I need help!!!

[Jermyn Davidson]

Originally Posted by n david

I'll likely be the lone ranger here, (again), but I think JD "acted stupidly" -- to use obama's quote.

Miss B, I'm sorry but you're incorrect. Mandatory reporting depends on the state. Not all states have mandatory reporting laws. JD had no "obligation" to report anything. Missouri law does not require mandatory reporting by ordinary citizens. Unless JD is a MO social worker, teacher, physician, nurse, counselor, child care provider, law enforcement officer, etc...he had no legal obligation to report anything. The reason the local Christian school workers you know got in trouble is because they worked in a mandatory reporting job. Had they just been the neighbors (again, depending on the state) they wouldn't have had to report.

I don't mean to insult you here, Jacob, but it has to be said. Does anyone know Jacob? JD, do you know him? How long have you known Jacob and his family, JD? Here's the problem: Jacob puts a post online, makes a claim and JD runs off and calls law enforcement. He doesn't know if it's the truth or not. Has no idea what's actually going on. "Here I come to save the day!" In reality, as Jacob said, you likely made things much worse.

After about JD's involvement, I read an interesting post from Jacob..."Well he just screwed everything up." And, "I didn't want to be in the system, again.."

So I'm sorry, but I'm not congratulating JD for doing what he did. I don't believe it was right. He has no knowledge of Jacob or his family. And again, I'm sorry Jacob, but I worked with enough teens in my life to have met many who lied about their parents or situation just so they could do what they wanted.

From your posts, it seems you want to run off and get engaged to this girl. I'm not a betting man, but I'd go out on a limb and say your parents are against this and have forbid it. So you decided to create a plan to get out of the house and get engaged to your girl.

If I'm right, and I could very well be completely wrong, but I've seen this scenario before; and if I'm right, you're right as well in saying JD screwed everything up. Because reporting allegations of abuse of any kind against parents could not only put Jacob in foster care, but could cause tremendous legal troubles for his parents. For all JD knows, they could be decent people.

Are you suggesting that I need to see XXXX happening before reporting XXXX-- even if the victim tells me XXXX is happening?

If the accusations are true or false, that's for the Investigators to figure out.

I didn't screw up anything and I am shocked that you don't see the ethics in reporting XXXX when someone plainly tells you that XXXX is happening.

[n david]

Originally Posted by JacobSauceda

Thank you for seeing it my way. If I wanted to get them involved, I have the number myself.

It's not that I see it your way. I just don't believe people should run off and accept every claim made in an online forum as the Gospel truth.

I would say the majority of claims made are untrue and because of another person doing what they felt was right, in the heat of the moment and without thinking it through clearly, it causes more problems than if they'd just left it alone.

[n david]

Originally Posted by JacobSauceda

This is what I'm hoping for. The only thing is I now feel bad for my parents.

Why do you feel bad for your parents? Did you tell JD the truth, or was it something you made up in an effort to gain support for you leaving your home?

If it's the latter, you're definitely not the first who's done this. But you do need to make it right and apologize to your parents.

[n david]

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

It's not creepy at all and it took less than 10 minutes-- with the help of Google.

Yeah, that is a bit creepy...and stalkerish. Especially if he didn't give you the information personally.

[A239]

Originally Posted by n david

Why do you feel bad for your parents? Did you tell JD the truth, or was it something you made up in an effort to gain support for you leaving your home?

If it's the latter, you're definitely not the first who's done this. But you do need to make it right and apologize to your parents.

They are foster parents and will loose their licenses. Probably the best though.

[A239]

Originally Posted by n david

Yeah, that is a bit creepy...and stalkerish. Especially if he didn't give you the information personally.

Thank you.

[n david]

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

Are you suggesting that I need to see XXXX happening before reporting XXXX-- even if the victim tells me XXXX is happening?

If the accusations are true or false, that's for the Investigators to figure out.

I didn't screw up anything and I am shocked that you don't see the ethics in reporting XXXX when someone plainly tells you that XXXX is happening.

What I'm stating is you acted in the heat of the moment, without taking time to think clearly.

If Jacob told you a story which wasn't true as a way to get your support for him moving out of his home, then you've cause serious damage.

The reason I'm cautious is because I was in youth ministry a long time, and have seen this too many times before. Teen gets mad at mom and dad, so they make up a story.

Your statement here shows your lack of real compassion or understanding of the effects of what you did:

"If the accusations are true or false, that's for the Investigators to figure out."

Sure, what you said is true, but did you think about if it's indeed false. Jacob could get in more trouble for making a false report. His parents could be dragged through the mud for no fault of their own. He could be put in the system again. And his parents could be burdened with huge legal fees.

Bottom line is this: you can claim ethics or whatever, but you need more knowledge of the person making the accusation before getting involved.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by n david

It's not that I see it your way. I just don't believe people should run off and accept every claim made in an online forum as the Gospel truth.

I would say the majority of claims made are untrue and because of another person doing what they felt was right, in the heat of the moment and without thinking it through clearly, it causes more problems than if they'd just left it alone.

n_david,

If you are on staff at any church, school, or any other place where you are ever charged with the care of minor children, you should know better than this. If a minor confides that they have been abused physically or sexually, it must be reported immediately. You don't investigate it yourself first to see if its true; you report it and let authorities sort it out.

In the case I mentioned earlier, the staff members went to jail, in part, BECAUSE they were looking into the matter themselves. Bad decision.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by n david

...The reason I'm cautious is because I was in youth ministry a long time, and have seen this too many times before. Teen gets mad at mom and dad, so they make up a story.
...
Sure, what you said is true, but did you think about if it's indeed false. Jacob could get in more trouble for making a false report. His parents could be dragged through the mud for no fault of their own. He could be put in the system again. And his parents could be burdened with huge legal fees.

Bottom line is this: you can claim ethics or whatever, but you need more knowledge of the person making the accusation before getting involved.

Let me explain to you why this is a bad idea and why the proper action is ALWAYS to let authorities sort it out:

My husband and his siblings were raised in an extremely abusive home. My husband worked up the nerve one time to run away and tell some family friends what was going on. They immediately picked up the phone and called his father and he had to go right back home--to an even angrier parent.

The right thing to do is call the authorities. Even if people are inconvenienced, and even if it turns out to be untrue. Period.

IF they had called the cops, my husband and his siblings would have been placed in foster care while it was sorted. That would have been a better situation for them, no doubt about it, and there would have been an official complaint made.

[Sasha]

Originally Posted by n david

What I'm stating is you acted in the heat of the moment, without taking time to think clearly.

If Jacob told you a story which wasn't true as a way to get your support for him moving out of his home, then you've cause serious damage.

The reason I'm cautious is because I was in youth ministry a long time, and have seen this too many times before. Teen gets mad at mom and dad, so they make up a story.

Your statement here shows your lack of real compassion or understanding of the effects of what you did:

"If the accusations are true or false, that's for the Investigators to figure out."

Sure, what you said is true, but did you think about if it's indeed false. Jacob could get in more trouble for making a false report. His parents could be dragged through the mud for no fault of their own. He could be put in the system again. And his parents could be burdened with huge legal fees.

Bottom line is this: you can claim ethics or whatever, but you need more knowledge of the person making the accusation before getting involved.

David, I can agree with you in part, but look at the other side. A teen reaches out to someone he believes he can trust and expects what? Not to be believed?

I realize this is the inernet, but this kid, as brilliant as he seems, is young and naive. He may have not told the complete truth, but I don't believe he made the entire thing up.