Have you ever met someone that you just cannot stand? A total personality conflict? There is a new couple who moved from another church and are attending our church now. My husband and I can't stand them? LOL! I can't stand this woman!
I feel terrible because I'm supposed to always care about people - look past the ugly and see why they are hurting or acting the way they do. It's just that I'm having a really hard time with this one. I don't want to gossip about details - just the subject of not liking a person's personality - everything about them! LOL!
I know I need to pray and have been - Lord, bless her, heal her heart..........but when I see her - my prayers seem to be out of the window.
Hoping at some point I can break through that and end up friends, but it's just not looking good.
So, advice or a sharing of similar experience would be nice. I really am trying, honestly........
What I find is that, generally, when I can't stand someone, either they remind me of a bad trait in myself, or they have a bad trait that I don't know how to deal with. I try to find what it is about them that is bothering me (besides, she is such a witch! ) and try to figure out what my shortcoming is. At the same time, I do not use my shortcoming (which may be small compared to theirs.....or not) to beat myself over the head and say I should like them more. It could be they are just a pretty rotton person. But, I can learn something from everybody, even if it is about what I could change about me. And then, I try to be nice.
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Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
LOL! YES! I Certainly know exactly what you are talking about.
As i read this, a certain person popped into my mind! I know exactly what that feels like.
intererstingly enought, I am preaching tonight on the subject of "Looking past the person"
How funny is that?
Well, preach to me then!!! When I am in the same room with her it's like nails on a chalkboard!!!! I need help! LOL
This is serious, I'm thinking - Okay, you will see her tonight - do not drink any caffeine after noon so you will make sure you are thinking clearly and are calm! Do not read anything stressful before church - no news! Do not elevate your blood pressure in any way! LOL!
What I find is that, generally, when I can't stand someone, either they remind me of a bad trait in myself, or they have a bad trait that I don't know how to deal with. I try to find what it is about them that is bothering me (besides, she is such a witch! ) and try to figure out what my shortcoming is. At the same time, I do not use my shortcoming (which may be small compared to theirs.....or not) to beat myself over the head and say I should like them more. It could be they are just a pretty rotton person. But, I can learn something from everybody, even if it is about what I could change about me. And then, I try to be nice.
This is so true and something that I generally always practice - see if the thing you don't like in them is a trait of yours as well.
It would get into gossip if I lined out some things I don't like, so I'll read what everyone has to say and keep the details to myself.
Freak her out and give her a small gift - - maybe a candle you've made.
Prehaps, the way she acts toward you is because she doesn't understand you or feels threatened by you?
Given a gift might break the barrier.
Good idea, but I'm not there yet. I'd feel like a hypocrite. If I gave her a gift, I'd have to be sincerely sincere. That isn't happening this week. LOL! Pray for me!
I do agree with you, in that, I also believe she feels threatened by me. I think as time goes by and she sees that I am NOT competing with her, she will eventually calm down.
PO, one thing you are is honest & I don't mean that in a bad way!
I have met a few over the course of my 26 years of living for God that I called my "Grace Builders" (I am sure I am a "Grace Builder) to someone) & it isn't easy.
Faith is not feeling & Love, God's love, is a choice.
Ever had everything go wrong & then try to be thankful for it?
It goes against our human nature.
My nature says, "I like you, if you like me." "You can't stand me, well, then go fly a kite, I can't help it if you have poor taste!"
Jesus loved everyone & I am sure they were not all like the Apostle John who was I believe a little easier to love.
We have to make a choice to be nice, to love, to serve, to be kind!
Prayer, & sheer will power can help us to achieve this.
When I had someone I did not particularly care for, I would try to find ways to be nice, to be kind, to serve, to love that person.
If you act that way toward them it won't be long before your feelings follow.
Honestly praying for them will help as well.
It is hard to pray for someone for God to bless them & harbour ill feelings at the same time!
Good idea, but I'm not there yet. I'd feel like a hypocrite. If I gave her a gift, I'd have to be sincerely sincere. That isn't happening this week. LOL! Pray for me!
I do agree with you, in that, I also believe she feels threatened by me. I think as time goes by and she sees that I am NOT competing with her, she will eventually calm down.
I think that is the whole reason!
__________________
Master of Science in Applied Disgruntled Religious Theorist Wrangling
PhD in Petulant Tantrum Quelling
Dean of the School of Hard Knocks
PO, one thing you are is honest & I don't mean that in a bad way!
I have met a few over the course of my 26 years of living for God that I called my "Grace Builders" (I am sure I am a "Grace Builder) to someone) & it isn't easy.
Faith is not feeling & Love, God's love, is a choice.
Ever had everything go wrong & then try to be thankful for it?
It goes against our human nature.
My nature says, "I like you, if you like me." "You can't stand me, well, then go fly a kite, I can't help it if you have poor taste!"
Jesus loved everyone & I am sure they were not all like the Apostle John who was I believe a little easier to love.
We have to make a choice to be nice, to love, to serve, to be kind!
Prayer, & sheer will power can help us to achieve this.
When I had someone I did not particularly care for, I would try to find ways to be nice, to be kind, to serve, to love that person.
If you act that way toward them it won't be long before your feelings follow.
Honestly praying for them will help as well.
It is hard to pray for someone for God to bless them & harbour ill feelings at the same time!
Sorry, I am rambling!
Thanks for the kind compliment, Ron! I am trying my best to be an honest Christian.
This is a good post and I think I need to pray a little more. Truthfully, when I read the part where you said, "If you act that way toward them it won't be long before your feelings follow" - I cringed! Lord, help me!! I'm miles away from where I need to be on this one!
Don't you love the times when you are in a prayer meeting or during the song service and His Spirit just melts your heart and everything in the whole world is all right again?!!!
) and try to figure out what my shortcoming is. At the same time, I do not use my shortcoming (which may be small compared to theirs.....or not) to beat myself over the head and say I should like them more. It could be they are just a pretty rotton person. But, I can learn something from everybody, even if it is about what I could change about me. And then, I try to be nice. 
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