Did you mourn leaving the UPC?

[n david]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

I wonder if there's been any kind of study on home groups, home meetings, or home fellowships... to see how fast they're growing? It seems a lot of people are leaving mainstream churches seeking home-based fellowships.

Barna Group study from 2009 found that only 3-6% of survey respondents said they had or were currently attending what Barna calls "organic church," that is, a home-based group that has no input or involvement from any church.

According to a 2012 study by the National Council of Churches. The AoG and PAW are the only listed Pentecostal orgs - AoG grew 3.99% and the PAW has exploded 20%, which is by far the largest percentage of growth among any of the top 20 listed HERE. (Scroll to bottom of article)

The US Catholic church, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Church of God, and Southern Baptists all are in decline.

This isn't a UPC thing, nor does it have anything to do with dress standards.

[Abiding Now]

Originally Posted by Ferd

i am against horrible ordeals.

Me too, that's why I'm against polygamy.

[CC1]

Originally Posted by Real Realism

For those of you who deliberately left the UPC or similar organization, were you conflicted at the time of your departure or did you know with certainty what you had to do and rejoice?

We are at a crossroads and must make movement soon. God has opened doors for us to explore non-UPC, Acts 2:38 non-standards driven churches in our area. Churches we didn't know existed, but with a little digging and prayer, we've found a handful that seem to meet the criteria we've set.

And while we are currently frustrated with the UPC, we cannot help but feel sadness over the idea of leaving. Our hearts are heavy, and we don't make this decision lightly. It's proving harder to take that next step than I anticipated.

I am very late to this thread and have not read any posts other than your iniital one here. My wife and myself left the UPC about 30 years ago but the memory of it all is pretty fresh.

We did not "mourn" leaving at all. We were shocked by the reaction at the time because we were still attending a Oneness church that was exUPC and did not realize the ex communication that would come with leaving the Mothership to attend a pastor and church who had the nerve to pull out.

We certainly found out that in many cases what we had considered friendships were in fact just relationships based on a shared interest (in this case a religious culture).

I think now things are a lot different in most of the UPC. So many churches and pastors have left most UPC folks have friends or family members who have left the org.

Of course there are exceptions. I know of a situation within the last few years where a woman in her 30's was frightened by the prospect of her blue blood UPC parents finding out she visited a large ex UPC church while on vacation.

While we had family members who did not understand what we did and disagreed with us our family relationships never suffered as we are very close and would not let something like this hinder that. However I have no doubt that to this day some of those family members think we are going to split hell wide open. They are just still nice to us and love us while we are on earth. Maybe more so because they don't think they will see us in heaven. LOL!!

[missourimary]

I'm not sure 'mourn' is the right word for what I felt. There was some anger as well as a lot of fear and confusion, but a confidence that I was doing the right thing.
(I had more anger at the situation than a group or org.)

There were things happening at that church that were illegal. Some have hit mainsteam media and even AFF since my departure. But since I didn't want to air their laundry, couldn't prove what I'd guessed at the time, and couldn't produce a letter of transfer, only two oneness churches within a one hour drive would take me. At one of those the pastor tried to get me to gossip about my former church, and when I refused, one of his saints approached me an informed me of who they knew in my former church... and said that she would ask them about me. (Which was exceptionally horiifying to me ecaus I'd told only the pastor where I was from and mad him promise not to tell anyone that information even before I visited.) Gossip or be gossiped about.
I left at that point and never looked back. If I mourned, it was more for the loss of friends and the activities and experiences I could no longer share, and for the fact that something that should be so good could go so extremely wrong.

[Abiding Now]

Q. Did you mourn leaving the UPC?

A. Well what else was I to do, it was Sunday night and they were turning the lights out and besides I had to get an early start Monday morning so I really didn't "mourn" that much.

[Real Realism]

This Sunday, I think we're going to visit one of the churches we've found. Turns out we may know a family who used to attend our church, moved away, and then moved back to the area (they're from an area of the country with sky high unemployment and they have had to follow the work, given his very specific skill set).

When they moved into our area the first time, we discovered that back home they attended an ex-UPC church that still believes the oneness of God, the baptism of the Holy Ghost evidenced by tongues and baptism in Jesus name. But they do not teach the rule book of external standards. When they first moved to our area, they attended an ex-UPC church around there but became upset when during small groups Trinitarian doctrines were allowed to be taught. So they moved over to the UPC...and tried to generally be respectful of the standards, but obviously didn't wholesale buy into them.

When they moved back to the area, the second time, they did not start attending our church again. We'd wondered where they were going, but didn't want to be nosy. If they are, indeed, attending this church, it's very likely that it teaches the doctrine that we believe, as well. That's assuring. We don't really want everyone up in our business before we make a decision, though, so we aren't going to reach out to them in advance and ask. I guess the cat will be out of the bag somewhat if they do see us there on Sunday.

This is a huge step, and not one that's easily made. Us both having "grown up" in the organization, and having natural family ties and church family ties that go deep, it will be painful. I'm praying that there's also an element of relief and belonging that come from this move. But we'll never know until we take that step of faith.

[Revelationist]

Originally Posted by Real Realism

This Sunday, I think we're going to visit one of the churches we've found. Turns out we may know a family who used to attend our church, moved away, and then moved back to the area (they're from an area of the country with sky high unemployment and they have had to follow the work, given his very specific skill set).

When they moved into our area the first time, we discovered that back home they attended an ex-UPC church that still believes the oneness of God, the baptism of the Holy Ghost evidenced by tongues and baptism in Jesus name. But they do not teach the rule book of external standards. When they first moved to our area, they attended an ex-UPC church around there but became upset when during small groups Trinitarian doctrines were allowed to be taught. So they moved over to the UPC...and tried to generally be respectful of the standards, but obviously didn't wholesale buy into them.

When they moved back to the area, the second time, they did not start attending our church again. We'd wondered where they were going, but didn't want to be nosy. If they are, indeed, attending this church, it's very likely that it teaches the doctrine that we believe, as well. That's assuring. We don't really want everyone up in our business before we make a decision, though, so we aren't going to reach out to them in advance and ask. I guess the cat will be out of the bag somewhat if they do see us there on Sunday.

This is a huge step, and not one that's easily made. Us both having "grown up" in the organization, and having natural family ties and church family ties that go deep, it will be painful. I'm praying that there's also an element of relief and belonging that come from this move. But we'll never know until we take that step of faith.

Hope all goes well on the step of faith....

[Dordrecht]

I don't want to be a member of a church anymore.

Simply because I don't want to be ruled by a bunch of guys 1000's of miles away sitting in ivory towers wearing three piece bus.suits.

I don't want to belong to a franchise anymore and submit to the franchise directors.

I submit to Jesus Christ.

[n david]

Originally Posted by Dordrecht

I don't want to be a member of a church anymore.

Simply because I don't want to be ruled by a bunch of guys 1000's of miles away sitting in ivory towers wearing three piece bus.suits.

I don't want to belong to a franchise anymore and submit to the franchise directors.

I submit to Jesus Christ.

There are independent churches out there that aren't part of an organization.

[Dordrecht]

Originally Posted by n david

There are independent churches out there that aren't part of an organization.

Yes, I am aware of that.
I attend one.