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[HeavenlyOne]

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

If you don't think your divorce and remarriage have had ANY affect on your children, you are living in denial. While I admire the fact that you are in a stable marriage today (and don't know the details, nor care to, of your divorce), divorce is one of the most traumatic things for children.

I'm not married. Was twice and left them both. And I agree that it affected my children, but you wouldn't know it. They have beaten all the stats and expectations.

Your sexuality doesn't affect parenting? Are we raising up rocks or people? Confused gender roles. Inability to relate to others at school. False ideas about families. You see being a dad and mom as indepedent of who you are. You seem to think it's direct behavior with the child. Who you are says more than what you do.

This debate would be formed differently if you were an atheist. But you're A CHRISTIAN!!!!!

Jeff, I've been both mother and father to my children. And you speak about gender roles and confusion? False ideals about families? My kids have no idea!! They never have, and never will, until they have their own families, and I hope they get married and stay that way so their children don't endure what they went through.

And I'm in the process of moving, so I might not get back here until tomorrow sometime, or maybe later tonight. This computer is at my old house because they can't turn the cable on at the new house until sometime next week.

But I like the discussion.

[HeavenlyOne]

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

Where's an icon that shows the man speaking out of both sides of his mouth?

So being a mom and dad is like being a cop, taco bell employee or secretary?

Your ideas of parenting sound very warped. I'm sorry to be so blunt.

Perhaps it's because I'm both mother and father, and have been for most of my kids' lives. And since I was also raised without a father, I don't have a clue what a real home life should be like. Perhaps that's why I have the views I have, I'm not sure.

[Jeffrey]

Originally Posted by HeavenlyOne

I'm not married. Was twice and left them both. And I agree that it affected my children, but you wouldn't know it. They have beaten all the stats and expectations.



Jeff, I've been both mother and father to my children. And you speak about gender roles and confusion? False ideals about families? My kids have no idea!! They never have, and never will, until they have their own families, and I hope they get married and stay that way so their children don't endure what they went through.

And I'm in the process of moving, so I might not get back here until tomorrow sometime, or maybe later tonight. This computer is at my old house because they can't turn the cable on at the new house until sometime next week.

But I like the discussion.

Bless you for being the best you can as a mother to your children. But don't ever fool yourself that you have filled the place of a father to them. Are you prepared to make your situation a model for other's to follow? Wouldn't you agree one father and one mother is right?

You don't think your kids know anything about gender roles? They are not growing up seeing mom and dad in each other's embrace. Children are very smart and emotionally perceptive.

[HeavenlyOne]

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

You keep contradicting yourself. Just say what you mean, and mean what you say.

As a Pentecostal I've personally witnessed many families have to jump through some serious hoops over their religion. Especially families that didn't own televisions. They'd rather two men raise a child, than that child not have a television.

You may not intend to advocate that, but you're reading right from their playbook and it's what your ideas imply. If sexual orientation doesn't make them any less able to be a parent, why wouldn't you advocate for them????

I would advocate anyone to parent a child who is able to do it properly, regardless of their lifestyle.

A friend of mine is a foster parent, along with her husband. She had three black children and two white children in her care two years ago. She wanted to adopt all five. The black children had the same parents, and the white children also had the same parents.

The black children who's parents were both in prison for over three years got out and wanted their children back. Those children had been in my friend's home, called them mom and dad, and were active in church and school from the time they were taken away.

The white children also had parents that were on drugs but weren't in prison. Those children were also placed with my friend from the day they were taken (the baby came straight to her from the hospital).

The state decided that my friend, being white, wasn't good enough to adopt those black children and returned them to their parents.

The white children, however, were allowed to be adopted after the parents were told that their rights were being terminated.

Within six months, the black children were back in foster care, and their parents back in prison. My friend, however, didn't receive those children back, and will not. She went through too much hell the first time trying to straighten them out, only to have them put back in the filth they were taken from.

Now, I don't know where they are, but if they happened to be with gay parents, it's certainly better than being with their own. If gay people can adopt those boys and love them and provide for them, they will turn out better citizens than if they remained with their own parents.

Have you gotten my point yet? That's not advocating for gay parents.

And now I must leave for a while. See ya soon!

[HeavenlyOne]

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

Bless you for being the best you can as a mother to your children. But don't ever fool yourself that you have filled the place of a father to them. Are you prepared to make your situation a model for other's to follow? Wouldn't you agree one father and one mother is right?

I totally agree, but in my situation, I had no choice.

No, I'm not a daddy, but there's a lot I had to teach my son that daddies usually teach.

You don't think your kids know anything about gender roles? They are not growing up seeing mom and dad in each other's embrace. Children are very smart and emotionally perceptive.

I agree, and my children are that.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by HeavenlyOne

Jeff, I have been married and divorced twice. I have been a single parent longer than a married one. My ability to parent both of my children didn't change as my marital status changed. And if I were to have a woman for a partner, I also don't see how that choice would affect the kind of parent I am to my children. I'm puzzled why you think that changing your sexual orientation would mean you are less of a parent to your children. In what way would that affect the kind of dad you are today?

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

Do you know anything about fostering? Hetero parents that have Christian homes have far more hoops to jump through. Many give up on fostering all together, or adopt a foreign child instead of through the state.

Your logic just strikes me as odd. Since there's screwy parents out there, no ideals about who should be parents anymore. That's just insane. You ARE advocating for gay parents to be the norm. How are you not? You said they are just as good as any other loving parents.

Originally Posted by HeavenlyOne

Again, I don't watch anything on TV that portrays gay people. I don't condone that lifestyle in any way, and I don't care what the show is really about.

I'm still not sure how sexual orientation makes someone less of a parent if they choose to have a same-sex partner vs. one of the opposite sex. To me, it's like telling someone that because they are gay, they aren't as good of a police officer, nurse, lawyer, or burger flipper than someone who isn't gay.

HO, I am agreeing with you on this one. My ex-sister-in-law 'came out' & she actually became a better parent. Both of my nephews are in college and doing well. They are both heterosexual.

Parenting is not something we get a trial run on and many times, no matter our sexual orientation, we make mistakes. Children tend to be resilient and we can pray for our homosexual friends, colleagues, and acquaintances...that is all we can do. Judging parenting based on sexual orientation is judgemental and the responses about abuse, ect are irroneous for the most part.

Blessings, Rhoni

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

HO, I am agreeing with you on this one. My ex-sister-in-law 'came out' & she actually became a better parent. Both of my nephews are in college and doing well. They are both heterosexual.

Parenting is not something we get a trial run on and many times, no matter our sexual orientation, we make mistakes. Children tend to be resilient and we can pray for our homosexual friends, colleagues, and acquaintances...that is all we can do. Judging parenting based on sexual orientation is judgemental and the responses about abuse, ect are irroneous for the most part.

Blessings, Rhoni

The jabs about my spelling are the best some can do about presenting their points of view [which says something about their views] besides I am an excellent speller - I just can't type.

[HeavenlyOne]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

HO, I am agreeing with you on this one. My ex-sister-in-law 'came out' & she actually became a better parent. Both of my nephews are in college and doing well. They are both heterosexual.

Parenting is not something we get a trial run on and many times, no matter our sexual orientation, we make mistakes. Children tend to be resilient and we can pray for our homosexual friends, colleagues, and acquaintances...that is all we can do. Judging parenting based on sexual orientation is judgemental and the responses about abuse, ect are irroneous for the most part.

Blessings, Rhoni

Studies have shown that children who come from broken homes and abusive situations follow suit. I'm an exception, and so are my children. But then again, it goes back to the parenting that's done, whether by mom, dad, hetero, or homo. Parenting skills aren't dependent on sexual orientation in any way.

If either of my children (God forbid!) were to be gay, I'd love them, although I wouldn't condone their lifestyle. If they decided to have children in that relationship, they would be my grandchildren, and those children would NEVER hear me speak negatively about their parents.

Then again, it's no different than if either of my children were to decide never to get married, and just shack up with someone and make a family. I wouldn't condone what they are doing, but I'd love them and their children all the same. In neither situation do I believe their parenting skills would be affected simply because of their sexual orientation or their lifestyle.

Oh, and I'm at my friend's house waiting for his kids to get home from school, thus the reason I'm back online before I said I would be. LOL!

[Jeffrey]

Is anyone else shocked at the ideas on this thread?

[Hoovie]

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

Is anyone else shocked at the ideas on this thread?

Indeed. I believe children being in a home where homosexuality is openly advocated and practiced is abusive to those children - regardless of other circumstances.