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Originally Posted by good samaritan
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How could you feel more apart of people who scripturally haven't been born again than with people that you share foundational truth with. I hope you find a foundationally true church that would be more welcoming to your wife's differences in belief in regards to dress code, but until then I would hold out and try to be tolerant and respect the churches beliefs as much as you would want them to respect.
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I am actually female. My husband was raised Baptist. He is uncomfortable with standards. I do not believe they are essential to salvation, but have lived them in the past and could do that again. I think it is a good way to live, just not necessary to salvation. He really struggles with the idea. For him, not owning a TV or watching sports is a hill he is "willing to die on". I started trying to live standards when we started going to the UPC church. It became an issue and I backed off. It is not my place to lead him. I spent the next 2 1/2 years praying my gizzards out for God to help him in this issue. After in depth discussions, I do not believe this situation will change. I had him contact our pastor and have lunch with him to discuss all of this. Maybe he can help resolve it.
I tried "leading from behind" (modifying my dress and behavior silently) and that does not work with my husband, it just makes him dig his heels in. It wasn't worth the tension. I don't believe it is essential to salvation and not willing to risk our relationship over it.
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