So demon possession is a thing....

[n david]

Originally Posted by Esaias

Glad to hear your testimony! A bit of advice from someone who has been there and done that... you REALLY REALLY REALLY need to get in fellowship with some Holy Ghost saints of God. It doesn't matter if their eschatology is off, if they are wrong about tithing, if they are all messed up about proper ecclesiology, if they can't figure out anything beyond Acts 2:38, One God and Jesus is His Name, the Holy Ghost, real prayer, and holy living. If they get that much right, then that's right where you need to be.

TRUST ME on this. Lay aside any notions you have of fixing them. Learn some basics, not just by hearing it preached but by seeing it in action and participating in it, from some old time saints of God. There's a lot that's better caught than taught about living in the will of God.

Find a small, backwards, country, rural, simple church with no fancy bells and whistles, where the preacher and the saints cain't seem ta speak the King's English and don't drive no fancy cars but they can show you how to live for God, and show it by experience.

People aren't perfect, overlook their faults and you'll probably find they'll overlook yours. But I STRONGLY recommend you find a small, local, apostolic church WITH OLD PEOPLE IN IT that have been walking with the Lord for DECADES and who know how to have old fashioned PRAYER MEETING.

Church hop and shop if necessary until you find THIS CHURCH I'M TALKING ABOUT. You'll know it because your flesh will scream at you to stay away but the Holy Ghost will lead you if you are willing.

Down the road the Lord may call you somewhere else (maybe, maybe not) but FOR NOW you need to get GROUNDED and ROOTED in some real basic stuff. And I am not talking about 'basic doctrines'. Do this and you'll thank the Lord later on.

I speak from personal experience, both good and bad. I WISH someone had told me the same thing 25 years ago.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by jediwill83

I'm not telling you your business man...I've never raised a son but I have been one....Just please please please be understanding with him. I was addicted to porn by age 9. I had a lot of shame and fear because of it and there was no one I could talk to. My dad didn't exactly react the best way. He basically burned everything in my room outside and put a loaded rifle in my face threatening my life. I was only a kid and a victim of molestation from older guys in THE CHURCH. I felt like it was my fault and that God hated me. I was driven by these urges I couldn't explain and nobody ever explained to me. I used to vomit everytime I viewed it as a child but I was driven time and time to go back to it.I survived by learning how to hide myself behind masks which made me unaccountable for my actions and struggles. Brother, he will only open himself up for accountability if he feels like you are a place of love and safety. If not the enemy will use that separation and division against him. Please please please I beg you with all humility to act with compassion and don't react in anger if it comes to things like this and I hope to God it never does. If I would have had a father that was loving and compassionate at the time it would have saved me decades of torment and addiction.

Amen brother. I know what you you're saying, and you're so spot on.

I was blessed, even though I was raised in a single parent home by my mother. My mom was a rather liberal, earthy, peacenik, free-lovin', hippie, Jesus freak kind of woman. LOL I never really had a father figure but mom would point at the Bible and say, "Chris, God is your heavenly Father. If you want to know what it is to be a man, look at Jesus."

When I was 8 my mom sat me down and had "the talk" about the upcoming changes and experiences I'd have during puberty. She explained it ALL. I remember being both embarrassed and intrigued at the same time. She explained that when I entered puberty I'd experience an intense interest in girls, wanting to look at girls, peak at girls, and even fantasize about girls. Mom explained that I'll even discover "girly magazines" and pictures of women, most likely through my friends. She said I'd also begin self-discovery with my "changing" body. She explained what was changing, how and why it was changing, and what all the behaviors my self-discovery would include. She said that it was all perfectly normal, healthy, and that being a man was perhaps one of the most personal blessings God will have ever given me.

And boy was she right! LOL It all burst on the scene almost overnight at 11 years old.

Mom must have been paying close attention because it wasn't too long after I began discovery that she sat me down and we had "the talk" again. She set ground rules:

1.) Whenever I wanted private time I had to close my door. She promised that if the door was closed she'd always knock. She insisted on respecting my privacy and normalizing more private behavior. She told me that it was perfectly normal, healthy, and just a part of growing up. She never even acted like God would be displeased about anything like that. As a result, I never had the guilt, shame, or regret so many of my friends had over their experiences during puberty and young adulthood. I was like, "So what? Dude, God made you a man. Why would God be upset with you over it?"

2.) I was to always keep my room, closet, and drawers orderly and clean. All dirty clothes, especially night clothes, had to be off the floor and properly placed in the laundry hamper (my biggest struggle for some reason).

3.) She gave me a wastepaper basket, box of tissues, fingernail and toenail clippers, cologne, and even a shaving kit (which I didn't use for a couple more years). She informed me that all trash, tissues, or wrappers had to be placed in the proper trash receptacle. Failure to throw away any trash or tissues, and failure to take my trash out before overflowing, would lead to me losing the privileged of being able to close my door for two weeks. She threatened that she was going to take it off the hinges. lol (You can bet I was diligent about throwing away all tissues, trash, and wrappers.)

4.) Mom kept her household duty of collecting my laundry from my hamper and she'd also bring my clean clothes back to my room neatly folded. (I think she did this to have a reason to enter my room regularly.) She promised not to raid my room unless she suspected drugs (Which she did a few times, even though I had never touched a drug! LOL)

5.) When I was 15 she actually got me a subscription to Sports Illustrated. I was puzzled because I was never a big sports nut. I thought she was trying to get me into sports to "make a man" out of me. I read some stories out of SI and it was okay, I guess. I wasn't really thrilled with SI...until a certain issue arrived and I discovered why she chose SI. Evidently she was tired of me thumbing through her women's clothing catalogues. LOL She also got me a subscription to National Geographic, something I had actually asked for. I truly enjoyed NatGeo for all the right reasons. I love science, nature, and ancient bones, cultures, tombs, artifacts, and ruins. All magazines were put on a small basket for magazines on the floor next to my desk. The special issue of SI was to be placed out of sight in the top drawer of my night stand.

6.) I was now responsible for cleaning the bath and shower after every use. If she found any funk, residue, or crud, I was to clean it again.

Mom was true to her word. If she found anything in my room that she felt was too mature, she'd throw it away without warning or notice. It would just "disappear". Yes, I was a red blooded American boy, I pushed the limits. I could swear that the woman could smell a Playboy from a mile away! LOL

She never yelled at me about "personal time". She never even yelled at me over finding a couple Playboys during those years. Frankly, they were just thrown away and nothing said. Sometimes I was embarrassed because I knew she knew. It became a waste of time to even try to keep anything like that in my room.

So, to make a long story short. I grew up in a liberal home. But there were rules and guidelines. Mom was more than understanding, frank, and tolerant. I've had "the talk" with my son already. When it appears that he has entered that phase of life, I'll probably deal with him much similarly to how my mom dealt with me. I didn't really experience the darker elements of my sinful nature until after I got married and joined the Army. That's when porn, alcohol, and a general carnal attitude crept into my life. I got back on track after a few years and actually became involved in lay ministry. Then we had some serious disappointments in church and quit going. My wife wanted an open marriage and I tried to endure that for a while. It ended in a divorce at 33. I then went through a dark period of blaming God, porn, and binge drinking. I thank God that I was never interested in drugs. I met a young lady (Christina) who eventually helped me get back on my feet. Today, I've made me amends with God and I've found my faith again. I'm far from perfect, but I'm more authentic than I used to be and God's grace is more real to me now than it ever was.

I'll probably end up praying for my son much more than my mom prayed for me, simply because I know what young men are up against from personal experience.

[KeptByTheWord]

Jedi,

What a difficult thing you have done here, to bare your soul to the world, while showing that there is HOPE and overcoming POWER in Jesus!

I don't doubt any of your words in the least. Demons are real, but greater is HE that is in us than he that is in the world! I am just thankful that the Lord helped you to come to a place of deliverance for both you and your wife! We will continue praying for your family Jedi!

[jediwill83]

Amazing post. How I wish I could sit with my younger self and just encourage him and hug him and tell him how much God loves him and how precious he is in His sight and that'd it was all going to be OK. I wish I could walk him through the trials of his life and be there as he walked the streets late at night weeping from shame, depression and lonliness at 13 and 14 to be there for him as he cried out to God that if it wasn't going to get better to please kill him as tears streamed down his face while he sobbed brokenly.

I'm actually weeping as I write this because I see how far God has brought me and how far I still have to go.

I hope that one day when I have a son I can be the father he needs.

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by jediwill83

I hope that one day when I have a son I can be the father he needs.

You will be. At the time you may not feel like it (we are all inadequate) but neither you nor I nor anyone is a PERFECT Father - only the Lord is. So its our job to do what we can and point our children to HIM as best we can. After all, our children are really His, we're just borrowing them for a short while.

[Jito463]

Originally Posted by Esaias

You will be. At the time you may not feel like it (we are all inadequate) but neither you nor I nor anyone is a PERFECT Father - only the Lord is. So its our job to do what we can and point our children to HIM as best we can. After all, our children are really His, we're just borrowing them for a short while.

Phillips, Craig and Dean sing a song about that, with the lyrics as:

Lord I want to be just like You
Cause he wants to be just like me
I want to be a holy example
for his innocent eyes to see
Let me be a living Bible, Lord
that my little boy can read
Lord I want to be just like You
cause he wants to be like me

[jediwill83]