Never heard of the Christian Cowgirl song but remember this one?
The Lord's Army
I'm in the Lord's Army
I'm in the Lord's Army
I may never march in the infantry, ride in the calvary, shoot the artillary
But I'm in the Lord's Army.
"I may never fly over the enemy..."
I had that song in my head all afternoon until I remembered the missing part. I had to clap my hands together and "shoot the artillery..." in order to get it back.
I had that song in my head all afternoon until I remembered the missing part. I had to clap my hands together and "shoot the artillery..." in order to get it back.
I had that song in my head all afternoon until I remembered the missing part. I had to clap my hands together and "shoot the artillery..." in order to get it back.
There are multiple reasons why. I choose to look at things progressionally. God leads us to higher levels of revelation in him as we mature in relationship with God.
I am a very difficult person to change but when you have banged your head against a wall for several decades then it is time to listen to God and change.
If you want more specific than that you might look around you and the saints that go to your church and see how much is just "fitting into the societal structure" and what is truly of God.
Blessings, Rhoni
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhoni
That is just it - Jesus is not a "Cult Leader". He set us free from that "Cultish behavior". Drinking His cup is not drinking the kool-aidas is drinking the cup of religiosity!
Blessings, Rhoni
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhoni
You know; I used to think I was special but now I know I am just like everyone else. I have made many mistakes, followed wrong paths, and served lesser gods unknowingly. AT this point the only one that can help me is Jesus Christ and He alone.
You, and others like you can pray for me because that is the only thing that will make any difference to me right now.
Thank you though,
Rhoni
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Alvear
I have not walked in Rhoni´s shoes...but we all limp one way or the other...
Rhoni, we both know the HG is real and it is people not God that inflicts our wounds...I was stabbed more this past year than ever before...hurt deeper than ever before...some people will never be the same to me...BUT God did not do it...some of his children did it...sometimes we all want to run...stop the spinning and get off...but life continues...people are the same...Many times pastures look greener across the field but when you get there it is the same story...humans...
We all stumble...as human he too stumbled ...we all have our calvaries...via dolorosas...
I am praying for you...
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJJJ
Rhoni, you know what is amazing? When people say they want to be like Jesus! They are thinking of walking on water, healing the sick etc. What Jesus is thinking of, when they say that, is stripes on your back and a crown of thorns. As like Sis Alvear, at the end of the road you will have many scars, stab wounds and stripes to show. Then and only then will we be like Him!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhoni
You did understand. I am "Christian", as the term "Pentecostal/Apostolic" has so much negative connotation for me and many others that I do not want to be associated with the term and many of the people.
Sis CS, it is you, and others like you that I have no toelrance for so what you think of me is of no consesequence.
Sis. Alvear, I do understand the concept of what you are saying but you must understand that for me to allow myself to be put in the position of another inflicting these same open wounds would be egregious on my part - wouldn't you say?
Respectfully, Rhoni
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhoni
As much as I strive to be like Christ _ I am NOT Christ and do not have the same capabilities of rising above the injustices and hurts. I haven't thought of being "Used" by God in a positive sense in a long time. "Used" is a very negative term for "suffer", and that I have done...more than you know.
Blessings, Rhoni
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neck
I have not left the church and hold to many of the doctrines that are meant to be preached. Not the fables. I believe in parables not fables.
The actions of the hardliners on this forum us embarrassing to say the least.
It is again the old kick them when they are down.
If you were to try and reach someone who is leaving your mothership.
Are you sure these comments are the Godly approach?
I don't think so...
Much of the UPCI that I have live for the past 40 plus year was cultish.
Plain and simple.
It was control through fear and pressure..
Which by the way tears down faith.
Since faith is personal and we are not called to fear.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marthaolivia
Rhoni:
I walked out of church approximately 30 years ago ( an independent-AMF-) because Of a lot of what I perceived then as plain ole interfering church ladies, and when my husband left because he said he could not live 'that way' meaning Apostolic, my then pastor told me that my place was with my husband. That didn't happen. Anyway, I could never forget about God, and it was only His love, mercy and compassion that I am in church today (UPC) I still don't fit the 'mold' and some people in church openly tell me that I am doing everything wrong since I trim my hair and wear a little make-up, but now I'm like a duck--I let the remarks roll off my back. My pastor has never been negative toward me in any way. He's the greatest! He has said from the pulpit that he is not our police but our pastor. All I can say is that it is between me and God now. I don't worry about what others think of me.
From some of your posts, I have sensed a lot of hurt and anguish. Who am I to judge you? I have never walked in your shoes but I understand. I only wish you the best in whatever decision you make. Just never let go of His hand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OneAccord
I haven't read the entire thread, but I will say this. As long as you remain "A Christian" I can still call you "Sister", Sister. I kinda believe when you call yourself Christian, well, that makes you more Pentecostal/Apostolic than any of us. Including Dan A.
This is just an update on my journey. From the time I made a wrong turn and went to a "cultish" church [non-UPCI but just another form of the same, ex-UPCI] and once again fell prey to an authoritarian Pastor who espoused grace but was more controlling and legalistic than any I had come into contact with previously...
I have just been resting in Jesus and returned to a church where I knew the people loved Jesus and they also love me. Sometimes you wonder how things will turn out and if God will validate, vindicate, or bring resolution to a situation, but God has been doing just that.
The scripture rings true in my ears..."Be not deceived, God is not mocked, whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap." God does not just stand by an watch his children being used and abused...he does rescue, vindicate, and restore.
I am going to 2 UPCI churches who are not the status quo for UPCI but they have the same message I believe and would die for...Acts 2:38, but they function in love and grace and not authoritarian legalism. God changes hearts, individuals, churches, and even organizations.
The heresy hunters are still with us. Only now, instead of stakes, they use their books and radio programs to destroy those they consider heretics.... I'm concerned that heresy hunting may be turning into leukemia because some cultwatchers seem more intent on destroying parts of the body than healing the body....
I put Baptist because the Baptist show more love to us than do other Apostolics.... that's sad isn't it...
I was telling a friend the other day that my self esteem was/is so battered d/t the way I have been put down and abused in Apostolic circles that I rely on my AOG friends and backsliders to get any affirmation or kind words.
Apostolics, not all, but most are so self-righteous that they don't realize how unChristian they are most of the time. If you just had proper manners it would be more Christlike than the stuff that is spewed from the lips of those who are supposed to love and care about your soul.
In the past 5 years I have totally become a basket case and had to seek counseling. The PH.D I go to asks me why I go back to those churches and ask for more. I have to think about it...just like any other victim of abuse, I have been so beaten down that I don't think I deserve better and at least I know what to expect.
I watched Yentyl again on TV the other night [it has been 30 years since I last saw it] and I saw myself. At the end when Barabar Striesand/Yentyl had the choice to marry the man she loved after telling him she was truly a woman [for those of you who don't know the story - she disquised herself as a man to study the Tulmud {she was Jewish], she asked him if she could continue to study the Tulmud and he told her she didn't need to that he would do it and take care of her and she could stay home, have babies, and he would take care of her spiritual needs. She told him that she would not accept that. She wanted to be free to be herself and seek scriptures and relationship to God for herself. That is what I feel has happened to me.
I was telling a friend the other day that my self esteem was/is so battered d/t the way I have been put down and abused in Apostolic circles that I rely on my AOG friends and backsliders to get any affirmation or kind words.
Apostolics, not all, but most are so self-righteous that they don't realize how unChristian they are most of the time. If you just had proper manners it would be more Christlike than the stuff that is spewed from the lips of those who are supposed to love and care about your soul.
In the past 5 years I have totally become a basket case and had to seek counseling. The PH.D I go to asks me why I go back to those churches and ask for more. I have to think about it...just like any other victim of abuse, I have been so beaten down that I don't think I deserve better and at least I know what to expect.
I watched Yentyl again on TV the other night [it has been 30 years since I last saw it] and I saw myself. At the end when Barabar Striesand/Yentyl had the choice to marry the man she loved after telling him she was truly a woman [for those of you who don't know the story - she disquised herself as a man to study the Tulmud {she was Jewish], she asked him if she could continue to study the Tulmud and he told her she didn't need to that he would do it and take care of her and she could stay home, have babies, and he would take care of her spiritual needs. She told him that she would not accept that. She wanted to be free to be herself and seek scriptures and relationship to God for herself. That is what I feel has happened to me.
Blessings, Rhoni
Hey, Rhoni. It's good to ask yourself why you return again and again, but don't beat yourself up for it. It is obviously human nature. If you go back again and again, it's because something isn't resolved. Tearing yourself away won't resolve it. Only delving into yourself and resolving the issue will cure the desire to go back. As it is, I sometimes romanticize what I had, but I don't have the desire to go back...only to reclaim the dream. And I realize the dream is embodied in another form and the key is to continue the search to find it.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
Hey, Rhoni. It's good to ask yourself why you return again and again, but don't beat yourself up for it. It is obviously human nature. If you go back again and again, it's because something isn't resolved. Tearing yourself away won't resolve it. Only delving into yourself and resolving the issue will cure the desire to go back. As it is, I sometimes romanticize what I had, but I don't have the desire to go back...only to reclaim the dream. And I realize the dream is embodied in another form and the key is to continue the search to find it.
Absolutely ILG!!!!! I need to remember that I am LOOSED and be secure enough in my skin to stand up and not allow people to curse my life and my calling. I am working on it
Blessings, Rhoni
Linear Mode
