left upci yr ago and still messed up

[Krt]

Not sure where to post this and what to say! Can anyone help me thru this, I tried to search other threads of people going thru this, please leave links if I missed some. Was in UPCI 10 yrs and always felt funny about the "holiness stds" and how strict somethings were. and felt I became so judgemental of others. I felt my other non UPCI friends were more christian like than we were. Alot of things bothered me but yet in UPCI the worship and presence of God and the life changing experiences at the altar are hard to find in other churches. My husband and I haven't been to church for over a yr. I just don't know how to explain how I feel. I am so turned off by church itself now. I have so many mixed feelings inside. I am trying to heal and not have a wall up with God either. and He seems so quiet thru all of this I know He doesn't leave us but I wish He would give my husband and I more guidance and answers... and healing... any advice? does it just take time? can you share what you have been thru if you have gone thru something like this? thank you....

[seekerman]

Yes, my wife and I went through it several years ago. Most of my family are oneness Pentecostal and we lost many friends and some family when we left the sect so it was quite a stressful and trying time in our lives.

We still fellowship but it's mainly in home meetings, which I realize isn't for everyone, especially those with children. Home meetings are far more intimate than any church service we attended and thank God that we are part of that segment of the body of Christ. We would never go back to the religious system we were in, but love those people and count them as brothers and sisters in Christ even though many don't return the feeling.

You're on a journey and it's going to be both disappointing and exciting. Just keep focus on God, keep praying, know that He loves you and hasn't abandoned you one bit. He's the one leading you, follow Him and everything will turn out ok.

[Krt]

thank you for your reply! there is another couple that hasn't been going to our church because of somethings and we thought about just getting together amonsgt ourselves, i really miss prayer meetings too, I just told my husband it would be hard in my own home, so distracting!... I hope that doesn't sound terrible. but maybe something will work out that route?...

It is really sad and painful, how I'm not one of them now, and when we pass in a store it is awkward, That part makes it feel cult like! They think because you aren't going there you are lost... and some seem like they act the part but don't deep down care... and I have given myself bangs since then so its always weird to face them knowing they think its a terrible thing to cut hair... I just found the www.studyholiness.com link and totally agree with their presentation of the issues...

I needed the reassurance in your last paragraph... thank you seekerman )

[Cindy]

I will be praying for you.

[faithit166]

Originally Posted by Krt

Not sure where to post this and what to say! Can anyone help me thru this, I tried to search other threads of people going thru this, please leave links if I missed some. Was in UPCI 10 yrs and always felt funny about the "holiness stds" and how strict somethings were. and felt I became so judgemental of others. I felt my other non UPCI friends were more christian like than we were. Alot of things bothered me but yet in UPCI the worship and presence of God and the life changing experiences at the altar are hard to find in other churches. My husband and I haven't been to church for over a yr. I just don't know how to explain how I feel. I am so turned off by church itself now. I have so many mixed feelings inside. I am trying to heal and not have a wall up with God either. and He seems so quiet thru all of this I know He doesn't leave us but I wish He would give my husband and I more guidance and answers... and healing... any advice? does it just take time? can you share what you have been thru if you have gone thru something like this? thank you....

so why havent you been to church in over a year is it because of the way you felt about the holiness standards and the strictness is this something you struggled with wasnt real sure about and it caused you to leave i guess i just dont understand why you havent been to church surely more has happened besides this i mean no disrespect but what has kept you away

[Hoovie]

Originally Posted by Krt

Not sure where to post this and what to say! Can anyone help me thru this, I tried to search other threads of people going thru this, please leave links if I missed some. Was in UPCI 10 yrs and always felt funny about the "holiness stds" and how strict somethings were. and felt I became so judgemental of others. I felt my other non UPCI friends were more christian like than we were. Alot of things bothered me but yet in UPCI the worship and presence of God and the life changing experiences at the altar are hard to find in other churches. My husband and I haven't been to church for over a yr. I just don't know how to explain how I feel. I am so turned off by church itself now. I have so many mixed feelings inside. I am trying to heal and not have a wall up with God either. and He seems so quiet thru all of this I know He doesn't leave us but I wish He would give my husband and I more guidance and answers... and healing... any advice? does it just take time? can you share what you have been thru if you have gone thru something like this? thank you....

Likely you are feeling guilt for your judgementalism towards others when you were UPC and now towards those in the UPC that you feel have alienated you from Christian fellowship.

It seems that time has come to wipe the slate clean. Forgive yourself and those who wronged you. Ask the Lord to help you make it happen and he will!

[AreYouReady?]

What Hoovie said, Krt.

Many of us are in the same boat. We must learn to focus on Christ alone and the fact that it is His blood that was shed that gave us salvation. Not standards.

Gotta rise above the things we dislike and move on.

[seekerman]

I didn't leave oneness Pentecostalism because someone 'wronged' me, I left because I no longer agreed with much of the doctrine.

Leaving the oneness Pentecostal sect isn't leaving God nor is one's relationship with God compromised by leaving the sect.

[live4him]

Originally Posted by Krt

Not sure where to post this and what to say! Can anyone help me thru this, I tried to search other threads of people going thru this, please leave links if I missed some. Was in UPCI 10 yrs and always felt funny about the "holiness stds" and how strict somethings were. and felt I became so judgemental of others. I felt my other non UPCI friends were more christian like than we were. Alot of things bothered me but yet in UPCI the worship and presence of God and the life changing experiences at the altar are hard to find in other churches. My husband and I haven't been to church for over a yr. I just don't know how to explain how I feel. I am so turned off by church itself now. I have so many mixed feelings inside. I am trying to heal and not have a wall up with God either. and He seems so quiet thru all of this I know He doesn't leave us but I wish He would give my husband and I more guidance and answers... and healing... any advice? does it just take time? can you share what you have been thru if you have gone thru something like this? thank you....

well I have been UPCI for years and was dissappointed about what was going on in the church. what i am talking about is like example i started seeing shorter skirts, and makeup and cut hair and television etc. well it started bothering me. i dont wanna judge anyone but i was raised with all these standards and really didnt have a problem with any of this. i lived it hard. well what broke the camels back was there was a minister here in town who went and told other ministers that we had a television and we didnt. ths minister was a friend of ours and he was in our home. and second of all why would I lie, well another minister called my hubby and said someone called him. now why would a minister of the faith cause so much discord. it bothered me. i started getting angry and came to a point of not even wanting to go back to church. i ended up backsliding but not for long. i cut my hair and started wearing pants. etc. i came to a point where I didnt care, it tore my family up for what i did. and conviction fell on me so hard. our desire is to be in the ministry. i knew i have failed but God brought me out of this, it was a tough situation. and i know things are gonna come my way. I started thinking that i didnt need to abide to the obeying of the pastor. but my spirit was wrong. i wanna live this hard. i do not beleive in television. now if someone wants to have a television thats fine. im not condemning, i beleive in holiness but because of one mans discord I almost lost my faith. I am thankful for Gods changing power. I love the Lord with all my heart and i am striving to become of another organization. I dont care to much for UPCI but i will not condemn. there are good people but i have changed my organizion in the future but God is working it out.

[live4him]

Originally Posted by seekerman

I didn't leave oneness Pentecostalism because someone 'wronged' me, I left because I no longer agreed with much of the doctrine.

Leaving the oneness Pentecostal sect isn't leaving God nor is one's relationship with God compromised by leaving the sect.

just courious what part of the doctrine u have a disagreement with?