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  #1  
Old 01-17-2009, 09:33 AM
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Digging4Truth Digging4Truth is offline
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Why You Should Never Question A Drunk

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
  • A half-gallon of 2% milk
  • A carton of eggs
  • A quart of orange juice
  • A head lettuce
  • A 2 lb. can of coffee
  • A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the
cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six
items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you're absolutely right…But how on earth did you know?'


The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly'
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  #2  
Old 01-17-2009, 11:28 AM
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Re: Why You Should Never Question A Drunk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Digging4Truth View Post
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
  • A half-gallon of 2% milk
  • A carton of eggs
  • A quart of orange juice
  • A head lettuce
  • A 2 lb. can of coffee
  • A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the
cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six
items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you're absolutely right…But how on earth did you know?'


The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly'
LOL! Well, I guess he figured you walked right into that one.

Guess what I did at Wal-Mart the other day? I dropped a dozen eggs in the cereal aisle. NO one saw me, but I went and got an employee to clean it up!
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Old 01-17-2009, 01:44 PM
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Re: Why You Should Never Question A Drunk

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Originally Posted by ILG View Post
LOL! Well, I guess he figured you walked right into that one.

Guess what I did at Wal-Mart the other day? I dropped a dozen eggs in the cereal aisle. NO one saw me, but I went and got an employee to clean it up!
Ever see "Mr. Mom?"

"Cleanup on aisle 5"

"I was never in aisle 5!"

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My Countdown Counting down to: Rapture. Again.
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  #4  
Old 01-17-2009, 02:14 PM
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Re: Why You Should Never Question A Drunk

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Originally Posted by Timmy View Post
Ever see "Mr. Mom?"

"Cleanup on aisle 5"

"I was never in aisle 5!"

No, I guess that's an inside joke I don't get!
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Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb

When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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Old 01-17-2009, 03:17 PM
RandyWayne RandyWayne is offline
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Re: Why You Should Never Question A Drunk

Quote:
Originally Posted by ILG View Post
LOL! Well, I guess he figured you walked right into that one.

Guess what I did at Wal-Mart the other day? I dropped a dozen eggs in the cereal aisle. NO one saw me, but I went and got an employee to clean it up!
But..... did you tell the employee that YOU were the one to drop them?
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Old 01-17-2009, 03:18 PM
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Re: Why You Should Never Question A Drunk

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Originally Posted by RandyWayne View Post
But..... did you tell the employee that YOU were the one to drop them?
Yes. I apologized and said I made a big mess and they needed to get someone to clean it up. Maybe I should have looked around and bolted?? LOL!
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Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb

When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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Old 01-17-2009, 03:41 PM
RandyWayne RandyWayne is offline
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Re: Why You Should Never Question A Drunk

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Originally Posted by ILG View Post
Yes. I apologized and said I made a big mess and they needed to get someone to clean it up. Maybe I should have looked around and bolted?? LOL!
Not bolted, but quietly hung around and waited for an employee to "discover" it. Then subtly "pointed" down the isle and mouth the words "...he went that way....".
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  #8  
Old 01-17-2009, 05:15 PM
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Re: Why You Should Never Question A Drunk

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Originally Posted by RandyWayne View Post
But..... did you tell the employee that YOU were the one to drop them?
A couple of days ago I was in the checkout line with several items. My 14 year old grandson was helping me unload the cart. When he picked up an item out of the cart, a package of blueberries tipped over, spilling blueberries all over the floor. I just told the clerk, "We made a mess," and gave her the empty package so it could be written off. I had already asked an employee there to clean it up.
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Old 01-17-2009, 11:31 AM
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Re: Why You Should Never Question A Drunk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Digging4Truth View Post
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
  • A half-gallon of 2% milk
  • A carton of eggs
  • A quart of orange juice
  • A head lettuce
  • A 2 lb. can of coffee
  • A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the
cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six
items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you're absolutely right…But how on earth did you know?'


The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly'
D4T,

I read this to my family. I made sure to tell them it was not an email forward......it is that good!!
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb

When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
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  #10  
Old 01-17-2009, 12:29 PM
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Digging4Truth Digging4Truth is offline
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Re: Why You Should Never Question A Drunk

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Originally Posted by ILG View Post
D4T,

I read this to my family. I made sure to tell them it was not an email forward......it is that good!!
LOL... actually it is an email forward... I got it in an email this morning and I thought it was pretty funny.



I guess I should have pointed that out.
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