What would YOU do?

Margies3 · #1 09-23-2009, 01:27 PM

I can't even imagine! Did you you see this on the news?
A couple in Sylvania, Ohio (the next town over from me) are pregnant with a baby conceived invitro. But it is NOT their baby. They thought it was. But then received a call from the clinic telling them otherwise............

http://toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll...WS16/909220358

How in the world could you decide how to handle this??? If you've carried this child for 9 months, you have to have an attachment to him. But still, he's not yours. So what do you do???

What would YOU do??

Cindy · #2 09-23-2009, 01:29 PM

OMW, that is hard to think about. Bless their hearts.

Margies3 · #3 09-23-2009, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cindy

OMW, that is hard to think about. Bless their hearts.

Cindy, I'm betting that they had to think long and hard about it.

*AQuietPlace* · #4 09-23-2009, 01:35 PM

I think I would give the baby up. For me, even though I bond with the baby I'm carrying, it's nothing like the bonding that happens after the birth. I would just adjust my mind to the fact that this was not my baby, and I'd give it to the proper parents.

Margies3 · #5 09-23-2009, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *AQuietPlace*

I think I would give the baby up. For me, even though I bond with the baby I'm carrying, it's nothing like the bonding that happens after the birth. I would just adjust my mind to the fact that this was not my baby, and I'd give it to the proper parents.

that's an interesting perspective, AQP. Having never given birth, I honestly don't know how much a woman bonds with the baby while it is still inside. I do know that in both cases with our boys, the second I laid eyes on them I was filled with a love that is deeper than any I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams. I would have laid down my life for either one of them two seconds after I met them. On the other hand, we interviewed for several other children while in the process of adopting. In none of those cases did I feel that INSTANT bond in the same way that I did with both Justin and Keith. And the thing is the bond was there even before we were told that we were the parents who had been chosen for them.

I've often wondered tho, how much women bond with their babies BEFORE they are born? Or is it mostly after they come into the world?

kristian's_mom · #6 09-23-2009, 01:51 PM

You definitely love your child and feel protective of them while they are in the womb, but the love grows to impossible depths after they are born.

Margies3 · #7 09-23-2009, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kristian's_mom

You definitely love your child and feel protective of them while they are in the womb, but the love grows to impossible depths after they are born.

so I'm wondering, Kristian's Mom, what would you have done in these people shoes?

There is no wrong answer here, by the way. Cuz I have NO idea what I would have done.

Would it have made a difference if the baby you were carrying was going to be your FIRST child instead of your fourth??

We did one invitro attempt when we were trying to conceive. I know that I would have been devastated if I had been these people. But I don't honestly know if I could have given it back to them or not. I wonder how the court would rule in a case like this??

ILG · #8 09-23-2009, 02:05 PM

That is a horrible, horrible, situation. I commend them for how they are handling it.

kristian's_mom · #9 09-23-2009, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Margies3

so I'm wondering, Kristian's Mom, what would you have done in these people shoes?

There is no wrong answer here, by the way. Cuz I have NO idea what I would have done.

Would it have made a difference if the baby you were carrying was going to be your FIRST child instead of your fourth??

We did one invitro attempt when we were trying to conceive. I know that I would have been devastated if I had been these people. But I don't honestly know if I could have given it back to them or not. I wonder how the court would rule in a case like this??

It's hard to know how I would feel unless it was me actually going through it, but I think it is the right thing to do, to give the baby to his biological parents. But I would want to somehow be involved in the child's life, known as an Aunt or something like that.

It definitely would be different if the kid was older. What if they had found out when he was like 2 years old? In that case, someone would have to kill me before they could take my kid away even if he wasn't mine biologically. The bond really does grow deeper over time.

I can't say how I would feel if it was my second or third kid, because I only have one son. I can say though, that I am glad I am not in their situation.

yisraelm · #10 09-23-2009, 01:40 PM

I for one would not consider in vitro fertilization.