Sibling stabbing me in the back

Originalist · #1 07-31-2018, 08:36 AM

A family friend approached me today and told me my sister had contacted her to ask "Did my dad ever say anything to you about wanting to change his will? If so, how long was it before he died?"

The friend denied knowing anything. The friend does not want to be involved and asked me not to say anything. She thinks my sister is nuts, but felt I should know. Since November 2016, my family has been 4 in one bedroom at my dad's house. Thus the room can get messy with much more clothes than closet and dresser space. My sister took pics of our mess and sent them to this friend. With my dad gone, we plan on giving the girls the spare room to share. I expect my sister, who does not live with us, to object.

My sister was presurring my dad into signing something right before he unexpectadly died. I was told that by a half-sibling. He never did sign it, however. I think my sister's scheme is to ty to contest the will based on witnesses who will testify that my dad had expressed his intention to change the will in her favor somehow. As the will stands now, we split everything 50/50.

My sister is very quiet and has no friends. She is not a partier and has never been married. She has turned friends and family off over the years for her rudely quiet demeanor. She does not like to even greet people. But this is not shyness. This is not wanting to bother with people. She fits the profile of people who eventually explode and cause bodily harm.

I've always treated her good. She is the most selfish, self -centered person I know. My dad subsidized about 30% of her income her entire adult life. She will be 54 next month and is resisting having to make it without her benefactor.

I have always suspected, by her comments and actions over the years, that she has never accepted Dad's will being a 50-50 split. She felt she was entitled to the house and that I should only get a few keep-sakes. Dad did not agree. He may have told her something towards the end to satisfy her , but this was only because she was aggressively badgering him. Thus now she thinks if she can arm twist witnesses into testifying that they heard dad express an intent to change the will in her favor, she can contest it in court. What she does not know is that some of these parties heard dad say that he was very concerned and was considering changing the will to protect ME from HER.

Again, I am not going to say anything to her. I am finalizing the estate this week and getting her to sign off on it with a written agreement that no party will attempt through legal means to change the conditions of the will unless they have addressed grievances first with the other party. We'll see if she signs it or not.

Amanah · #2 07-31-2018, 08:53 AM

It all sounds very unsettling, I hate loose ends.
what will it take to finalize everything?

Evang.Benincasa · #3 07-31-2018, 08:59 AM

I know the rodeo all too well.

But she is the one who needs the help. She is going through changes right now. The death of her father will cause all sorts of issues for her. She can get everyone and their cousin to come forward and say this, that, and the other ting. Yet, that isn't considered anything were a will is involved. Meaning the other side needs to provide some solid evidence of intent to change the will. Still this would take a long grueling process even if the other side had something worth looking at. Anyway, you have the upper hand, and she is someone who is troubled, and you know this. Right now self preservation and anger will make the flames grow higher and higher. No matter how it turns out you will be OK, your family will be OK. She on the other hand has to live without Christ as her comforter. Only a mind that will not leave her alone, only resentment and bitterness. Even if you could press a button right now, and make her go away with her 50%. She is still twisting in spiritual pain. i can't give you any advise. Because Jesus is the only one to equip you with the power to do what needs to be done for you and for her. i pray that everyone walks away from the table in peace, which is hard. Very hard, because you have the Holy Ghost and are led by Jesus Christ. She has nothing but fear, pain, and anger.

Apostolic1ness · #4 07-31-2018, 09:01 AM

if its not written and signed its all hear-say on both sides either to protect you from her or to give her the house neither set of witnesses will matter if its not on paper from your dad its going to be 50/50. hope all is well.