Renda? Did I spell that right? OK, here's the deal. I dumped on your "love" thread, I forget the exact title (a really long title, as I recall). You snapped back at me about my "Apostolic Wife". I was told in PM by NOW that you were up night after night tending to your grandchild and may had been a bit irritable. I can remember those days with my own 3 kids. My oldest is 21, so grandkids will be arriving in my life one day.
Since then, I've had some ridiculous, childish, and stupid vendetta against you. I am truly sorry if I dumped in your thread. I am truly sorry if I have offended you. Can we bury the hatchet and move on?
To NOW, I love you man!! You have been the most encouraging voice here for me. I miss your PM's!
You were supposed to email me something and I never got it!
To Azzan, WELCOME!!
To the rest, I'm sorry I've come off as a jackwagon. I would use the 'donkey' word, but not sure if that would suit everyone's sensibilities, lol.
I have been in a very 'unstable' state lately, having not attended an Apostolic church in quite a while and am now trying to establish marital harmony by attending my wife's church on a consistant basis. Trying to live for God instead of Satan. I am trying my best, but that 'OLD MAN' keeps rising up, and I want to beat him INTO SUBMISSION. ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been witnessing so many messages/signals from God lately. Yesterday, some examples:
- A Menonite group was at our campus singing and handing out pamphlets. I went up and shook all their hands, saying 'Jesus is good!' They were grinning ear to ear. I was truly blessed by doing that.
- Went out with my best friend (not a Christian) for lunch and I talked to him about the Bible and God.
- Saw a member of my wife's church on campus, it is a BIG campus and I *never* see someone from her church here.
- Pulled up behind a truck that had a metal fish stuck to the back entitled TRUTH which was swallowing up some other little fish. I was like "AWESOME!!"
Then today:
- Went out to the same Chinese restaurant and a Pentecostal family was sitting behind me.
- And the best one: Opened my fortune cookie and it read: "The only way to have a friend is to be one."
I am currently listening to Tim Hughes sing
"Here I Am to Worship" and have tears literally streaming down my face.
I am SO SORRY, folks. I am reading my bible, trying to live a spiritual life, but it is difficult. Satan still wants me. He literally has me in his grasp.
I want to avoid conflict, debates, strife, as Paul wrote, and just live for God and hopefully receive His Spirit one day.