Are you a victim or a survivor?

[Malvaro]

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed Him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him.

Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man. I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

Have A Great Day!

By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

[Michlow]

Originally Posted by Subdued

Actually, yes; I believe it was a SMALL comfort to my daughter when I told her that the pain that she felt from her injury was normal and that it, indeed, would come to an end.

Of course, she still felt the pain, and cried while asking, "When, Mom?" But she heard my words, which brought a bit of comfort.

I also think it helped to alleviate some fear. She was afraid that the pain she was feeling was beyond what was normal. She wondered if something was wrong with her because the meds didn't seem to be touching the pain. When I explained to her that sometimes the medication isn't strong enough and that she may need more, or another, it let her know that she was "normal."

So, yes; I think it helped HER in some small way. However, she still felt just as much pain and she still took just as long to heal.

Well then let me specify that the knowledge that everyone in the world has sucessfully battled this and much faster and apparently with a better attitude, doesn't help me one stinkin' bit.

Between this and the constant "get over it" crowd, I am feeling a little cranky today. All I am getting from this is a feeling of being rushed and intense pressure to heal on demand.

So now I am tense and irritated with the whole lot of you, this forum, and believers in general.

[Malvaro]

Don't let stress kill you, let the Church help! hehehehe

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by Michlow

Well then let me specify that the knowledge that everyone in the world has sucessfully battled this and much faster and apparently with a better attitude, doesn't help me one stinkin' bit.

Between this and the constant "get over it" crowd, I am feeling a little cranky today. All I am getting from this is a feeling of being rushed and intense pressure to heal on demand.

So now I am tense and irritated with the whole lot of you, this forum, and believers in general.

Ummm... Michlow...

I'm the one who keeps posting over and over that healing takes time, sometimes much more than even the "experts" predict, and that one should not be rushed... there is a healing process (steps that must be taken which takes time). I've also written several times that some wounds do not heal properly; thus they must be REopened in order to HEAL... Again, there's a process to THAT... TIME - it takes TIME... CARE... ATTENTION... TREATMENT.

But don't you want SUPPORT through your healing process? It may not take away your pain and it may not speed up your healing; but doesn't it give you any hope at all????

[Michlow]

Originally Posted by Subdued

Ummm... Michlow...

I'm the one who keeps posting over and over that healing takes time, sometimes much more than even the "experts" predict, and that one should not be rushed... there is a healing process (steps that must be taken which takes time). I've also written several times that some wounds do not heal properly; thus they must be REopened in order to HEAL... Again, there's a process to THAT... TIME - it takes TIME... CARE... ATTENTION... TREATMENT.

But don't you want SUPPORT through your healing process? It may not take away your pain and it may not speed up your healing; but doesn't it give you any hope at all????

Sigh....

The Truth is, I really don't care if I ever heal or not. I am just fine on the journey. I guess in a way, I feel like I have already healed, the God part is healed, the rest I don't so much care about. As to whether or not I want support. That's tough to decide. On one hand, I don't trust people, so I'm not really sure how they could support me anyway.

But on the other hand, I am extremely frustrated with ignorant people, who think that because they haven't experienced it, it isn't real. Or because they got over it along time ago, that I should too.

And beyond that, as I mentioned I am cranky and when I get cranky, I get contentious which means even if I agree with you, I am gonna argue

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by Michlow

Sigh....

The Truth is, I really don't care if I ever heal or not. I am just fine on the journey. I guess in a way, I feel like I have already healed, the God part is healed, the rest I don't so much care about. As to whether or not I want support. That's tough to decide. On one hand, I don't trust people, so I'm not really sure how they could support me anyway.

But on the other hand, I am extremely frustrated with ignorant people, who think that because they haven't experienced it, it isn't real. Or because they got over it along time ago, that I should too.

And beyond that, as I mentioned I am cranky and when I get cranky, I get contentious which means even if I agree with you, I am gonna argue

Okay.

[LaVonne]

Originally Posted by Malvaro

With all the "I've been hurt by (fill in the blank)" and "sheep-bashing pastors/preachers" threads that are all so prevalent on AFF.... I thought I'd ask the question that few are bold enough to ask around here....


A victim is never able to get over their anger and bitterness, thus God is never able to bind up their wounds because of their unwillingness to let go, and spend the rest of their days thinking of themselves as a victim and martyr in life....


A survivor gets over their anger and bitterness, seeks God to bind up their wounds and hurts, and looks for any positives that have helped them become a better person through their bad experience(s)....


Face it! Everyone here on AFF has been hurt by someone during their lifetime!

So are you a victim or a survivor????

I'm a survivor!!!

[tbpew]

Originally Posted by Michlow

Sigh....

And beyond that, as I mentioned I am cranky and when I get cranky, I get contentious which means even if I agree with you, I am gonna argue

wow, I just had a virtual idea!
maybe the way we have emoticons for use in posting...we could get a kind of person "sticky-note" that we could put on our username that is based on any specific sign-in occurrence.

This virtual "lapel button" could be a kind of "mood ring" that would be of service to anyone who is engaged in discussion with a button wearer.

Ultra radical thought....
we do not pick our own BUTTONS! but instead, our displayed button is based on a super-majority (66.7%) of the last 12 posters who chose to vote concerning the button we should display! With this approach, it is not a case of right or wrong, just strictly based on readers perceptions.

We could judge each others hearts, since afterall, we love doing this and no man knows the heart so we obviously ARE qualified! (tic)

[Michlow]

Originally Posted by tbpew

wow, I just had a virtual idea!
maybe the way we have emoticons for use in posting...we could get a kind of person "sticky-note" that we could put on our username that is based on any specific sign-in occurrence.

This virtual "lapel button" could be a kind of "mood ring" that would be of service to anyone who is engaged in discussion with a button wearer.

Ultra radical thought....
we do not pick our own BUTTONS! but instead, our displayed button is based on a super-majority (66.7%) of the last 12 posters who chose to vote concerning the button we should display! With this approach, it is not a case of right or wrong, just strictly based on readers perceptions.

We could judge each others hearts, since afterall, we love doing this and no man knows the heart so we obviously ARE qualified! (tic)

LOL, we could even have red alerts! "Watch out for Mich today! She's super-sensitive! Just agree with her, and keep the unity"

[Malvaro]

Originally Posted by Malvaro

theres a teaching series.... From a Victim to a Conqueror!

victim -> survivor -> overcomer -> conqueror

on a side note.... i just got the green light to begin teaching the next 12-week series.... From a Victim to a Conqueror!

I will be teaching about three stages rather: victim -> survivor -> overcomer/conqueror

I have already started week 1 and have begun pooling resources together.... I'm excited about teaching on this topic, I feel that God is going to show our class some awesome things in the Word....