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11-21-2011, 03:07 PM
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Forever Loved Admin
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,537
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Men In Heaven
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Heaven, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report
to St Peter."
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.
The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 1,000 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.
God said to the long line, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves; I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."
God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."
Borrowed from a friend on Facebook.
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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11-21-2011, 03:22 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
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Now that is the true story! LOL
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11-21-2011, 03:27 PM
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Not riding the train
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 48,544
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Re: Men In Heaven
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11-21-2011, 03:41 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 3,711
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Re: Men In Heaven
Do you know why there will be no women in heaven?
the bible says, there was silence for 30 minutes! lol
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11-21-2011, 03:44 PM
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Not riding the train
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 48,544
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Re: Men In Heaven
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dedicated Mind
Do you know why there will be no women in heaven?
the bible says, there was silence for 30 minutes! lol
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11-21-2011, 03:47 PM
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This is still that!
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Sebastian, FL
Posts: 9,663
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Re: Men In Heaven
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dedicated Mind
Do you know why there will be no women in heaven?
the bible says, there was silence for 30 minutes! lol
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__________________
All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. ~Tolkien
Refusing to sit under the false gospel and false doctrine of false teachers is not "forsaking the Assembly"
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11-21-2011, 04:38 PM
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Forever Loved Admin
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,537
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Re: Men In Heaven
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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11-21-2011, 06:49 PM
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of 10!! :)
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: South
Posts: 5,896
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Re: Men In Heaven
Funny!! LOL
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11-21-2011, 09:50 PM
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Apostolic Pentecostal
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 3,417
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Re: Men In Heaven
Wow, I have heard the one before, but I have never heard the second. Those were funny. I will have to pass them on to my family as we enjoy those things. Now I have one for all of you.
Two men were standing before St. Peter awaiting there examination to determine their reward. This reward took the form of two shephards crooks. One made of ornate material, and the other was made of rough splintery wood.
St. Peter asked each man their occupation and learned that one was a New York City cab driver, and the other was the pastor of a large and affluent congregation.
"I have your rewards ready for you," he said.
To the cabby he gave the ornate crook, but to the pastor he gave the rough wooden one.
"Wait a second!" cried the pastor. "I was a pastor with an affluent congregation, an accomplished choir, and a fine building. This man was nothing more than a simple cabby. Why does he get the finer shepard's crook."
Said St. Peter, "Verily, in life you had all of those things, but there was one major difference. When you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."
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11-21-2011, 10:19 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
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Hahahahaha! Can't have dead church! 
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