Prominent Memphis Area Pastor Resigns

[houston]

Originally Posted by Monterrey

I stand corrected. Had trouble hearing the audio.

Old...

[OnTheFritz]

Originally Posted by Chateau d'If

This.

And when their own imperfections are exposed they hide behind the compassion and mercy they previously refused to give others.

This.

I've been blessed to sit under pastors who are truly compassionate. But there does seem to be a correlation between the heaviest handed leaders and their tendency to fall hard in the areas that were most preached against.

[The Lemon]

Sometimes the "connection" is not made (or not consistant) because they are out of balance in their life.

I know of some 20+ year marriages that have failed - both ministers and others, one thing I noticed in the ministry was burnout - when a person gives constantly in ministry and has nothing left for the home...guess what suffers??

I can't tell you how many times I have heard of ministers wives who are depressed, and despise not only their respective role in ministry, but also their husband and even the church - the same can be true of the husband. When there is no "coming together" and no deep emotional connection between spouses...there is a great storm coming..PERIOD.

No wonder Paul said he would prefer folks to be like him. After all, when you marry, a husbands duty is to please his wife, and the wife her husband....you can't do this as an absentee husband / wife / or father. The way we "do church" is half the problem in my opinion.. and that goes from the top down. Here is a noval idea:

1. Stop running a Church like a profit center
2. Make a living using skills and education outside the ministry - thus preventing the survival temptation to live off of people's free will generosity
3. Don't train saints to expect you to be there at every bekon call
4. Set the stage for personal growth and accountability and quit coddling saints for 30 years on the pew
5. Stay out of the politics in organized religion...politics is bad regardless of where it is
6. Don't play to the crowd and to your peer group...be you and be honest
7. Stick to principle and drop tradition where you can
8. Don't try to protect your image...just be a Christian
9. Preach the truth in love
10. Prefer your wife and children over other people, organizations, expectations.


There...

[mizpeh]

Originally Posted by Chateau d'If

This.

And when their own imperfections are exposed they hide behind the compassion and mercy they previously refused to give others.

Most of us have to learn the hard way. Thank God for his grace toward all of us.

[OnTheFritz]

Originally Posted by LooneyLucy

...I think the real problem "in the church" is that there is not enough marriage training? or teaching? whatever you want to call it. Women marry preachers many times, just because they are a preacher no matter what the man looks like, just for the prestige of being married to a preacher. Then the man gets this beautiful wife and if he does not know how to connect with her on an emotional level, their intimate life will be VERY minimal. Face it, men need sex. If he goes years without gettin it at home, he will find it somewhere. Too many of my friends have gotten divorced in the last 2 years, leaving 20+ years of marriage and their "preacher" husbands, either he cheated or her.

He wants sex, but doesn't know how to give his wife the emotional aspect to make her want it, and since he doesn't fulfill her emotionally she looks for another man to fulfill her in that manner.

Men are DUMB in most marriages, they think it's all about the mechanics, when in reality it's about that emotional connection.

This is a pretty insightful post.

Though as a man, I think that boiling down the issue to men being dumb is a little ... Well, dumb .

Complex systems fail in complex ways. Both men and women have to work hard to understand each other's "systems". It does NOT come natural - which I find baffling, by the way. So much of it isn't about intelligence. It's about emotion and to a large extent, hormones, of course . Trust me, it would be easy for us to call the woman's perspective "dumb." Just sayin'.

[KeptByTheWord]

Originally Posted by LooneyLucy

...I think the real problem "in the church" is that there is not enough marriage training? or teaching? whatever you want to call it. Women marry preachers many times, just because they are a preacher no matter what the man looks like, just for the prestige of being married to a preacher. Then the man gets this beautiful wife and if he does not know how to connect with her on an emotional level, their intimate life will be VERY minimal. Face it, men need sex. If he goes years without gettin it at home, he will find it somewhere. Too many of my friends have gotten divorced in the last 2 years, leaving 20+ years of marriage and their "preacher" husbands, either he cheated or her.

He wants sex, but doesn't know how to give his wife the emotional aspect to make her want it, and since he doesn't fulfill her emotionally she looks for another man to fulfill her in that manner.

Men are DUMB in most marriages, they think it's all about the mechanics, when in reality it's about that emotional connection.

This is a really good post. More time needs to be spent in marriage counseling before a marriage to ensure both man and woman understand the physical and emotional needs of each other.

[LooneyLucy]

Originally Posted by The Lemon

Sometimes the "connection" is not made (or not consistant) because they are out of balance in their life.

I know of some 20+ year marriages that have failed - both ministers and others, one thing I noticed in the ministry was burnout - when a person gives constantly in ministry and has nothing left for the home...guess what suffers??

I can't tell you how many times I have heard of ministers wives who are depressed, and despise not only their respective role in ministry, but also their husband and even the church - the same can be true of the husband. When there is no "coming together" and no deep emotional connection between spouses...there is a great storm coming..PERIOD.

No wonder Paul said he would prefer folks to be like him. After all, when you marry, a husbands duty is to please his wife, and the wife her husband....you can't do this as an absentee husband / wife / or father. The way we "do church" is half the problem in my opinion.. and that goes from the top down. Here is a noval idea:

1. Stop running a Church like a profit center
2. Make a living using skills and education outside the ministry - thus preventing the survival temptation to live off of people's free will generosity
3. Don't train saints to expect you to be there at every bekon call
4. Set the stage for personal growth and accountability and quit coddling saints for 30 years on the pew
5. Stay out of the politics in organized religion...politics is bad regardless of where it is
6. Don't play to the crowd and to your peer group...be you and be honest
7. Stick to principle and drop tradition where you can
8. Don't try to protect your image...just be a Christian
9. Preach the truth in love
10. Prefer your wife and children over other people, organizations, expectations.


There...

You sound like a very wise person, indeed.

[KeptByTheWord]

I would like to say this about this situation.... Bro. Black should be very thankful that he gets a chance to repent, and find grace in his situation now. Many preachers have lived double lives, and died, never repenting of their wicked ways, awaiting the judgment day with the stain of sin on their record.

I would say that this is a blessing for Bro. Black, as in the case of King David... to be able to have a chance to repent and hopefully find his way back to a merciful and loving God in this life.... I am praying that is the case for he, and his family. I would rather deal with unrepented sin here on this earth with a chance to apply the blood, and start over, then to wait until eternity to meet with God.

[LooneyLucy]

Originally Posted by OnTheFritz

This is a pretty insightful post.

Though as a man, I think that boiling down the issue to men being dumb is a little ... Well, dumb .

Complex systems fail in complex ways. Both men and women have to work hard to understand each other's "systems". It does NOT come natural - which I find baffling, by the way. So much of it isn't about intelligence. It's about emotion and to a large extent, hormones, of course . Trust me, it would be easy for us to call the woman's perspective "dumb." Just sayin'.

I apologize for using the word "DUMB" but it happens to fit my circumstance and many many husbands I have had the misfortune of knowing, who are married to women I know.

[LooneyLucy]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

I would like to say this about this situation.... Bro. Black should be very thankful that he gets a chance to repent, and find grace in his situation now. Many preachers have lived double lives, and died, never repenting of their wicked ways, awaiting the judgment day with the stain of sin on their record.

I would say that this is a blessing for Bro. Black, as in the case of King David... to be able to have a chance to repent and hopefully find his way back to a merciful and loving God in this life.... I am praying that is the case for he, and his family. I would rather deal with unrepented sin here on this earth with a chance to apply the blood, and start over, then to wait until eternity to meet with God.

Amen! Some end up like Achan, with no space to repent and some like the prodigal.