Divorce and Stress in Children

Originally Posted by Rhoni

The question is: How does God do this? He trusts you to learn from your elders, be taught by your church leadership, and learn from studying Godly/healthy relationships.

I didn't learn this from elders and I never sought their approval, because they are just men that can tell you the wrong thing. That's why I sought God on my own and had Him to pick my wife. It took years, but I know that my marriage and wife is God's will for me.

God gives you his spirit and when the person you are attracted to loves God like you love God, shows fruits of the spirt, is not led by lust of the flesh, lust of the eye, or pride of life, and you respect and admire her...good chances are...

My story is much different and I can not tell it on here, because my wife would kill me, but it is something that God did, not me and not her. We just obeyed.

Truth is: God doesn't wish on you someone you think is unattractive but he gives you sensitivity to the spirit, and when you live in the spirit you are better equipped to make a good decision for your life partner for yourself.

If Apostolics allow God to pick their mates, then God would pick the best mate for them. Humans never pick the best mate for themselves, but they pick what they see that they like, which isn't the best way to pick a mate.

God doesn't have a couples list with your mate on it...he does though, see the future and knows the choices you will make.

Blessings, Rhoni

Like I said, I didn't choose my mate, but He did choose my mate for me. That's why I know my wife is God's will for me. I would not trust a human in something like that, especially myself.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

My son's biggest concern was: If you really were in love, how could you not be in love today? I think he waited longer to marry because this really troubled him.

I don't know what my daughter would say...she doesn't say much about it...never has.

How did you answer this?

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by WordPreacher

I didn't learn this from elders and I never sought their approval, because they are just men that can tell you the wrong thing. That's why I sought God on my own and had Him to pick my wife. It took years, but I know that my marriage and wife is God's will for me.



My story is much different and I can not tell it on here, because my wife would kill me, but it is something that God did, not me and not her. We just obeyed.



If Apostolics allow God to pick their mates, then God would pick the best mate for them. Humans never pick the best mate for themselves, but they pick what they see that they like, which isn't the best way to pick a mate.




Like I said, I didn't choose my mate, but He did choose my mate for me. That's why I know my wife is God's will for me. I would not trust a human in something like that, especially myself.

WordPreacher,

I started another thread for this because I didn't want to highjack this thread...can you tell me how you knew it was God...on the other thread please?

Blessings, Rhoni

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I talked to my son about this thread this morning and asked him what his biggest problem with the divorce was. He said it was his dad lying and not owning up to anything that bothered him the most.

Best advice if you have to go through it is - - never lie about anything. If the kids asks question, use discretion, but don't lie. They are smart and know when you are lying (even younger children) and you are only kidding yourself if you think older kids don't know the truth.

Amen on that!!! My mom lied to me a lot and I knew it was lies. That is why it took me about 27 years to start trusting people, because people will lie to you about anything, including Apostolics.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

How did you answer this?

I believe you always love them but in a different way. There are a lot of things that love doesn't cover. This is why good pre-marital counseling is a must. Couples need to understand what separates people in a marriage union, i.e., financial trouble, differences in parenting methods, family of origin issues, being unequally yoked in religious practice, education, interests, lack of bonding, lack of loyalty, infidelity, and life's situations can either draw you closer together or further apart.

You choose: You can either forgive and work together at keeping your vows, or you can choose to hold grudges, work against each other, and choose to break the marriage vows and move on to another.

The Choice is made for you: love lasts for a lifetime if two people choose to stay in love, do things that show/express love even when the feeling isn't there...until the feeling returns...and it will. It takes commitment on both individual's parts...if not you are faced with a choice that is made for you.

[rgcraig]

I answered in laymen's terms - - two people can start their marriage in love, but love doesn't grow by itself - - it takes work, committment and both working at it.

If one partner decides they made a mistake and doesn't work at making the marriage a deeper, loving relationship, then the love can die.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I answered in laymen's terms - - two people can start their marriage in love, but love doesn't grow by itself - - it takes work, committment and both working at it.

If one partner decides they made a mistake and doesn't work at making the marriage a deeper, loving relationship, then the love can die.

:sshhh What I said in a nutshell...I tend to be wordy!

Blessings, Rhoni

[LaGirl]

Originally Posted by Theresa

I didnt read this whole thread but I have to say, staying in an unhappy environment full of chaos and anger - isnt healthy for children either. you CAN be divorced and children come out ok...staying together for the children, in certian situations - is for the birds

sometimes you have to leave for the sake of the children.

you are sooo right

[berkeley]

And this is what happens when you heap your problems onto your children..

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