For those who want to know...RULES at my church! - Page 59

#**581** 11-02-2007, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeanie

Was there an autopsy? Whoa! Everyone must have been shocked!

No Autopsy, but he was very, very old.....in his 90's. For years you could tell he had been sick but never went to the DR.

RandyWayne · #**582** 11-02-2007, 05:45 PM

Getting back to a point I made earlier, I am willing to bet that in some of these extreme cases IF the pastors actually went to the doctor, they would discover some form of brain tumor since mean, controlling, and sometimes violent, are often symptoms of that.

dizzyde · #**583** 11-02-2007, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aquestioninggirl

The person that he had an affair with did and it was due to an unethical situation on his part but maybe because it was her word against his they did not do anything?

I don't really know, not knowing anything about the situation, but if the system is working, I know that there is a process. I am not saying that the process always works, I'm actually sure that it doesn't some of the time. I just know that in stories like this, it is a very fine line that leadership has to walk. Because, (and I am NOT insinuating that this is the case in the situation that you are referring to) there are some people who will get it in for a preacher, and fabricate charges against him. So those in authority have a very hard job in circumstances like this. IMO

#**584** 11-02-2007, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeanie

Oh me too!!!

I really felt I lost who I was at one point, I became someone else just to please others.

Exactly...If you were to ask those that knew me in and still know me out...they would tell you I am much different...when I was in I was stuffing myself inside so that I would not be displeasing to anyone...now I just think about what will be pleasing to God, my husband, and myself....

JaneEyre · #**585** 11-02-2007, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizzyde

When your life becomes someone elses, when you try to become whatever it is that the others want you to be, a little of you dies every day.
Generally, when someone else is demanding that you change who you are to please them, or God, that list of demands is continually changing. Because they don't even know what it is that they need or expect, it is usually a deficiency in themselves that causes them to behave the way they do. They are not happy with who they are. I had a nervous breakdown before I realized this. It has taken me years to regain myself, and there are parts of me that I feel will forever be lost. But God is good!! He has been faithful to me!

Sorry, SENSITIVE subject!!! LOL!

I can relate to this. It's comforting to know that others have been through similar situations and survived.

JaneEyre · #**586** 11-02-2007, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Truth Seeker

Exactly...If you were to ask those that knew me in and still know me out...they would tell you I am much different...when I was in I was stuffing myself inside so that I would not be displeasing to anyone...now I just think about what will be pleasing to God, my husband, and myself....

I can relate to others now much better. I am not depressed anymore. My physical health is better. My mental health is better and I feel so much more peace in my life. Praise God for showing me that living for God is not about pleasing others - but about pleasing HIM.

#**587** 11-02-2007, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizzyde

When your life becomes someone elses, when you try to become whatever it is that the others want you to be, a little of you dies every day.

Generally, when someone else is demanding that you change who you are to please them, or God, that list of demands is continually changing. Because they don't even know what it is that they need or expect, it is usually a deficiency in themselves that causes them to behave the way they do. They are not happy with who they are. I had a nervous breakdown before I realized this. It has taken me years to regain myself, and there are parts of me that I feel will forever be lost. But God is good!! He has been faithful to me!

Sorry, SENSITIVE subject!!! LOL!

You sound like others I have spoken too...I am doing my best to glean the good out and hold tight to it...and let the bad stuff go...I have to beieve in my heart they did not mean anything for evil, they just don't know how what they are doing is killing peoples spirits...you would think that when the church has a revolving door they would get a hint....and there are some long time people that have left not just a few months but years and lifetimes....steady saints not part time ones...

The thing that is saddest of all are all those that have been raised this way and know nothing else...but I do know the UPC is having a hard time hanging onto the youth...perhaps it will change in time...

#**588** 11-02-2007, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

Getting back to a point I made earlier, I am willing to bet that in some of these extreme cases IF the pastors actually went to the doctor, they would discover some form of brain tumor since mean, controlling, and sometimes violent, are often symptoms of that.

it must be the slowest growning tumor ever...because its been going on for years and years....not a new thing!

#**589** 11-02-2007, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneEyre

I can relate to others now much better. I am not depressed anymore. My physical health is better. My mental health is better and I feel so much more peace in my life. Praise God for showing me that living for God is not about pleasing others - but about pleasing HIM.

Ditto all around Sis.....