Before I came to the Lord I was a drinker and a pot smoker. I had gone to a baptist private school for 7th and 8th grade where they got me to call on the name of Jesus for salvation. I felt good. Later in high school I really started to get bad and then to worse after my kidneys failed I turned to drugs and alcohol.
I had a friend that went with me to high school that was also there at the baptist school. We were pretty close and she lived around the corner from me. Well I did not know it but she had been going to the UPC here during that time. A few times she invited me to church but I never went. I did visit a presbyterian and a Methodist church....my family background was methodist but I was raised in an Athiest home (My dad was told I'd get a better education at this baptist school).
While all this was happening, my kidneys failing, the drugs I was also deep into playing Dungeons and Dragons with my friends. One day as I was coming to Dialysis with a tray of food from the cafeteria, I started having chest pains. I was high due to another patient and myself smoking in the parking lot before hand. I thought I was having a heart attack at the time and I sat on the ground when one of the people that worked at dialysis saw me and called a code blue.
All these nurses and doctors rushed to me. One took my Blood Pressure and it was around 260/120. They got me on dialysis and my doctor came in to look at me. I remember praying "Jesus if you get me through this I will never smoke pot again"...they stuck me in the hospital and put me on BP meds.
After I got out, I went to a friends house to see if he wanted to go in on renting an apartment or something (My dad kicked me out). While there he offered me a joint and I smoked it. As I left I got pulled over by a cop and I thought I was going to literally die right there. HE wrote me up for bald tires I think. After that I found a room for rent
I remember having to sleep almost sitting up as I could feel my heart beating hard against the side of my chest. Well around this time all my friends were avoiding me. They'd decided to play that game themselves and without me intentionally. It was during this time that I felt very depressed and thought about suicide. I was also acutely aware that I may end up in hell too. At that time anything I did that was a sin I felt like the Lord was watching. I got a bible from my grandmother....though those baptists got me to call on the name of Jesus in prayer I was never baptized. I always wanted to be baptized and my friend told me that if ever I decided make sure I get baptized in Jesus name...
Well I turned to the only verse I could remember, that my friend showed me,
John 3 about being born of the water. I had one friend that I talked to and he wanted to come over and watch dirty movies the guys I rented from had....it was kind of funny because all I wanted to do was talk abou the bible and I think that made him guilty enough to not watch any movies.
One night I was trying to find something in that bible and did not know where to turn. I closed the bible sort of frustrated and put it down. I prayed then, kinda of like I did when the baptists got me to call on the Lord....I didn't really feel anything. So I prayed, sincerly, "Jesus, lead me with your Spirit to the Truth" (I can still remember that almost 20 years ago)...I didn't even know what "Spirit of Jesus" was or anything like that...Im still not sure why I prayed those words. I had my hands together while I prayed that and at that moment I felt a tingling sensation all over the back of my hand...as though the Lord laid his hand on mine to assure me.
That was Friday night. The next night I was again by myself while all my friends were together playing that game, so I decided to go to golf n stuff. As I was walking around I heard someone call my name and I turned around to find that same friend that invited me years ago to her church. I was surprised as this was near the end of summer and she was supposed to be in Europe or somewhere at that time. I found out later she never went.
She asked me what I was doing and the first thing that came out was I asked her to tell me about her church, tell me about Jesus. As it turned out she was there with the youth group and one of them was a budding preacher. He came over and talked with me some. To be honest I don't have a clue what he said. I just wanted to go to church. The next day I moved out, without a warning, and moved in with my grandmother. Those guys I rented from were mad but I knew I was in the wrong place.
I went to church that night. I remember walking in before the service started and I felt something I had never felt anywhere else I went to. I remember one of the ministers getting up and saying "YOu know I feel like the Lord is really here right now" and in my heart I was saying "He's right. He's right". Then they started to sing and worship and as I was listening to the words I just began to cry.
I found out later on, the youth group had planned to go to Magic Mountain (an hour or so away) and all day long something kept coming up until finally one of the sisters cars broke down and they just decided to go to Golf n Stuff instead (I love how God works).
Well They were telling me about receiving the Spirit and speaking in tongues and stuff and it was a little bit to much for me to receive at the time. I remember that night, driving home to my grandmothers, I went in and turned the TV on. I flipped the channel and there was Jimmy Swaggart. He was talking about.....receiving the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues. It really blessed me and helped me believe this was real more.
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