New here, with a question. - Page 3

Seeking · #1 11-14-2014, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by good samaritan

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How could you feel more apart of people who scripturally haven't been born again than with people that you share foundational truth with. I hope you find a foundationally true church that would be more welcoming to your wife's differences in belief in regards to dress code, but until then I would hold out and try to be tolerant and respect the churches beliefs as much as you would want them to respect.

I am actually female. My husband was raised Baptist. He is uncomfortable with standards. I do not believe they are essential to salvation, but have lived them in the past and could do that again. I think it is a good way to live, just not necessary to salvation. He really struggles with the idea. For him, not owning a TV or watching sports is a hill he is "willing to die on". I started trying to live standards when we started going to the UPC church. It became an issue and I backed off. It is not my place to lead him. I spent the next 2 1/2 years praying my gizzards out for God to help him in this issue. After in depth discussions, I do not believe this situation will change. I had him contact our pastor and have lunch with him to discuss all of this. Maybe he can help resolve it.
I tried "leading from behind" (modifying my dress and behavior silently) and that does not work with my husband, it just makes him dig his heels in. It wasn't worth the tension. I don't believe it is essential to salvation and not willing to risk our relationship over it.

Rudy · #2 11-15-2014, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seeking

I am actually female. My husband was raised Baptist. He is uncomfortable with standards. I do not believe they are essential to salvation, but have lived them in the past and could do that again. I think it is a good way to live, just not necessary to salvation. He really struggles with the idea. For him, not owning a TV or watching sports is a hill he is "willing to die on". I started trying to live standards when we started going to the UPC church. It became an issue and I backed off. It is not my place to lead him. I spent the next 2 1/2 years praying my gizzards out for God to help him in this issue. After in depth discussions, I do not believe this situation will change. I had him contact our pastor and have lunch with him to discuss all of this. Maybe he can help resolve it.
I tried "leading from behind" (modifying my dress and behavior silently) and that does not work with my husband, it just makes him dig his heels in. It wasn't worth the tension. I don't believe it is essential to salvation and not willing to risk our relationship over it.

Many upc churches have t.v. now. In Louisiana you can find people with wine in the fridge. People wearing shorts too, old people at that.

jfrog · #3 11-01-2014, 01:56 PM

There are oneness churches without the standards... maybe even some UPC churches where standards are pretty lax.

I don't know how you will find those churches. I know when I attended a very standard driven UPC church it was easy to find the churches that did not hold to standards very much because for the most part we all talked about them like they were going to hell.

I don't know if your church does that but if it's very standard driven and it ever fellowships with other churches I bet you can get a sense for which churches are looked down on as inferior due to the standards.

Seeking · #4 11-01-2014, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jfrog

There are oneness churches without the standards... maybe even some UPC churches where standards are pretty lax.

I don't know how you will find those churches. I know when I attended a very standard driven UPC church it was easy to find the churches that did not hold to standards very much because for the most part we all talked about them like they were going to hell.

I don't know if your church does that but if it's very standard driven and it ever fellowships with other churches I bet you can get a sense for which churches are looked down on as inferior due to the standards.

I have never heard anything said from the pulpit. Other than when people go to state camp meeting about 4 hours away, they really don't do any intermingling of churches. I know visiting from church to church in UPC circles is usually frowned upon. I am not sure how you find those churches. In Oklahoma, they are pretty conservative in general. For example, there are some independents that here that left the UPC because they thought they were not strict enough. Other than black denominations like the PAW, I haven't known of one that allows TV.

Seeking · #5 11-03-2014, 03:31 PM

To the person who pm'd me--
I have tried to send a response twice. I can't see it in my sent folder, so I don't know if I am technologically illiterate or you are getting them. I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you. :-)

Seeking · #6 11-03-2014, 10:18 PM

This evening, I was able to speak with two ministers in the administration of the AWCF (Apostolic World Christian Fellowship). They have referred me to a church in the Tulsa area I can try this weekend. The pastor was in the UPC in the past and left and has joined the AWCF. He sounds pretty liberal. I will update later after I visit. There are apparently options out there, but they require a lot of detective work to find.

Rudy · #7 11-04-2014, 09:07 AM

Great!!

Acts 2:38 man · #8 11-09-2014, 08:33 PM

This church thing is becoming more of a problem across denominational lines as time goes on, especially with the shunning and lack of acceptance. It's not just an apostolic church issue. It's a man-made standards issue that keeps people out who don't conform. Have you thought of beginning a home church with YOU teaching the Word and the informality and new people attending would be a fresh change to what you have been experiencing.