(Church family)

KWSS1976 · #1 07-29-2009, 07:55 AM

I see alot of issues with people being hurt leaving there churches etc.etc.etc on here if ya'll don't mind me asking how can you get so close to someone that is not even a direct family member to you..I like my church people don't get me wrong but I keep my distance as to not learn something about someone that I really did not want to know and all the little issues about pastors leaving and changing taking some of the flock with them..Why do some get so involved in all that..

misspresley · #2 07-29-2009, 08:03 AM

My very best friend became such because we went to church (UPC) together for so many years. She and I don't agree on everything, but that kindred spirit has made us like sisters. We have moved away from each other, still talk almost every day and of course go to different churches, which are spirit filled non-denominational churches. There's not enough time to get close to many, but I have a core group of church family that I can call on for prayer needs anytime, and know they're going to pray. The Blood of Jesus has made us family that can be closer to you than blood relatives. And I LOVE my natural family!!!!! God blessed me with a not-so-perfect family for a not-so-perfect me!! People get involved with others because of needs in their own lives - whether we like it or not. Don't know if that addressed your question or not, but this is how I feel about my church family. I love them!

KWSS1976 · #3 07-29-2009, 08:07 AM

So are you saying that you are closer to your church family then your own blood family?

misspresley · #4 07-29-2009, 08:14 AM

I'm AS close to SOME of them as I am my own family. And my blood family feels the same about their church family. Because we're all tied together by His Blood! My blood family can't always be by my side through a crisis, because we're separated by miles. My church family can be there at the drop of a hat and vice versa!

KWSS1976 · #5 07-29-2009, 08:19 AM

See I guess I see it diffrently all my family is close so thats not a problem I just guess I don't want the church getting in my gravey and I don't get in theres so I just keep my distance...LOL See I don't agree with the church helping people pay there car notes,house notes etc..etc..etc I think you should go to your direct family for those issues...

misspresley · #6 07-29-2009, 08:24 AM

I completely agree on staying out of other people's business. I believe churches should have benevolent funds to help people in REAL need. and if you go to family, treat it like a business deal - or be willing to just give it away, no loan. That can tear a family apart.

And not everybody in the church needs to know about spiritual needs - Just like everybody in the family doesn't need to know everything that's going on in your personal life!! Boundaries are good.

Rhoni · #7 07-29-2009, 08:25 AM

It is unhealthy to form closer friendships with your church members than your family. I remember a statement from a family member who went to a funeral of a certain family member and they were offended because all the church people sat in the family section and all the family was left out.

The church isn't your family. Your family is your family.

Blessings, Rhoni

KWSS1976 · #8 07-29-2009, 08:27 AM

Well said Rhoni...

Rhoni · #9 07-29-2009, 09:10 AM

Many times family members hide from resolving conflicts among family members by hiding in the sanctuary of those who agree with them or they take advice of church leadership and friends which continue the family hurts and conflict. People need to learn to resolve their own conflicts between family members without triangulating others into the mix as the others giving counsel do so in their own best interest and not to the healing of families.

Blessings, Rhoni

warrior · #10 07-29-2009, 10:35 AM

Church cannot ever replace the family you've been given by God, but certainly can be an extended family. God has not called us to replace or neglect those who are biologically related to us. Also, I think a person can become friends with members of their congregation. We are not joined at the hip of family members and have individual needs and desires that can be met by others.

So, as long as we continue to walk in love and loyality towards the ones God has given us there should be no problems.

On the other hand, many of us get into situations at church that are not healthy and family members try to warn us and help us with those situations and we become too close to the mirror to really see what others see.
We must remain prayerful in all things.