Did you mourn leaving the UPC?

[ILG]

There are a couple of pastors and their wives in the UPC that I will always hold near and dear to my heart. They were with us through some horrible things. I love them and always will. We did not tell them when we left what we were doing. I felt really bad for that but felt we had no choice. They would have tried to get us to stay and there was no room for discussion or maybe they would have felt they needed to tell the district. To this day, we have never discussed it in depth. We got a Christmas card from one of the couples and their Christmas photo is on our mantel. I'm glad they send us a card but aside from a rare email that is all the contact we have. There will always be a heart bond but things can't be the same and I just accept that as a fact.

[aegsm76]

Getting ready to stir the pot here...
I have seen many that have "left the UPCI", which I think really means they have left the UPC's standards of holiness.
Some of these are even family members.
The curious thing that happens is, although they still believe the Acts 2:38 message, their children do not.
This is almost without exception.
Just curious...

[Praxeas]

BTW some people leave and look back shaking their fists and spitting. Why would I believe that they'd want to have a pleasant conversation with me on the street? Then when someone walks by them without a "hello" and without them saying "hello", how they feel justified in saying it wasn't them but the group they left?

[Real Realism]

Originally Posted by n david

First I was afraid...

I was petrified.

Kept thinking I could never live outside the UPCI.

BTW,

[Sasha]

Originally Posted by obriencp

There is def a mourning process. There will be those welcoming you with open arms, those from your past (or current) that don't understand but still show support, and those who will judge you as lost. It's not an easy decision and I felt like I was set free, but was afraid to walk out of the "cell" so to speak.

Isn't this how everyone feels when they leave one church to attend another unless it's because of relocation?

I have heard this same thing come from those with Baptist, Catholic, Lutheran, and cultic backgrounds alike. They all have this same story. It's not unique with the UPC.

[Sasha]

Originally Posted by Ferd

This right here is a two way street my friend.

I have on many occasions reached out to people I considered very good friends who left the UPCI....when I stayed.

NOT to try to pull them back, but simply to continue our friendship.

in almost every one of these situations, our friendship ended. Not because I ended it but because my "friend" left me when they left the org.

i get tired of hearing this refrane over and over. so many of you that leave, WANT to be hurt and WANT to blame everyone else.

well guess what? that isnt the only way it happens.

I have to say that I have many friends in the UPC who are truly my friend. There are some who think I'm heathen, but they thought that when I was in the UPC too. LOL!

I do believe it's a bit different for ministry, however. My pastor and his wife have gone and still go through horrible ordeals about their past and leaving it to become 'charasmatic'. So I can't compare myself to people like that since I have always been a nobody in the church.

[Praxeas]

Hey, my Pastor is UPC and they go through Ordeals from former conservatives types that left the UPC (and some that still are in it) lol

[Real Realism]

Originally Posted by aegsm76

Getting ready to stir the pot here...
I have seen many that have "left the UPCI", which I think really means they have left the UPC's standards of holiness.
Some of these are even family members.
The curious thing that happens is, although they still believe the Acts 2:38 message, their children do not.
This is almost without exception.
Just curious...

This is why it was crucial for us to attend a church that still teaches the Acts 2:38 message (without the standards). For the sake of our children, we did not want to compromise by attending a church where baptism and/or the Holy Ghost were take it or leave it concepts. We have found 3 churches in our area that claim to preach Acts 2:38 publicly. (Though we've yet to attend any, so confirmation of the fact remain to be seen.)

[FlamingZword]

Originally Posted by Real Realism

This is why it was crucial for us to attend a church that still teaches the Acts 2:38 message (without the standards).

I would like to point out that all churches have standards.

however the standards are different and also how standards are enforced are differently.

In the UPCI the usual way is to impose some 1950's standards and then say that unless you dress like that then you are lost.
But then what about the Amish? don't they have standards that are even more strict than the UPCI?
and for the ultimate in modesty how about Catholic nuns, or even islam women dressed in burkas?

Other churches may have lower standards but they still have them, if you do not believe it then try to attend their services naked or in a bikini.

[Real Realism]

Originally Posted by FlamingZword

I would like to point out that all churches have standards.

however the standards are different and also how standards are enforced are differently...Other churches may have lower standards but they still have them, if you do not believe it then try to attend their services naked or in a bikini.

Of course. Splitting hairs here. I'm using shorthand for a concept we all are familiar with and understand. In other posts on this forum, I've described the UPC standards I disagree with as "the holy trinity" of standards - being disallowing pants on women, cut hair, and jewelry/make up. But, of course that doesn't even encompass everything they believe and teach (shorts on men, beards, etc). And of course, my family has standards. There are things we don't do because we don't feel comfortable.

But - regardless - yes, everyone has standards. And you and everyone else knew when I meant when I said "no standards".