Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

Sounds like Heritage Homestead, or maybe Sherman?

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

What's Sherman?

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

http://www2.psy.unsw.edu.au/Users/rr...ain%20ride.pdf
Another good article on the affects of ostracism, as compared to aggression and acceptance. It doesn't offer outright ways to deal with it, but a person might get some ideas on how to handle their own situation from it.

The first three pages are very revealing. The charts throughout the paper also have some very good information.

When people shun me, I write and talk and imagine. I imagine arguing with them and telling them off, even if I couldn't in person. I talk to others about the problem, and I write about the problem, coming to some sort of resolution at some point of either what I could do differently in the future or an understanding of what I did right. I also tend to focus on what the other person might think or feel and how my actions might impact their behavior. I didn't realize how much control that gave me until reading that paper.

One thing I've noticed... It's the ones that I smile and wave at that ignore me and act like I don't exist. When I don't notice someone, they are more likely to say hello... especially if they get the impression that I'm ignoring them. I'm not good at ignoring people, and don't recommend it, but the more your friend gets out, gets involved with other people, and enjoys him/herself, the less the shunning will affect him/her, and the less the person will probably actually be ignored.

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

Being shunned isn't so painful to those that leave Homestead, it would be more like running into your favorite blood relative and not being able to go up to them, hug them and things like that. You are reminded that you can't ever go to their house again, share holidays and special occasions, have them over for dinner, and share the love you have for each other ever again.

They feel pain too, they are just doing as they are told, and some don't shun but it doesn't ease the pain. It is easier on them though, because they still have the 100's of relatives that they can be with, they only lost a few people, and they believe that you will return if they treat you the way they are taught. They have hope, you have none.

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

I've heard of Homestead and can only imagine.

No article or book is going to give your friend the exact answers that s/he needs. Every situation is different. On top of that, every person has a little different ways of learning and dealing with situations.

But for the last sentence, they have a kind of hope, but those who leave can have hope too. It's a different kind of hope, but it is hope.

I wish you and your friend the best.

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

It sounds like they need a visit from Broken Pulpit Ministries. Where is this hell hole?:angry1

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

Texas

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

There is a family in our church that escaped from Homestead, they are doing wonderfully. They seemed to be so free, and very in love with the Lord.

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

Did the wife finally come to her senses? Did Homestead Heritage finally just tell her that she would have to leave her husband if she wanted to continue to go to Friday night meetings?

Also, they don't live in Waco, so they are free from daily reminders - running into everyone at every turn every day. They also do not have family members still there that they are not allowed to see and talk to.

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

Yes, I knew it was in Texas.... but is it a set-up like Homestead?

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

JWs do the same thing. For me running into them around town would not bother me. In fact that would be an opportunity to show them what the love of Christ is really about.

However the husband/wife situation is bad and unbiblical

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

Don't know how it transpired, but she seems to be very happy now, the girls also seem to be fitting in, though the still dress very conservative, uncut hair and all.

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

No, a UPC church that went off the deep end, then were disfellowshipped, I believe. http://www.faithchurch.us/

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

This helped a LOT! Thanks for the suggestion. I am reading from an unusual translation too. I helps to not hear the verses quoted so often that pushed their agenda when we read.

It is hard to explain unless you have been there. It's like, some come to this forum and argue what different Bible verses mean, right? Well in a cult they use the Bible too. And just like people here, they have their own interpretation of scriptures. THAT is why when we get out we don't know truth from a lie. Some scriptures are not left for interpretation, like "do not commit adultery" but so many other doctrinal scriptures are interpretive. And boy can they be twisted this way and that.

So when you get a church that believes they are Jesus in the flesh and that they have a special light that others haven't received yet, using scripture to back up what they believe, it is dangerous. I am telling you, they use scripture so well that lawyers, doctors, college professors are sucked in.

Anyway, to be able to sit and read without "hearing" what we have been told it means helps a lot. Thanks

Re: Self Help Book Suggestion?
 

I just read this thread.

How sad.

My former pastor retired, the new pastor was installed and this new pastor promptly told the members that they were no longer to have any contact with the former pastor. They couldn't call him to wish him a happy birthday, anniversary, say hi how are you doing?
The new pastor also told the retiring pastor he and his wife could no longer have any contact with the former members either.
In effect they booted the pastor and his wife from the church.
What a crushing blow that was and still is to this wonderful man of God and his wife.
I told the retiring pastor the new pastor must have a spiritual death wish.

What's wrong with some people????