Single Apostolic Men -VS-Single Apostolic Mothers

missdkendall · #1 03-18-2008, 02:07 PM

So, the question came up at our church the other night between a few friends. I thought I would ask you all what you think. What do you think the chances of a single Apostolic guy, to choose to be with a girl that is Apostolic, and Holy Ghost filled, but already has a child??? Inquiring minds want to know!!!!!!

TRFrance · #2 03-18-2008, 02:24 PM

It happens all the time.

It's just a matter of whether the guy minds raising a kid that's not his own. Some guy's are fine with that. Others prefer not to.

missdkendall · #3 03-18-2008, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TRFrance

It happens all the time.

It's just a matter of whether the guy minds raising a kid that's not his own. Some guy's are fine with that. Others prefer not to.

So it doesn't matter that she has a child already, just if he is ready for one.... I'll take that to the youth group

TRFrance · #4 03-18-2008, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missdkendall

So it doesn't matter that she has a child already, just if he is ready for one.... I'll take that to the youth group

I cant speak for all men, of course. I just know how a lot of us men think, and what I've heard other men say about situations like that.

There are a lot of possible reasons and considerations...

Some men feel like they would rather start off with a clean slate, instead of taking on a kid that's just not theirs biologically.

Others may feel like they would rather go a few years into the marriage just getting used to being a married man, without having to instantly take on the role of being someone's father.

Others (especially if the kid is older) might be uneasy as to whether a child will accept and give them that respect as their father, the way they feel their biological child would.

Others might not want to deal with drama (possible conflicts, visitation rights, etc) from the "baby-daddy" if he's still in the picture

And I'm sure there are a bunch of other reasons out there.

But at the end of the day, I would like to think that most Apostolic men would prefer to marry a single mother who is a good and holy woman of God, than marry a woman who is childless, but whose walk with God is not where it should be.

missdkendall · #5 03-18-2008, 03:26 PM

I could not agree more. You know how young girls are though. THey are so worried they will never get married if they already have a baby. If they wait on the Lord, it will happen. I think...............

RandyWayne · #6 03-18-2008, 04:00 PM

I already had a son when I met my wife and she had no problem with it. He lives with his mother full time but I see him regularly. In fact, we'll be picking him up this Thursday morning and I will have him through Easter.
And he calls my wife "Gail" -which is as it should be.

It's a shame that more guys aren't accepting of kids that the mother may have already. As far as expecting to be called "Dad" by her kid(s), unless the biological father is completely out of the picture, DON'T! They are HIS kids more then yours, which can make any such situation very complicated.

missdkendall · #7 03-18-2008, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

I already had a son when I met my wife and she had no problem with it. He lives with his mother full time but I see him regularly. In fact, we'll be picking him up this Thursday morning and I will have him through Easter.
And he calls my wife "Gail" -which is as it should be.

It's a shame that more guys aren't accepting of kids that the mother may have already. As far as expecting to be called "Dad" by her kid(s), unless the biological father is completely out of the picture, DON'T! They are HIS kids more then yours, which can make any such situation very complicated.

Wow, another great way to look at it. You guys are pretty smart

HeavenlyOne · #8 03-18-2008, 04:35 PM

Sadly, there are lots of Apostolic single men with kids, but because they don't step up to the plate, the mother is the one with the 'proof', and he's off the hook.

missdkendall · #9 03-18-2008, 04:39 PM

But do you think men in church look at the single apostolic mothers differently than they do the ones without children?

HeavenlyOne · #10 03-18-2008, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missdkendall

But do you thing men in church look at the single apostolic mothers differently than they do the ones without children?

Depends on their maturity level.

For instance, I'm 38 years old. It's a given that I probably have children at my age. If someone looks down on me for that, they aren't mature enough to handle it, IMO.

However, if I were 17 with children, well, I can expect someone to look differently at me than if I were 38.