For those who want to know...RULES at my church!

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

What struck me in the first is that there was only ONE story which could be said to be a traditional "apostolic" type church. The rest were all nutso, whacked-out, organizations you never hear of. The very first chapter is about a church in CA right out of the 80's "radically saved" mentality. Hardly UPC, but very VERY abusive.

Sounds like you've read the brief notation I wrote in the front of my copy of Recovering From Churches That Abuse. I jotted down, "Good- enjoy reading personal experiences yet too many are of a more severe nature. Need a book that deals with more subtle issues-"

Though I like Enroth's two books, they focused too much on the more 'way out there' cases. Because of this, they aren't as helpful as they could be to those who were involved in a 'normal' unhealthy church.

[RandyWayne]

Very true.

Very often people write about "abusive" churches and start out by saying how they were greeted at the door and told they could not enter if they were wearing pants. However, THAT is a church which is announcing its intentions and philosophy right up front. The true abusive church will let anyone and everyone enter the doors with bright shiny Colgate smiles, like a spider with its lair. Then, after a few short weeks or months, they got ya.

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

Very often people write about "abusive" churches and start out by saying how they were greeted at the door and told they could not enter if they were wearing pants. However, THAT is a church which is announcing its intentions and philosophy right up front. The true abusive church will let anyone and everyone enter the doors with bright shiny Colgate smiles, like a spider with its lair. Then, after a few short weeks or months, they got ya.

Good observation, though both would be abusive. It goes along with what I shared previously about it being a slow process and one that the person probably will not recognize at the time.

[Timmy]

This thread just passed the 1000-post mark. It's in ninth place, in the main Fellowship Hall, but nipping at the heels of such important topics as "Girl's Leggings" and "Wedding Rings". But only about half-way to overtaking the current leader, "Are All Trinitarians Lost?".

Just thought you'd like to know.

Originally Posted by Timmy

This thread just passed the 1000-post mark. It's in ninth place, in the main Fellowship Hall, but nipping at the heels of such important topics as "Girl's Leggings" and "Wedding Rings". But only about half-way to overtaking the current leader, "Are All Trinitarians Lost?".

Just thought you'd like to know.

Forum life can be interesting!

Many years back I had received a list of possible problems a person might encounter who has been involved in an unhealthy church. The list was mainly made for members of the WCG, but many should sound familiar to those who have been involved in any unhealthy church.

This is just a part of the list:

God:

Anger at God

Feeling God has betrayed, deserted and/or abandoned you

Questioning God ("Why me?" "Where were you?" "Why did you allow this?" "Why didn't you protect me?" etc.)

Unable to feel God's love

Unable to feel God is really there

Believing God has placed you under a "curse" whenever any problem or disaster occurs

Feeling God does not approve of you or accept you

Feeling God is teaching you a "lesson" for your "sins" of leaving

Problems integrating the God you knew in the WCG and the God (or Jesus) you think you're supposed to know now.1

Feeling you lost the God you knew (especially if you were a prior Christian)

Unable to understand what God or Jesus are really like

The entire list can be found at:
http://www.exitsupportnetwork.com/artcls/spirdiff.htm

Perhaps this will be helpful to some here who may not be sure if what they are going through is normal or not.

I am really grateful I didn't think God had done it to me...or abandoned me, I looked to Him to get me out, and He did, for me I knew it was a human problem....


My anger was more directed to those that did the damage, and should know better, if they are as 'holy', 'bible reading', 'praying' people they say they are...they had little faith in God, or how He will work in the saints hearts.


I am grateful for the eyes that are opening, and the hearts that are softening....

[Michlow]

Originally Posted by Michlow

For me, my view of the Bible has changed alot, and I don't suppose I could say anything that would give most of the people here any higher proof of my "deceived" state, than to state that I no longer believe in the concept of biblical inerrancy.

I just thought this was funny, because this morning I had a JW come into the office and give me a watchtower called "Can you Trust the Bible"

[The Mrs]

Originally Posted by Sarge

Many years back I had received a list of possible problems a person might encounter who has been involved in an unhealthy church.

Sarge, do you think you could define what an unhealthy church is for us?

Also, what would define a church as 'abusive' as opposed to 'unhealthy'. And where does an 'oppressive' church fit into the equation?

Originally Posted by Sister Truth Seeker

My anger was more directed to those that did the damage, and should know better, if they are as 'holy', 'bible reading', 'praying' people they say they are...they had little faith in God, or how He will work in the saints hearts.

STS, while some do know better, others are caught up in a wrong mindset and truly believe they are doing what is right. These have no idea the damage they cause at the time.

If we stop to examine it, many of us who were involved in an unhealthy church did things ourselves to others that were wrong because we became a part of the environment. Many who leave not only have the harm they received to deal with, but also what they may have unknowingly done to others, too.