Divorce and Remarriage?

[Jermyn Davidson]

Originally Posted by Esaias

Was he like this when she married him?

I hate to sound harsh, but sometimes you gotta lie in the bed you make, knowhuttamean?

She could just tell him she's moving back home with the kids until he gets his act together.

Of course, people could pray for the guy, maybe even witness to him...

Or she could divorce him?

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

Or she could divorce him?

Well, that would be the American way. But is that the Bible way?

[good samaritan]

Mt. 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife:and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them,-- Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives:but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

The scripture here says, if you put away your wife except for fornication and marry another it is adultery. How can it be adultery if you are divorced? Unless, God doesn't recognize the legitimacy of the divorcement. Could it be that the only 2 things that sever a marriage in the eyes of God is death and fornication? Could God still be holding people accountable to their marriage partner after they separate? That would explain why it would be adultery for them to remarry.

After there has been infidelity the ground has been defiled (OT terms), and the covenant has been broken. Afterwards the innocent party is no longer bound. The guilty party must repent. Repentance entails different things with people. repentance is not just a formal apology, but repentance is a change of heart and actions.

IOW, I don't know of any ABC prescription. I have heard some say that you can't remain in the second relationship. I don't know of any absolute rule other than repentance. A person must acknowledge their sin and then respond to God's leading afterward. That could entail many different things depending upon case by case.

I certainly believe a second marriage is better than a life of promiscuity, but if someone really loves God would they ever succumb to such a lifestyle? Does God expect a person to go through life without a help because of past mistakes? I am unclear on the answers. This is where sin takes people. Sin takes people into territory that is uncertain and which they may never return.

We cannot change our pasts, but we should be certain about our future. The church should teach and emphasize the importance of good choices regarding a spouse. The church should emphasize the oath, "better or worse till death do us part". The only biblical excuse for divorce is adultery and/or fornication. There are no other legalities to quit.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by good samaritan

The scripture here says, if you put away your wife except for fornication and marry another it is adultery. How can it be adultery if you are divorced? Unless, God doesn't recognize the legitimacy of the divorcement. Could it be that the only 2 things that sever a marriage in the eyes of God is death and fornication? Could God still be holding people accountable to their marriage partner after they separate? That would explain why it would be adultery for them to remarry.

After there has been infidelity the ground has been defiled (OT terms), and the covenant has been broken. Afterwards the innocent party is no longer bound. The guilty party must repent. Repentance entails different things with people. repentance is not just a formal apology, but repentance is a change of heart and actions.

IOW, I don't know of any ABC prescription. I have heard some say that you can't remain in the second relationship. I don't know of any absolute rule other than repentance. A person must acknowledge their sin and then respond to God's leading afterward. That could entail many different things depending upon case by case.

I certainly believe a second marriage is better than a life of promiscuity, but if someone really loves God would they ever succumb to such a lifestyle? Does God expect a person to go through life without a help because of past mistakes? I am unclear on the answers. This is where sin takes people. Sin takes people into territory that is uncertain and which they may never return.

We cannot change our pasts, but we should be certain about our future. The church should teach and emphasize the importance of good choices regarding a spouse. The church should emphasize the oath, "better or worse till death do us part". The only biblical excuse for divorce is adultery and/or fornication. There are no other legalities to quit.

Great post.

I have a friend who is Catholic. They don't even believe adultery severs the marriage bond. So, when they divorce, one isn't permitted to remarry. However, a dispensation can be granted by the local diocese that annuls the original marriage.

A friend of mine is Catholic and has been divorced for years. He shared with me that he had a "discrete relationship" with a young lady. He believed it was best to be guilty of occasional sin and go to confession than to be in a legally binding adulterous marriage.

Weird religion.

[Amanah]

Originally Posted by Aquila

Great post.

I have a friend who is Catholic. They don't even believe adultery severs the marriage bond. So, when they divorce, one isn't permitted to remarry. However, a dispensation can be granted by the local diocese that annuls the original marriage.

A friend of mine is Catholic and has been divorced for years. He shared with me that he had a "discrete relationship" with a young lady. He believed it was best to be guilty of occasional sin and go to confession than to be in a legally binding adulterous marriage.

Weird religion.

Mom was Catholic, my Dad was ambivalent.
They lied to the priest about my Dad being divorced. After they had been married for awhile, Mom confessed to the priest who told her that she could stay in the marriage (because I showed up) but should abstain from relations. My Dad ran around on her and eventually left her. When my Dad left, another priest took advantage of the fact that there was no man in the family and molested my sister who is forever scarred, single, never married and pretty much hates all men and the Catholic Church. And this is why I think the Pope makes a great antichrist and am partial to Historicism for my Eschatology.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Amanah

Mom was Catholic, my Dad was ambivalent.
They lied to the priest about my Dad being divorced. After they had been married for awhile, Mom confessed to the priest who told her that she could stay in the marriage (because I showed up) but should abstain from relations. My Dad ran around on her and eventually left her. When my Dad left, another priest took advantage of the fact that there was no man in the family and molested my sister who is forever scarred, single, never married and pretty much hates all men and the Catholic Church. And this is why I think the Pope makes a great antichrist and am partial to Historicism for my Eschatology.

That's terrible. Things like that shouldn't happen to people when they are the most desperate. I'm sorry that happened to your family.

[YounginHope]

This probably needs its own thread but if we truly know what a marriage is in the eyes of God I think it would shed more light on the subject of divorce and remarriage. So, what makes a marriage a marriage? Paper? Can't be. You could give marriage papers to a man and a dog but that wouldn't make them married. Is it a preacher calling on God to join these two together? Well we could call on God to join two three year old children together in marriage too. But does God consider them married and make them one? Obviously a physical relationship doesn't make a marriage or a prostitute would be made one a thousand times. I submit that many people believe they were married but never became one with their spouse. I know someone here can shed more light on this and hopefully clear this up.

8And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Did God put together all these failed marriages? Were they really marriages if God didn't join them together?

[Nitehawk013]

A vow and a consummation. Our society however accepts the breaking and ignoring of vows and has embraced the cheapening of the consummation experience between man and wife.

You make a vow and consummate...God sees you as one now. God has joined you together as you made a covenant. Was it smart or with the person you really should have chosen? Maybe not, but that isn't the issue. You made a vow.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Nitehawk013

A vow and a consummation. Our society however accepts the breaking and ignoring of vows and has embraced the cheapening of the consummation experience between man and wife.

You make a vow and consummate...God sees you as one now. God has joined you together as you made a covenant. Was it smart or with the person you really should have chosen? Maybe not, but that isn't the issue. You made a vow.

I'm inclined to agree. But I've wondered, is the "marriage vow" found in Scripture?

[Aquila]

It appears that sexual union makes two human beings "one flesh". I say this because Paul speaks of a believer becoming one flesh with a prostitute upon fornicating with her:

1 Corinthians 6:16
What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

Thoughts?