How close should a pastor get to the members? - Page 6

rgcraig · #51 12-11-2008, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Growing up - in the church I was from and the generation I grew up with; an individual could not actively participate in our church unless they were dating the Pastor's child. For my family and I - it was a fate we wish we would have escaped. Relationships were sabotagued due to the Pastor's family and when we wanted to "not date" the Pastor's son then we were ostracised and no longer a part of anything. And if you married the pastor's son or daughter then God bless your heart - that is all I have to say on the matter.

Most pastors in or out of UPCI set themselves up and their churches up for failure to be all God's wants and expects by only allowing family and certain "yes" people to be a part of their inner circle.

JMHO.
Rhoni

If there would have been some way to be in ministry and not marry a preacher - I think I would have married better.

So, did the pastor's child date several at a time so that more than one person was being used?

Maple Leaf · #52 12-11-2008, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

So, did the pastor's child date several at a time so that more than one person was being used?

I've always found it curious that we refer to involvement in the Church as "using" people, and that otherwise sensible people are eager to be "used."

Pressing-On · #53 12-11-2008, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

So, did the pastor's child date several at a time so that more than one person was being used?

Probably!

rgcraig · #54 12-11-2008, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maple Leaf

I've always found it curious that we refer to involvement in the Church as "using" people, and that otherwise sensible people are eager to be "used."

Sorry - should have said "actively participate"

Sister Alvear · #55 12-11-2008, 01:23 PM

Strange, I come home and opened this thread...we were just talking about this today with some new missionaries.
I am a firm beleiver that there should be no gap between saints and ministry and being close does not always cause problems...
I love my people. They are ALWAYS welcome at my home...I am no better than they are in fact I am THEIR servant...not someone they have to wait on...
Respect is earned...when you have to demand it something is wrong...

My Own Eyes · #56 12-11-2008, 01:25 PM

I only read through the first two pages, but I find it interesting that no one mentioned the example Jesus set for us.

I mean, he was reachable, he was accessable. He was the friend that sticks closer than a brother. He didn't hold himself above everyone else...and he was GOD.

To be fair, this is a touchy subject for me as I have always had an issue with the whole concept of a spiritual hierarchy in the church. I am a egalitarian to the core.

Sister Alvear · #57 12-11-2008, 01:27 PM

When someone has to remind others they are the boss...well....

Sister Alvear · #58 12-11-2008, 01:31 PM

Jesus...the one that turned water into wine at a marriage in Canaan...being a Jewish male he must have danced the hora with them...a Jewish custom...a friend of sinners...a friend of questionable people...spoke with women and children...no Jewish Rabbi would have done that in those days...

Doesn´t quite sound like the clergy of today....

Rhoni · #59 12-11-2008, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

So, did the pastor's child date several at a time so that more than one person was being used?

As a matter of fact he had a haram It didn't stop after he married my sister either.

Rhoni · #60 12-11-2008, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maple Leaf

I've always found it curious that we refer to involvement in the Church as "using" people, and that otherwise sensible people are eager to be "used."

It is a common phrase we have 'used' through the years.

What it meant in our church was solo's in the chior, teaching Sunday School, Bible quizzing, or being on the youth committee. It also included skits for the Christmas banquet, ect...

The Pastor's son asked me to the Christmas banquet one year because he didn't want me to go with Jerry Harper - who I adored. I didn't know he wanted to take me or that he was even coming. When the PK asked me to go it took me 2 hours of cajoling from him to accept. It was the loneliest banquet I ever went to. He was busy doing and I sat with a table of young people alone watching the love of my life sitting with another girl from a neighboring church because I wasn't available.

I dated the PK for about a year and when I told him I wasn't going to date him any more -he told me I couldn't stop dating him. I said, "Watch me." I stopped dating him and stopped being 'used' in the church. I went off to Bible College at 17 and purposed never to go back.
Blessings, Rhoni