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-   -   Self Help Book Suggestion? (https://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com/showthread.php?t=31792)

Praxeas 10-07-2010 04:49 PM
Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingOne (Post 971229)
No, they left the UPC and started their on gig. They expanded the UPC stuff and added a whole lot of their own rules about how to get to heaven.
Oh. That sounds dangerous. They are trying to keep people out, like they have something to hide. Did they have the guards when they were UPC?

Where is this church?

SeekingOne 10-07-2010 05:35 PM
Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praxeas (Post 971233)
Oh. That sounds dangerous. They are trying to keep people out, like they have something to hide. Did they have the guards when they were UPC?

Where is this church?
Yes, they have much to hide. It can take years of visiting before you will know the half of it, and then you might be a member for years before you learn some things. "Oh, but they are so sweet. All the things people that have left say about them are just blown out of proportion or flat out lies." That is what people say about them. Well, part of that is true. They are all very sweet people, but what people say about them is true too.

Oh the "guards" are because people are not ready for the "truth" yet. On the side of the fence I am on now, that translates as that they haven't had time to brainwash them yet. They do it slowly over a period of years so that it becomes your idea and you actually feel privileged that you are worthy of membership.

It isn't a place for the stupid and unintelligent people. They have lawyers, doctors and a LOT of really smart people. Hey, they almost suckered Sis. Alvear into their cult. Then when she left they kept her and her spiritual mom from contacting each other. Yeah, they think the Alvear's are going to hell. LOL Sad but true.

SeekingOne 10-07-2010 05:49 PM
Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by missourimary (Post 971181)
Coadie: http://www.nndb.com/people/265/000091989/

SeekerOne: You might want to check into articles dealing with ostracism or teen pressures and bullying from a purely secular standpoint. Even reading novels or watching movies about how people deal with these issues might help. (To Save a Life is one example of a movie that deals with this issue.) Reaching out to others who have also been shunned also helps, as long as those people don't continuously express anger and bitterness toward those who've wronged them.

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotion...dvice_for_Kids)
http://www.doxtop.com/browse/89d4b03...ial-death.aspx
Thanks, I think you might have the right direction for this person to go to.

SeekingOne 10-07-2010 07:15 PM
Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam (Post 971109)
I would suggest the Spiritual Abuse Website
and their group called Christian-- Koinonia Support
at
http://www.spiritualabuse.org/
and
http://www.spiritualabuse.org/supportgroup/index.php

They have a group on Facebook at
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref...08470765842875
This website requires that you identify yourself, so that one is out. Thanks though.

Sam 10-07-2010 09:50 PM
Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingOne (Post 971320)
This website requires that you identify yourself, so that one is out. Thanks though.
You cannot join unless you tell who you are. That's correct. You have to apply for membership.
That is a safeguard to try to keep spammers out and trollers and fighters out.
You do not have to use your own name to post and the other members on there don't know your identity.
I have been a member there for years.
I use my real name but I wouldn't have to.

*AQuietPlace* 10-07-2010 09:54 PM
Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 
I don't have a book suggestion... but I think it's similar to a grieving process. You have to allow time to grieve, and then you have to come to grips with the way things are. You have to some way, as hard as it is, accept the new reality. You need to make new friends, build a good life for yourself. You can't get new family, though, so it's a constant pain, I'm sure.

Also, pray for the whole family's deliverance. This person was delivered, so it's not out of the realm of possibility for the entire family to have their eyes opened.

Truthseeker 10-08-2010 05:09 AM
Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingOne (Post 971049)
What book would you suggest for someone who isn't getting over leaving a church that doesn't allow them to have contact with their family and friends because they left that church?

This person still loves all those people, sees those people wherever they go to shop and is becoming a depressed recluse. People tell this individual to just pretend they died and get on with life, but they face these people all the time so they can't pretend they are dead.

I know there some books on cults, and I would say they left a cult, but I don't know of any books that deal with facing family and friends that are the same as family but knowing you will never have a relationship with them again. Has a book been written about this?l

I don't want this post to start another series of attacks on the UPC way of shunning. It is terrible and wrong for sure, but what we need is a way to help those that have left such movements and their only "sin" is leaving the cult and living for God.
"The subtle power of spiritual abuse"

Pro31:28 10-08-2010 07:02 AM
Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by coadie (Post 971152)
You gave a very vivid example. I had an employee with an issue with a person outside my company. I helped her innitiate with the other party and they cried and became best friends. Neither lady knew how to approach it and I helped one break the ice. They became friends.
That is great, but when people are told that if you talk to the people who left you are going to end up on the slippery slope to hell, just like they are- it tends to keep people from approching the ones who left.
The people who stayed at the church were TOLD by the pastor NOT to fellowship or even communicate with us! Since you are there to mediate, Codie- How do you suggest this be handled?

BTW this was 13 years ago and these people are 3000 miles away- so I do not see them anymore, I am simply stating that you are either unaware of how upsetting and serious this is or you are simply ignoring the fact that it is happening.

SeekingOne 10-08-2010 01:43 PM
Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pro31:28 (Post 971448)
That is great, but when people are told that if you talk to the people who left you are going to end up on the slippery slope to hell, just like they are- it tends to keep people from approching the ones who left.
The people who stayed at the church were TOLD by the pastor NOT to fellowship or even communicate with us! Since you are there to mediate, Codie- How do you suggest this be handled?

BTW this was 13 years ago and these people are 3000 miles away- so I do not see them anymore, I am simply stating that you are either unaware of how upsetting and serious this is or you are simply ignoring the fact that it is happening.
Weird how they think by treating people this way will make them feel like coming back. I wish the leadership did not blackmail people this way. Both those still there and those that left are very hurt by all of this.

Truthseeker 10-08-2010 03:30 PM
Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 
It's can be a form of witchcraft, word curses. The will curse others with words to try to manipulate others.


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