Raising Apostolic Children

[Sherri]

Originally Posted by Sept5SavedTeen

I hate those sort of statements! They're like a nails on a chalk board... "Well, you know, they're just eventually going to rebel..." Now losing them to liberal AFFers isn't the worst thing in the world, lol, and I know that was said in jest, but here's my point...

Even if there are a ton of rules, if you EXPLAIN them to your kids and your kids really love the LORD they will keep the rules. I will never worry about my future daughters and that having them wear skirts might be too strict and make them backslide one day, because my future wife and I explain it to them, and teach them all the other doctrines of the Church and about GOD, in their rising and sleeping. Hassidic Jews continue on with 1000 more rules than we have, but they still stay and are faithful. This apostolic who has these rules warrior mentioned, I don't agree with all of them, but they, and the rest of us, shouldn't hold back holiness from the next generation for fear of them backslidding. If you really believe something you owe it to your children to teach it.

-Bro. Alex

You are a bit idealistic, Alex. You shouldn't make statements like this before you're even married, much less having raised kids. You may have to eat these words someday. I hope not, but it can happen, in spite of your best efforts.

We home schooled, drilled the Word into my kids, did devotions, and all the right stuff. At 18, my daughter still rebelled and we had two terrible years where I thought I would go nuts. It's very frustrating as a pastor to see great things happening in your ministry and church and see your own child walk away from God. Thankfully, she could not depart from all those things that she knew in her heart, and God brought her back to Him. But there are no guarantees that your children will choose the right path; everyone still has his/her own will.

[rrford]

Originally Posted by warrior

Jimmy, this is all based on a discussion I was having with a friend. He church is very legalistic, and her children are carrying on pretty badly in school. Because they really don't have anything to take away from them their only manner of discipline is to spank them.

I think they need to be experiencing things kids experience because it helps to mold who they are, provide the needed experiences for being well rounded and can assist in areas of discipline.

No, I don't have any kids. I wouldn't be a member of this church because they just have waaaaaaay toooooooo many rules to follow and none of them are in the Bible.

I know, huh? Kind of like the Hebrews who took away rock toys and marbles and stick horses and mud pie pans and....


Man, I reckon all they had to rely on for instruction on proper discipline was the Word. Think it still works?

[rrford]

Originally Posted by warrior

I certainly think that if the children experienced more things and were given the social opportunities they would be able to relate better to their peers. Also, when a kid loves something so much the will behave so that they don't lose their freedom to do those things. I don't think spanking is the only way to dsicipline your kids. As you said it is a seperate matter.

I do think that parents must decide what will work for their family and what won't. I simply have a problem with denying them the freedom to do everything.

Ah, but the Word speaks against giving them a liberty to do everything. I personally have no problem not giving them the freedom to do everything.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by warrior

I was wondering how much of your church rules do you infringe on your children. For example the following rules have been set by your church:

1. No movies
2. No television
3. No sports or attending sporting events
4. No prom
5. No marching band
6. No pants at all on little girls regardless of the event
7. Head covering everday and all day for little girls (even in school)
8. No participation in dance
9. No listening to secular music

How much do you think your children should experience and are these things going to cause your child to go to hell or end up on some type of slippery slope?

In order to be consistent, our entire household follows the same set of rules. Fortunately, our church doesn't hand down very many specifics, so we have the freedom to use our own judgment in most cases.

If the parents believe/agree with the teachings of the church, they would have an obligation to pass those same beliefs on to their children. If they believe they aren't important, then I think they should find a church whose teachings are less stringent, so the whole household can be in agreement.

I don't like the idea of children behaving differently at home (or abroad) than they do in a church setting. (behavior referring to general lifestyle) I think it creates an unhealthy, deceptive environment. I don't want to raise little hypocrites, TYVM.

However, it's doubtful you can find a church whose teachings you agree with 100%, so there will always be issues, great or small, which require some level of submission from the saint. Submission to authority seems to be an unpopular idea nowadays.

To answer the question directly, we impose all of the official church rules upon our children, if they apply. Pastoral preferences or suggestions are a different matter, and are open to compromise or adjustment, respectfully speaking.

[Hoovie]

Originally Posted by warrior

Who isn't important. Let's discuss the issue. Thank you!

It's a non issue unless it's real. I am not sure I even know Amish/Mennonites like that.

[Sept5SavedTeen]

I don't think that the people warrior is mentioning are Amish/Mennonites, I think they are Apostolics, just very conservative and we've/I've been drawing comparisons between them and the Amish/Mennonites. By the way, Bro. Hoover, were you allowed a rumspringa?

Also, as for Sis. Alvear and Sherri's post; my pastor has five children, ranging from 10-21 and they are all living holy before GOD and they're really an inspiration to see. They were all homeschooled and none of them have strayed- now I'm not saying its not possible for them to stray, but it won't be due to their parent's sending mixed signals or on some part of their parents. Parents (especially fathers) that are conflicted with the church's teachings and are inconsistent and where the family is in a dysfunctional assembly, I can see exactly why their children don't make it. However, (and now your going to get a look into my tv watching...) the Duggars, as case and point, they have 18 children, and although they are Baptists and not in full Truth, those kids are still walking in the way their parents raised them in, and those kids were homeschooled, taught consistantly, and there seems to be a lot of love in that home. If I am idealistic fine, but I can't be settling or expecting my future children to backslide, and I can't be raising them with a 50/50 way of doing things for fear that if I am 100% with them that they will backslide. I will not let my future daughter wear a pair of pants so she doesn't hate me, the church and backslide and whatnot... If I believe something is wrong I can not compromise on it, and parents that do will see bad results. There is no fear in love, and if you love the LORD, and your children, and you teach them a love of the LORD then you should not fear them backslidding, and it is a trick of the devil for you to fear their backslidding and then not teach them what is right.

-Bro. Alex

[nahkoe]

Originally Posted by Sept5SavedTeen

I don't think that the people warrior is mentioning are Amish/Mennonites, I think they are Apostolics, just very conservative and we've/I've been drawing comparisons between them and the Amish/Mennonites. By the way, Bro. Hoover, were you allowed a rumspringa?

Also, as for Sis. Alvear and Sherri's post; my pastor has five children, ranging from 10-21 and they are all living holy before GOD and they're really an inspiration to see. They were all homeschooled and none of them have strayed- now I'm not saying its not possible for them to stray, but it won't be due to their parent's sending mixed signals or on some part of their parents. Parents (especially fathers) that are conflicted with the church's teachings and are inconsistent and where the family is in a dysfunctional assembly, I can see exactly why their children don't make it. However, (and now your going to get a look into my tv watching...) the Duggars, as case and point, they have 18 children, and although they are Baptists and not in full Truth, those kids are still walking in the way their parents raised them in, and those kids were homeschooled, taught consistantly, and there seems to be a lot of love in that home. If I am idealistic fine, but I can't be settling or expecting my future children to backslide, and I can't be raising them with a 50/50 way of doing things for fear that if I am 100% with them that they will backslide. I will not let my future daughter wear a pair of pants so she doesn't hate me, the church and backslide and whatnot... If I believe something is wrong I can not compromise on it, and parents that do will see bad results. There is no fear in love, and if you love the LORD, and your children, and you teach them a love of the LORD then you should not fear them backslidding, and it is a trick of the devil for you to fear their backslidding and then not teach them what is right.

-Bro. Alex

Just because they're living the way they were raised now, doesn't mean they won't stray. My ex was raised super extremely conservative Baptist. When I married him (I was 18, he was 22) he was still very much following what he'd been raised in. He was homeschooled or in a private Christian school for his entire school career. He attended Bob Jones University.

My upbringing wasn't *quite* as conservative (I was allowed to wear pants, and we did have a tv in the house..although extremely limited access to it) but when we married, I was still walking that path.

We moved away from our families and it didn't take very long at all for us to slip away...and for both of us, completely to the other extreme (he still practices witchcraft, druidism and dark magick, I practiced up until I came back to church/God a year and a half ago).

[Hoovie]

Alex,

We did do "Rumspringa". The term is synonymous with joining the youth group and literally means "running around".

Most Old Order Mennonites do not get the same liberties as many of the Amish youth... for example, I was at the beginning of my Rumspringa years when I left home. A primary reason for leaving home was to get my drivers license/car. Some Amish are allowed this choice without leaving home.

[RandyWayne]

I am not sure if good bro Ogatt has any children but I would love to hear his wisdom in raising saints-to-be!

[KWSS1976]

I don't worry about the rules the church makes it is my kid and I have the say in what they do. I teach them what is right and wrong yes we go to the movies to watch Wall-E or some other kid movies I see nothing wrong with that I know of to many pentecostal kids that where sheltered in there life church was all they knew and when they got old enough to make there own decisions they went wild because they did not know of anything in the outside world but church. My son the other Wensday night was not finish with his homework so it was time for church to start and my son wanted to go well he said dad church is more important than his homework I said son chuch is not going to help you pass your test praying will help but the church will not. I am the parent of my kid I am accountable for what they do and learn not the church or the pastor.