!!! LOL!!
We have had so many hysterical things happen over the years, but some of the weirdest things happened years ago when our church was in the same neighborhood as a group home for the mentally disabled. You can just imagine some of the characters we had come through, but the most distinctive one was a 6 foot tall schizophrenic woman that came on a regular basis for quite a while. She was usually pretty subdued, but on a couple of occasions she gave us some very entertaining memories.
On time, it was a cold Sunday morning, and the building that we had back then was pretty old. We would turn the gas ovens on in the kitchen because it helped heat up the Sunday School classrooms better, but there would be a little gas smell. She was sitting in the sanctuary, luckily it was right before church actually started, when she got up and started screaming "Clear the building, clear the building, it's gonna blow." One of the women took her out side to calm her down and explain what was going on.
Another time she came in the back door during altar service and stood in the entry and hollered, "Silence, by the order of Nelson Mandela, you are all being deported. Report to the docks at midnight!!" I am sooo not kidding!! (BTW, we have no "docks")
True Story... Broke up the church in laughter so much... They had to dismiss...
Spirit moving, pastor gets up and feels like having a couple of people testify...
Man stands up and says, "I thank God for His protecting power. I have always heard about it but it has become real to me since last night... My wife and I were laying in bed and the ceiling fan, all of a sudden, came loose and fell out of the ceiling, landing right between us... I thank God for His protecting power, because if it had happened 5 minutes earlier, that ceiling fan would have hit me square in the back..."
Uncontrolled laughter throughout the congregation...
True Story... Broke up the church in laughter so much... They had to dismiss...
Spirit moving, pastor gets up and feels like having a couple of people testify...
Man stands up and says, "I thank God for His protecting power. I have always heard about it but it has become real to me since last night... My wife and I were laying in bed and the ceiling fan, all of a sudden, came loose and fell out of the ceiling, landing right between us... I thank God for His protecting power, because if it had happened 5 minutes earlier, that ceiling fan would have hit me square in the back..."
Uncontrolled laughter throughout the congregation...
__________________
Rom.8:38,39-For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither heigth nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Years ago we had an ol' guy who, during his testimony, stated that he couldn't understand 'why the h***' he couldn't get the Holy Ghost. Kind of stopped things for a while. My dad just smiled.........
__________________ "I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
Does anyone remember during the Branch Davidian episode in the 1990’s a fellow trying to break INTO the compound during the standoff?
Here is the rest of the story.
Galen (sp) Allen pastured the church in West Lake La. At the time and there was this fellow who wasn’t all right.
He rode a bicycle everywhere he went. Most Sunday’s during worship service he would take off running around the back of the church, and then up toward the front on the right side of the sanctuary.
He had no problem with his first left turn, and thus ran across the front in the alter area. But that is when trouble invariably set in. For some reason unknown to anyone, as he crossed from right to left, he never could manage the second left, and would run slap into the wall on the left side of the sanctuary! He did it nearly every service! He would run full tilt straight into the wall and nearly knock himself out!
Well, during the Branch Davidian standoff, Brother Allen got a phone call. It seems this same fellow rode his bicycle from Westlake (Lake Charles area) to Waco, and then tried to break into the compound!
Seems “God” told him to join up in the struggle!
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
Dear Sister loved to sing her testimonies, Got up one night, told the Pastor, she had a new song, she proceeded....
"I feel like hel.....
I feel like hel.....
I feel like hel..ping the Lord!"
__________________ Oh well, that's the way I see it!
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