According to spiritualabuse.org it is described as ....
What is spiritual abuse? Just as emotional abuse affects one emotionally, while physical abuse inflicts pain and bodily injury on its victim, spiritual abuse affects one spiritually. It is the result of a spiritual leader or system that tries to control, manipulate, or dominate a person. This control is often in the form of fear. This is considered a major factor in mind control or thought reform. There are those who feel the latter comes into play in cases such as these, while others feel the thinking is in error. No matter where one stands, it does not lessen the affects of spiritual abuse.
David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen in The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse describe the action: "It's possible to become so determined to defend a spiritual place of authority, a doctrine or a way of doing things that you wound and abuse anyone who questions, or disagrees, or doesn't 'behave' spiritually the way you want them to. When your words and actions tear down another, or attack or weaken a person's standing as a Christian- to gratify you, your position or your beliefs while at the same time weakening or harming another- that is spiritual abuse."
Does leadership in your church demand you consult with them (or your discipler) before making major decisions or any decisions at all? Has leadership forbidden you to go on vacation or spend time with someone (particularly one who has left the church group)?
Do you find yourself periodically questioning your spirituality or standing with God? Have you been preoccupied with checking out others in the congregation to see who is living up to the rules and who isn't?
Are extra-biblical rules and standards equated as coming from God, with your salvation or spirituality linked to following them? Do you find that cutting or not cutting your hair has now become an indicator of your spirituality?
Has the initial joy you felt when first coming to know the Lord been replaced with worry? Do you feel you're not doing enough or are not good enough and can't live up to what is expected?
Do services uplift and give strength or do you feel sad, beaten down, or depressed afterward? Has your view of God changed to where he is seen as a harsh taskmaster, eagerly waiting for you to mess up so he can chastise you or leave you behind?
If you have experienced any of these, or similar, you may be a victim of spiritual abuse.
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Here are some questions for y'all?
- Does spiritual abuse happen in our circles? -What recourse do victims of spiritual abuse have to deal w/ this issue? - Are those who expose this abuse victims ... or spewers of venom, whiners and standard-haters?
Many on this forum, and past forums, have been under spiritually abusive Pastors/leadership/spouses, ect...but I do not agree to name calling because many times abusers have also been victims. I believe it was James and John who said, "We cannot but speak the things we which have both heard and seen".
Everyone's experience may be different or have a different meaning to them based on thier perception of reality. I do believe though that because of the development of transportation, media, and thus exposure to other peoples, churches, lifestyles...we have been able to see:
I, personally, am glad that I got out of my small world as an Apostolic young person growing up in an ultra-conservative environment, and thrown into the diversity I found/saw at JCM. I am glad I got to see how other people handle things through the years spent evangelizing, and see how other leaders lead when assisting other Pastors. I am thankful for having spent time on both sides of the fence: Pastoral leadership to a saint on the pew. It made me appreciate both.
I said all that to say...many of us have had spiritually abusive people, or situations, in our lives but we don't have to stay there, harbor the blame by continually exposing other people who may have learned their lesson or been forgiven, nor do we have to be bound and continually tormented by the past. Jesus Christ came to break the chains of bondage in each of our lives...it is time now to accept what He has done and be free.
Spiritual abuse is a fact... We can believe anything we want to believe but we do not have to scare people and use all kinds of sermons to "make" them live however we believe...
I actually just finished reading the book referenced above (The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse) and I found it very excellent.
I do believe that there is spiritual abuse. I have personally experienced it, and it has effected my walk with God in numerous ways. In my case, as I was not raised with any knowledge of religion or Christianity, and because I was born again in a spritually abusive church, I was given a distorted concept of God, Church, Authority and the Bible.
Spiritual abuse is a fact... We can believe anything we want to believe but we do not have to scare people and use all kinds of sermons to "make" them live however we believe...
Liberal!
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I've gone and done it now! I'm on Facebook!!!
Dan I will not puke my vomit on this forum but believe me my good wife and I know what it means to be abused by a pastor that we loved and trusted. We felt spiritually and mentally raped and it took years to heal. But as it has been said you can become bitter or better. But I also have been abused by unthoughtful, cold,mean, vicious church members. Yet I do not with cynicism veiw every good saint of God that could not help what some ingrate did. Every saint is not a nasty, ugly, vicious ignorant. Most are kind wonderful loving thoughtful people andy every preacher is not on a ego trip trying to make saint's lives miserable and not living what he preaches. Allow me to do this I repent and publicly apologize for every sleaze that called himself a preacher that has abused and mistreated the saints in his care and turned out to be a fraud.
NOW will someone do the same for the church member who is a hell raiser?
Dan I will not puke my vomit on this forum but believe me my good wife and I know what it means to be abused by a pastor that we loved and trusted. We felt spiritually and mentally raped and it took years to heal. But as it has been said you can become bitter or better. But I also have been abused by unthoughtful, cold,mean, vicious church members. Yet I do not with cynicism view every good saint of God that could not help what some ingrate did. Every saint is not a nasty, ugly, vicious ignorant. Most are kind wonderful loving thoughtful people and every preacher is not on a ego trip trying to make saint's lives miserable and not living what he preaches. Allow me to do this I repent and publicly apologize for every sleaze that called himself a preacher that has abused and mistreated the saints in his care and turned out to be a fraud.
NOW will someone do the same for the church member who is a hell raiser?
Brother Epley,
I am working off of your post here which is excellently written!
I could have looked at everything that I have gone through and experienced in a negative way, but then I remember the scripture in Romans 8:28 "And we know that ALL things work together....."
We were in a service a number of years ago and the message was on Saul and David. Too much detail to include here. After the service my husband and I found out that the Lord had told us the same thing, "I have brought you through many things and am going to do a quick work. Through these things I will bring to your remembrance the things I don't want you to do."
Did I lose sight of that trapping along in life. Sure. I wish I could know exactly how Joseph felt through all his testing after his dreams and promises.
Nevertheless, at some point we have to understand that ALL things work together. We are being made ready. If you want patience, you have to suffer adversity. If you want to overcome, you have to be faced with temptation. If you want to win the prize, you have to keep running.
I Peter 5:10 "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you."
Dan I will not puke my vomit on this forum but believe me my good wife and I know what it means to be abused by a pastor that we loved and trusted. We felt spiritually and mentally raped and it took years to heal. But as it has been said you can become bitter or better. But I also have been abused by unthoughtful, cold,mean, vicious church members. Yet I do not with cynicism veiw every good saint of God that could not help what some ingrate did. Every saint is not a nasty, ugly, vicious ignorant. Most are kind wonderful loving thoughtful people andy every preacher is not on a ego trip trying to make saint's lives miserable and not living what he preaches. Allow me to do this I repent and publicly apologize for every sleaze that called himself a preacher that has abused and mistreated the saints in his care and turned out to be a fraud.
NOW will someone do the same for the church member who is a hell raiser?
Brother Epley, you say it took you years to heal. Based on the things you've said to me and others, I certainly have not seen you show much in the way of compassion towards others faced with abuse issues. Just like it took you years to heal it may take others years to heal and everyone goes through things differently. For me it's easier to push all you minister types away than to just "get over it" and start trusting again. Maybe you should think about that before you start accusing people of being preacher haters.
Hybrid Mode
