Pornography and Disability

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by notofworks

Suuuurrrre, you do.

No, really, I've actually dealt with a couple with this issue. It didn't really turn out so well for them.

But the terminology you used.....there are many people who use porn to "rev the engines", which was the point I was trying to make which resulted in several yelling at me that I was wrong. It's actually a VERY serious problem with many porn users and they get to the place they can't have sex unless they've viewed porn. It's a very serious problem.

Very serious.

Self-esteem of the other partner would fly out the window for sure.

[Socialite]

Originally Posted by notofworks

Suuuurrrre, you do.

No, really, I've actually dealt with a couple with this issue. It didn't really turn out so well for them.

But the terminology you used.....there are many people who use porn to "rev the engines", which was the point I was trying to make which resulted in several yelling at me that I was wrong. It's actually a VERY serious problem with many porn users and they get to the place they can't have sex unless they've viewed porn. It's a very serious problem.

I think initially it allows them to "come out" about their porn addictions, and somehow fuse it together with their marital bed, let the experience happen with the woman they are committed to, etc... it's a way of justifying it almost. The 2 cases I've heard about (one from the husband) it all ended bad. Exciting and fun for awhile, then horribly bad.

[notofworks]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Very serious.

Self-esteem of the other partner would fly out the window for sure.

Absolutely. And THEN, they understand that their partner isn't really having sex with them, but who they're imagining.

[scotty]

Originally Posted by notofworks

I don't think there's any need for touchiness about this issue. I can't believe there's a single male member of this forum that hasn't viewed porn at some point or another.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by notofworks

Absolutely. And THEN, they understand that their partner isn't really having sex with them, but who they're imagining.

Yep.

[Socialite]

Originally Posted by notofworks

I don't think there's any need for touchiness about this issue. I can't believe there's a single male member of this forum that hasn't viewed porn at some point or another.

Sadly, I have to agree. The exposure has long passed the occasional household where dad had a stash of centerfolds, to xxx porn on iphones, sexting, dvds... you name it. It's everywhere.

[notofworks]

Originally Posted by Socialite

I think initially it allows them to "come out" about their porn addictions, and somehow fuse it together with their marital bed, let the experience happen with the woman they are committed to, etc... it's a way of justifying it almost. The 2 cases I've heard about (one from the husband) it all ended bad. Exciting and fun for awhile, then horribly bad.

Yes, because just like marijuana quite often, the "basic" thing isn't good enough. Porn celebrates many dysfunctions such as group sex, spouse-trading, etc., and when couples share porn, they very frequently advance to the "next stage." After a while, the simple act of sex just isn't good enough.

[Socialite]

Originally Posted by notofworks

Yes, because just like marijuana quite often, the "basic" thing isn't good enough. Porn celebrates many dysfunctions such as group sex, spouse-trading, etc., and when couples share porn, they very frequently advance to the "next stage." After a while, the simple act of sex just isn't good enough.

So the cases I'm familiar with did advance... eventually included a threesome (it was a stranger, and that made it okay for them).... this particular couple, it was the husband who initiated the porn idea... months later it turns out he was sleeping around with prostitutes... and this guy has a hot wife who, as he would say, "is down for anything." (There goes that theory)

[notofworks]

Originally Posted by Socialite

Sadly, I have to agree. The exposure has long passed the occasional household where dad had a stash of centerfolds, to xxx porn on iphones, sexting, dvds... you name it. It's everywhere.

And the internet porn industry knows how to break through every filter, pretty much. For example, when Promise Keepers was at its height, the "Industry" realized it was a great opportunity to get male customers and used every variety of letter combinations for possible misspelled words and initials so that when men tried to access the Promise Keepers website, they ended up, accidently, on a porn page.

[MissBrattified]

I think there are a lot of men (and maybe women, too) who minimize how hurtful this is to their spouse. If you're unfaithful with your heart, it's damaging to your relationship. If you do something that hurts your spouse on purpose (meaning you know in advance that they will be hurt by it), even if you feel like it's acceptable, you are damaging your relationship.